Can I ever forgive you?
by The-Red-Pheonix
Summary: Life is hell, but don't we all know it! Well what if ya best friend played your other friend and then broke you and your boyfriend up, what if fate decided to kill your parents.....what would you do? would you want to live?
1. Chapter 1: Goodbye

Can I ever forgive you?  
  
Introduction Chapter  
  
I fidgeted, running my hand unconsciously through my short, dirty blonde hair. My hazel eyes refused to stop the tears from spilling. My life had gone from complete mess to utter disaster, why is life a journey that refuses to give me a break.  
  
I leaned back against the headboard of my bed, pulling my legs up to my chest, before wrapping my arms around my knees.  
  
I sighed in between the constant hiccupping that my tears had caused. My head was spinning; determining reality from fiction was becoming a difficult task for me. Please god, take me now and spare me the misery. I heard a silent knock. I lifted my head, staring at the white door, as it was slowly pushed open.  
  
"You ok?" the masculine voice asked.  
  
I shock my head, straining my eyes to figure out who the male body was. He stepped forward; coming into the light that was flowing from my side table.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I snapped, staring at the red haired guy before me.  
  
His name was Tala Valkov, my supposedly best guy friend. His red hair was gelled into an odd hairstyle, with two pieces of hair hanging in his face. His unnatural sky blue eyes carried concern and sorrow.  
  
"Come on Kit, I meant no harm."  
  
"Yeah right, using my best friend for a play toy wasn't enough, you had to go a ruin my relationship. Even though you knew the troubles I was going through, I needed him Tala and you took him away from me."  
  
My mind buzzed, my heart ached. Tala had destroyed my best friend and he proceeded as far as to brake Bryan and I's relationship. Ok I do admit we weren't a happy, lovey-dovey couple, but he was my backbone, he helped me get through the death of both my parents.  
  
"Katie, you know he wasn't treating you right, you know deep down that I did the right thing." Tala stepped closer to my bed. Sitting on the end, staring pleadingly into my puffy eyes.  
  
"Keep telling yourself that Tala, cause that's all you have to make yourself believe that what you did was right!"  
  
A hurt look appeared in his eyes, but I ignored it. There wasn't a snowflake's chance in hell that he was getting out of this easily. Even if he was on his knees begging me, I could not forgive him for what he had done.  
  
"Kitten, please, I..."  
  
"Only my true friends call me Kitten. Get out Tala! Get out before I do something that I might regret." I felt like jumping and strangling him with my weak, trembling hands, no better idea, grab the closest spork and stab him to death with it. A spork, the symbol of May's and I's friendship.  
  
We were like sisters, we did everything together and we discussed problems with one another. Hell we couldn't even go a day with out at least talking to each other.  
  
But recently things had kinda changed; she had shut herself off, she hadn't been attending school for the last week and every time I rang, her answer machine would take my message and I never got a phone call back.  
  
Only was it 2 days ago did I find out, it was Tala who had played her so bad, that she felt like there was no point to living. He was a back stabber that's what her was, a dirty, rat bagging player! "I want no man hoe in my room!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, pointing at the door, indicating I wanted him to leave now.  
  
His eyes showed deep hurt and suffering, he looked like a puppy dog wanted forgiveness from his master. But he should have never bitten his master in the first place. "Leave Tala and I mean NOW!"  
  
Tala gave me one more glance before slowly getting up from the end of the bed and walking over to the door. He paused muttering a sad, "sori about May, Kitten, but it wasn't me" before walking out of the door, closing in softly behind him.  
  
Then once again I was alone; all alone to dive deep into my sadness, oh how I wish that May or Bryan was here to help me.  
  
Silver caught my eye. I looked up, over at my desk. A pair of very inviting sharp scissors looked back at me. With out thinking I scrambled over the bed. Grabbed the scissors and placed them over one of my wrists. I took in a sharp breath.  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
I ran the scissors on a vertical over my wrist, instantly drawing blood. Suddenly my head felt light and my body went limp. I collapsed into a lump on the floor. My last vision was of May and I standing next to each other, wide smiles on our faces, like we didn't have a care in the world.  
  
This was a chapter I just wanted to write.........if you think I should continue this story please tell me in your review. Thank you........ oh and forgive me if there is any spelling of grammar errors......R&R 


	2. Chapter 2: Pain!

Can I ever forgive you?  
  
Part 2  
  
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My eyes slowly opened, revealing to me a pearl white ceiling. I layed there, in what was a white-sheeted bed, listening to the heart monitor beeping away. My left wrist was bandaged and taken care of. There was a drip in my right arm, which was slowly giving me god-knows-what liquid, as I lay there. So I wasn't dead.  
  
I turned my head slowly to my left, as to give me a look out the window. All I saw was a green field of some sort, with small people walking around on it. I'm defiantly not dead.  
  
I heard the door to my sterile room being pushed open. I decided not to bother taking notice and just ignore the person that saved me for another day of hell.  
  
"Oh, child, I see that you're awake."  
  
I rolled my eyes somewhat groggily, at the over enthusiastic nurse. While I continued to look out the window. I didn't feel like talking to anyone and she probably would just end up peeving me off if I communicate with her.  
  
"Well my dear, I can understand why you don't want to talk. When my cousin got tonsillitis, he was practically writing his words down...."  
  
I moaned. Great, I get stuck with the over enthusiastic, none-stop, talker of a nurse! I shifted a little as she ripped the doona off the bed, so she could change it's cover and in the mean time, still tell me about her frickin' cousin with tonsillitis.  
  
"......anyway my cousin was only 15 when he was diagnosed, what a old age for it don't you think? But he was a bit on the slow side...."  
  
I cannot take anymore of this.  
  
"Will you please just shut up!" I practically snapped.  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks, holding the cup of pills I was supposed to take.  
  
"So you can talk," she smiled, handing me the pills and a cup of water.  
  
Noooooo!!! She smiled, is there no defeating this so damn happy lady. I took the pills from her and quickly gulped them down.  
  
"Now rest dear. Your grandparents will be picking you up tonight."  
  
Oh yes, my grandparents, Mr. Barstard and Mrs. Bitch. I was told that 98% of grandparents were old, wrinkled covered people, who showered their younger relatives with gifts.  
  
Well just my luck, I was stuck with the other 2%. The hate, all moving things, with two legs and despise any one called Katie Jefferson. They're a duo of mass destruction, if you get in their way that is. They personally could wipe out a whole country if they wanted to.  
  
I just watched as the nurse shuffled out of my room, flashing me a warm smile before closing the door softly.  
  
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(Later that day.......round 6pm)  
  
The front door to the house was opened and my Grandmother guided me through.  
  
"It was lucky I went in to check if you had done your laundry. Otherwise the cleaning bill for you carpet would have been so much more."  
  
See! She doesn't care about me. To her it's all about money. Not like she hasn't got any to spend. My Grandad is the head of D.F.I. I'm not too sure what it is, as he never answers my questions. But I do know that he is the second richest man in state. Of cause grandma just married him for his money, but their both so retarded that they suit each other.  
  
"You inherited this act of filthiness from your mother. She was a hoe. She did no good to my son. Getting pregnant to make him marry her. She was street trash and you're turning out to be just like her, worthless wench. You cost us heaps and what do we get?......"  
  
I ignored her. I was bombarded with these remarks all the time. I was use to them, even though they still made my blood boil.  
  
My Mum was a high-class lady. She married Dad in love, nothing more and nothing less. It was just her luck that she got pregnant with me before they got married. They always kept telling me, I was the best buddle of joy they ever had.  
  
But Dad's parents never saw it that way. They despised my Mum when she first hooked up with Dad. My Mum was an only child with two deceased parents. She had made a name for herself, a well payed business lady.  
  
That's what Dad's parents couldn't stand. That she could support herself, with out the help of their son. Then when I came along, it just got worse.  
  
They wouldn't talk to her and excluded us. They would invite Dad to dinner and when he brought us they would sneer and say what we were doing there.  
  
"Child, go to bed, we'll discuss your affairs later!" Grandad's hard voice commanded. "Yes Granda......Yes sir."  
  
Grandad gave me a sharp look when I was about to say Grandad. They disliked the word, as it made them sound old. But they were old!!  
  
It was hopeless. I had only been with them for four months and they had already begun to brake me into their chain. Grandma wanted me to be a well- mannered ballerina. But when I kicked up a storm she gave in and started to believe I was crap, dirt under her shoe.  
  
I shuffled quietly up the large, black, marble stairs, which lead to MY section of the house. Which happened to be on the 3rd floor at the very, very back.  
  
It's ok, I guess. At least I got to decorate my own room. It's pretty small, really small compared to the other rooms, but I don't mind.  
  
My double bed is pushed up against the wall in one corner, the four poster bed supporting a royal blue canopy. The walls are a crimson colour and the carpet is white.  
  
Ok, white, I know what your thinking. But that was the only thing I didn't get to choose. Grandma has all her carpets white. She's a clean freak. So I wonder why in the world, she chose white?!?  
  
My desk is against the other wall, with a modern computer on it. Next to that is a door that leads off to a small, but versatile bathroom and further along the wall is my wardrobe. That contains many things, skirts, gowns and shirts. But none of the clothes I originally brought here. They were thrown out and replaced with Gran's taste in clothing. Which I have to say is O-L-D!  
  
So that's what is in my room. I sighed. Heading over to my desk. The smell of bleach hit me as I walked over there. I looked down and saw a wet patch. Didn't take them long to clean it up.  
  
I stared at the desk, my mobile sitting peacefully on it. It would be vibrating to life, if May was talking. Sending me a text message every 3 minutes, asking what I was doing and every time I usually replied with homework.  
  
I looked down at my bandaged wrist. I stared at it. Remembering how good it had felt, all the happy memories that had flooded back. I then realised, my escape was pain! If I need pain to be happy, to escape, then so be it.  
  
I walked over to my bed. Took the nightclothes from under the pillow and got changed. I quickly slide into bed. I wasn't going to go down to dinner.  
  
I was going to sleep, try to escape from the world and if that didn't work, then I knew what I could do. But not long after, my eyes drooped down and I fell into a dead nightmare.  
  
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(Next morning)  
  
My trainers scraped the sidewalk, as my tummy rumbling. I hadn't eaten breakfast, because I had run out the door, as soon as I was ready. But I don't think I'll eat anyway.  
  
I was wearing my suck-arse uniform, which consisted of a navy blue skirt, white shirt and navy blue tie. 'St Michael's Catholic College,' written in navy blue on the shirts sleeve. I wore the approved white and navy blue runners, with the white ankle socks. My light blue 'Rosy,' bag was slung over one shoulder as I walked cross-armed.  
  
I turned the corner and was faced with my high school. A large, black Iron Gate surrounded the cathedral style, old looking, snobby school. I walked through the front gate, followed the path that was beside the grass area's that had, 'STAY OFF GRASS,' written in red letters on large signs.  
  
I pushed through the many students, before reaching my room. This school is so stinking rich that they have a room that's allocated to you, were it holds six other people's stuff. You don't get a locker you get a nice wooden cupboard, with a key entry.  
  
I opened the door and walked in. Staring at my feet, as to try to avoid the people in there, but of cause they was no way in avoiding this clan.  
  
"Kitten....OH MY GOD!!! What happened to your wrist?!?!?"  
  
My pink haired friend shrieked. Mariah Ocelot, daughter of Mr. Ocelot who owns the entire line of tyre stores in town. She's a quite skinny girl, with lovely bronze cat-like orbs, for eyes. She has dyed pink hair, which flows half way down her back. She's nice, but she is quite a snob, if I say so myself.  
  
She doesn't like getting her hands dirty and loves accessories. Oh talking of accessories, she's going out with one of the hottest dudes in school.  
  
Ray Kon, who if you see Mariah is always by her side. They make a cute couple.  
  
Speak of the devil there he is, leaning against Mariah's cupboard looking at me.  
  
He has beautiful raven black hair, which is wrapped in a long ponytail that runs down his back. He's quite skinny, but is well toned and a little muscular.  
  
He is the schools fastest runner and has many metals to prove it. His Dad is the world champion cross-country runner, so no wonder Ray's fast.  
  
But his best feature is his golden eyes, which are also cat-like, but hold more depth and wisdom.  
  
"Well answer me!" Mariah raised her voice, stamping her foot impatiently on the ground.  
  
"I don't want to talk about It." was my only reply.  
  
"KITTEN!!!!! Tell me!" she wined.  
  
"Mariah leave her alone, can't you see she doesn't want to talk."  
  
I'm so happy for Robert. He's the only really sensible, not too snobbish, person in the school. He is quite tall, taller then me.  
  
His hair was black, until he dyed it purple. But his hair does go well with his one of kind crimson, brown eyes. He is quite well built and is one of the best debaters in the school, which goes to say that his Dad is town governor. We all respect him.  
  
I smiled a little thank-you smile before turning to my cupboard.  
  
My heart sank as I noticed May's cupboard was still untouched. Her books were neatly stacked on the selves behind the glass doors.  
  
"She is not here again," Roberts comforting voice told me.  
  
I ignored him and packed my bag. Not taking notice that the sixth member of this room wasn't there. I didn't care anyway.  
  
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(Lunch Time)  
  
Today was just getting worse. Everyone was talking to me at once and I didn't feel like talking. Bryan was avoiding me, sending me death glares when he caught me looking his way. Tala was trying to say sorry, I was losing my patients with him. Couldn't he just leave me alone!  
  
May didn't come to school again and the teachers were starting to pick on me. I know I'm not an angel. But who is?  
  
I needed to escape. I need to escape soon. Ideas ran through my head. Ways to inflict pain, ways of self-harm. Then an idea came in mind. Yes that will do. I smiled. My escape!  
  
I walked over to the figure that was going to help me. I looped an arm around his neck and brought myself around to his front, so I could look him in the eyes. A smirk appeared on his lips.  
  
"Hey babe. What do you want?"  
  
"Many things Johnny, many things."  
  
Johnny is at least a head taller then I. He is one of the schools top 8 hottest guys.  
  
Johnny is the splitting image of his Dad. Same red hair and crystal blue eyes. Reminds me of Tala, apart from that Johnny is less muscular, but more toned. He's got a cocky personality and is one of the most obvious players in the school, just what I need.  
  
"So what do you really want? As you took the time out of your day, to come all the way over to poor little me." He smiled. Wrapping an arm around my waist pulling me in.  
  
I smiled back. Fiddling with a piece of short red hair at the back of his head. One that had happened to come undone from his set of gel spikes. He raised an eyebrow and looked down at me curiously.  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight, that's if you're not busy."  
  
Johnny just stared down at me, probably just shocked. Well that's what you could expect from him, for he has tried to get me, to go out with him, for years. I'm the only girl that hasn't been in his collection. He suddenly smirked and leaned down locking his lips with mine.  
  
"I would love to." He said, as he pulling back.  
  
I grinned. Yes, tonight I can escape. I removed my hands from around him neck and turned, swaying my hips as I left. Pathetic I know but I wanted him to want me more.  
  
"Pick me up at 7." I yelled over my shoulder, winking before turning the corner.  
  
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Ok this is the second chapter. If ya found Kitten a little slutty just then, well I agree with you.....But she's starting to abuse herself; she's starting to think it's the only escape. Just warning you there is going to be a little....*cough*.....stuff in the next chapter with her and Johnny.....well R&R......need 8 reviews total before I can update : P so please tell me what you think........ 


	3. Chapter 3: Cope

Can I ever forgive you?  
  
Part 3  
  
I slammed the door behind me as Johnny's expensive car pulled up in the driveway. I didn't tell Gran I was going out. I never do.  
  
His black Lamborghini diablo continued to run as I opened the door and slipped into the nice black leather interior. I turned and smiled. Johnny looked gorgeous in his semi tight black top, jacket and jeans. He smiled leaning over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"You look great."  
  
"Hum yeah right." I rolled my eyes.  
  
I was wearing a black shirt that was unbuttoned quite low down. Underneath I wore a white singlet. I also had a black short skirt on with nice black high heels. I wore jewellery, bangles, the works.  
  
Ok, I admit I look good, but the thing is I hate these clothes, it just isn't me! It's another of Gran's clothing ideas.  
  
Johnny laughed and shook his head.  
  
"So were are we going?" I asked, placing my hand on his.  
  
"Were going to a nice restaurant for dinner, then I dunno, where ever you want to go?"  
  
"How bout your place afterwards. Give us a time to talk."  
  
I smiled. Leaning back in the seat, laying my hands in my lap. Johnny smirked and pulled the car out of the driveway.  
  
"What ever you want princess."  
  
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The soft thud of my top dropping on the ground was heard.  
  
We had had our dinner and was now at Johnny's place having a friendly.......um chat.  
  
Light kisses were placed along the side of my neck as his hands wrapped themselves around my back. I moved closer and placed my arms around his neck.  
  
Crooking my neck on an angle, as the kisses came close to my chin. I tugged at his top. A smirk played on his lips as he stopped, allowing me to remove his top and drop it with mine on the floor. His well built chest visible in the pale light, the muscles slightly retreating as I ran my hands over his chest. I smirked and looked up, his eyes wondering over my face.  
  
He leaned down and grasped my lips in a passionate kiss. Moaning I leaned further into him. His hands ran down my sides before cupping themselves under my arse. I gasped as he lifted me up onto his hips. I smiled as I wound my legs around his waist, wrapping my hands around his neck as I playfully kissed the side of his mouth.  
  
He smiled, walking easily with me over to his bed. Dropping me down he climbed up, kneeling over the top of me, hands placed on each side of my head as she stared contently into my eyes. I stared up into his. I now understood why girls flung themselves at his feet. He was gorgeous!  
  
I moved my head up, locking my lips with his once again.  
  
Not after long I was down too only my red lace undies and bra and he was only in his black silk boxers. I gasped as he cupped one of my breasts in one hand and massaged it lightly, as we were still kissed. I quickly pulled back. He stopped and looked down at me.  
  
"If you want me to stop, I will."  
  
I shook my head lightly in a no.  
  
"It's just that.....I've never done this before."  
  
I couldn't believe this! I was confessing my deepest secret to him. He amazingly just smirked.  
  
"Ok, I'll take it slow."  
  
I smiled. His lips claimed mine once more, I moaned as his tongue rubbed against mine. He was melting me like butter. I gasped.......  
  
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I layed wrapped up in the red sheets. Hair messily spread out on his pillow. Last night was heaven, never knew sex was so good.  
  
The pain then the pleasure, happy memories had come to me last night and I felt free, when his arms wrapped around me.  
  
I rolled over onto my side, glancing over to the body next to me. He was fast asleep, red hair all over the shop. The sheets hovering dangerously low on his hip.  
  
I smiled before rolling back over and sliding out of the bed. I heard him stir. I froze, looking back as he shifted over a little, still in sleep.  
  
I let out my breath and continued to reclaim the discarded clothes from around his room. Blushing as I found my undies under his sofa.  
  
When I was ready I wrote him a little note and placed it on the pillow I slept on, before quietly slipping out the door.  
  
I tiptoed down the hallway and slowly walked down the main entrance staircase. It was a fact that the McGregor's were one of the most richest and powerful families in town.  
  
I stopped as a figure appeared at the doorway, which would lead to the kitchen. The older man stood straight. His crystal blue eyes stared at me. His red hair was short and nicely brushed. I continued to the bottom of the stairs before smiling and saying good morning.  
  
"Good Morning, my dear"  
  
His voice was laced with the Scottish accent that his son had unfortunately lost.  
  
"I see that my son entertained you last night."  
  
He had a mischievous glint in his eyes. Not to be rude I smiled and nodded.  
  
"He did sir and if you wouldn't mind, when he wakes up could you say thank you for me."  
  
The man smiled, looking like he was about to laugh.  
  
"I shall do. This is the first time I've seen the girl leave first. This won't go down well on his ego."  
  
This time the man chuckled to himself. I smiled.  
  
"Well I should go now. Don't want to be late for school."  
  
"Oh my dear, I can only guess that you don't have a way to get home. Aren't I right?"  
  
It then did occur to me. Johnny had driven me and it would take me at least 2 hours to walk home and there wasn't a snowflakes chance in hell that I was going to walk all the way home, not in these killer heels.  
  
The man's chuckles broke me out of my line of thought.  
  
"I'll get my driver to take you home. No need to stay any longer if you don't want to."  
  
Johnny's Dad was a nice fellow. He was layed back and causal, but you always needed to polite. That's what my Mum always said.  
  
I smiled and thanked him. He then quickly disappeared around the corner and returned shortly after.  
  
"Just head out the front, your lift should be there."  
  
"Thank you sir, I'll see you at the function on Friday?"  
  
"Yes you'll see me there and it was a pleasure to have you, I think it was for my son to."  
  
I couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Thank you again."  
  
"Goodbye child."  
  
I then opened the door and left. Walking down the black marbled front steps until I reached the black stretch limo that awaited me. I slid in and told the driver my address. I watched as Johnny's house slowly moved away.  
  
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"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU LAST NIGHT! YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK!"  
  
I rolled my eyes. My Gran probably brought out the champagne and celebrated and Grandad probably didn't even give a shit.  
  
"I was out with a friend."  
  
Was my only reply as I ascended up the stairs.  
  
"KATIE MARY JEFFERSON!"  
  
I stopped and turned around as the harsh voice sliced through the air.  
  
"MY STUDY NOW!"  
  
This couldn't be good. When grandad gets involved, it's never good. He has a harsh way of dealing with things.  
  
I dropped my head and stared at the stairs as I walked back down, turned around the banister and walked along the stairs until I came to a nearly invisible door. It blended in with the wall.  
  
I pushed it slowly open to where my Grandad now sat in his throne like leather chair. His hands folded neatly on the desk, his brown beady eyes contrasted with his black, grey streaked curly hair. I stepped in and stood straight in the middle of the room. Awaiting the coming onslaught.  
  
"Where were you last night?"  
  
His voice harsh but toneless. My body rippled with fear. I hate my grandparents, but I was scared of my Grandad.  
  
He didn't remind me of my Dad. Dad was a kind, sweet-hearted man who loved to be with his prized daughter and wife.  
  
Grandad was a heartless, cold, demanding man, who lived in belief that women are inferior. I'm even sure Grandma is scared of him when he's in a shitty mood. Which I have to say is always.  
  
"I was with a friend like I said before."  
  
"And who may that be?"  
  
I bit my lip, if I told him he would investigate. But if I lie, he would know, somehow and I would be in deeper shit then I am now.  
  
"Mr. Johnny McGregor."  
  
I nearly whispered as I lowered my head. His maroon carpet looked so interesting right now.  
  
"Are you telling me the truth?"  
  
"Yes Sir, no lie in that."  
  
"Good, cause if you are there will be hell to pay."  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
God I sounded like a soldier in the army. Even though Grandad is like a cold leader. Yes sir, no sir, and maybe sir. This is driving me mad, but what can I do, I can't speak back.  
  
"Go to your room now. Breakfast is in 20 minutes so don't be late."  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
I turned around a quickly walked out of the room. More grateful that I didn't get punished, then actually leaving, which was a first.  
  
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I slid out of my clothes. My body felt dirty and unclean. I quickly turned the shower on, not bothering that the water was freezing, I ducked under the stream.  
  
The beads of water rolled off my body, causing goose bumps to be apparent on my lightly tanned skin. My mind floated away, to places of darkness and misery.  
  
As darkness consumed my body, I lost track of what I was doing. I slid down the wall of the shower and sat on the cold tiles. My head cupped in my hands as I sobbed lightly.  
  
My life was a wreck. Hidden, forgotten memories chose now to surface, why now? Why me? What a dumb question, it has only one-answer.....life hates me.  
  
I was brought out of the shadows by the rough banging on the door; I quickly looked over at the clock and cursed. I knew who was at the door and I could guess that he wasn't happy.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~! ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
I quietly walked up the stairs back to my bedroom. Turning the corner, I walked down the corridor towards my room. A single tear spilled down my cheek, which was quickly followed by others.  
  
Tonight went worse then it usually did.  
  
Grandad was royally pissed because I was 10 minutes late. He and Grandma decided on having one short period of spilling everything they thought of my mum and me out. Rude, crude, evil, plain nasty, anything you could think of they told me.  
  
I tried to wipe the tears away with the back of my hand. I forced myself to keep my straight posture until I reached my door. I opened it and quickly walked to the bathroom. I tore open the door and slammed it shut. The room shadowed in darkness, the only light illuminated from under the door from the main room.  
  
Now that no one could see me I broke. Tears cascaded down my already tear stained cheeks. I slid down the back of the door. Collapsing into a heap, a fragile sobbing wreck. I drew my knees to my chest and wept. The darkness consumed me.  
  
I needed to escape! This wasn't where I wanted to be!  
  
I pulled myself up from the floor and staggered over to the basin. I turned the light on. The tear stained, puffy eyed girl looked back at me in the mirror.  
  
I pulled the door open and fumbled around in the cupboard. Objects and tablets fell onto the floor, but I didn't care, they weren't what I was looking for.  
  
My hands finally found what I needed. I slammed the door shut and held it up. The small razor glinted in my trembling hands.  
  
I wobbly walked back over to the door, leaning my back against it.  
  
I took the blade. Placing it against the skin on the top of my leg. I drew it across, drawing blood instantly.  
  
My hand fumbled as I turned the light switch off. My body once again sliding down the door towards the floor.  
  
My head spun and the darkness consumed me once more. But this time I felt warm, my own blood giving me warmth. I slowly drifted away, my memories of May and I came once again. I smiled weakly as my brain switched off......  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~! ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
So what do you think of this chapter.......for all your reviews I made it longer ( well I'm asking all you nice people if you wouldn't mine giving me a total of 20 reviews ^-^  
  
I like your reviews, they give me the inspiration to wright....so the chapters come up faster that way......you want that don't you?!?!?!?  
  
Well next chapter Kitten meets someone.....Someone that is very important.....You'll have to wait mwahahahah so review and I'll update......fair trade _ okies till next time  
  
~!~ The Red Phoenix ~!~  
  
Oh and I apologise for spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes....I am dreadfully sorry! *nods* oh and I do not own the beyblade characters from any of the beyblade series...... 


	4. Chapter 4: Dizzy Spell number 1

Author.Notes//  
  
I apologise to Shibi's sister....the last character was not suppose to resemble you in anyway....so sorry if ya found it offensive I am really sorry......so it's been changed : D enjoy....  
  
Heyo people!!! How ya bein??? First of all I have to apologise for the lateness of my updates.....but I do have reasons why and I will try to make it up to you.....well the reasons why I haven't updated faster is because for the last 10 days I have been stranded in brush!!!!  
  
For camp and also because it's holidays.....ok you must be thinking that I should updating faster because it is the hols, but the thing is my COUSINS!!! Have hols 2 and I, yes ME! Has to look after them.....*Screams in frustration and starts pulling out hair* they are annoying brats ~!~!~!~!~ so I am writing in all the spare time I have _ so please put up with it for the time being........and give me support so I don't kill my younger relatives.......  
  
Well to finish off I thank all the people who reviewed :D it's greatly appreciated :P and I don't own beyblades or the poems that I'll be adding now to the end of each chapter. But I do own Kate, May and any other non- beyblade characters in this story and I also own the story line and plot.......  
  
Can I ever forgive you?  
  
Part 4  
  
I rolled over. My senses slowly came back to me. The smell of blood made my noise scrunch up. I shadowed my eyes from the morning light that was flooding in from the window.  
  
My neck and shoulders hurt. Moaning I slowly sat up. Rolling my shoulders, I tried to realise the tension that had built up from sleeping on the cold, hard tiles.  
  
I looked down at my leg. It was covered with hardened crimson blood, which had also spilled onto the floor. The wound I inflicted on myself hadn't been seriously deep, not a life risk, unfortunately! I slowly pulled myself up, ignoring the surge of pain from my leg.  
  
I grabbed a towel and cleaned my wounded up, covering it with a bandaid before cleaning the floor up to. No needs to aggravate the devils anymore then they are.  
  
I quietly walked out the door and stepped into the clean, bleach stinking room, that hadn't been touched. My magazines on cars and rock bands layed discarded in one corner of the room. The only shred of my true self left. I staggered over to the wardrobe; pulling the doors roughly open, before taking out the same bloody school uniform I wore everyday.  
  
Painfully and with a great deal of struggle, I was able to get ready and make myself at least look like I wasn't going down the drain. I walked over to the door, picking my bag up, flinging it over my shoulder before disappearing down the corridor.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~ !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
What the hell is going on? Just a second ago I was sitting in my English class minding my own business and then the teacher Mr Rumpled, decided to chuck a total spas at me for god knows what.  
  
"What did I do?" I asked half confused.  
  
"It's not what you did, it's what you haven't!"  
  
I arched an eyebrow and looked at him. What the hell was he talking about?  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You haven't done your English homework from yesterday and you haven't handed in the work that was due the day before. Ms. Jefferson your grades are on a complete down fall."  
  
I felt like yelling, who the fuck cares! But where would that get me....Oh in the principle's office! A dark, dank, large room occupied by a skinny, commando type mistress, who believes that children should be seen not heard. How she became a principle is beyond me.  
  
"Sorry Mr. Rumpled."  
  
He just grunted at me in reply and returned to his chair up on a little platform at the front of the class. "Kitten, are you alright?" Max asked, placing a hand lightly on my back.  
  
You know how I said the 6th member of our cupboard room wasn't there. Well here he is. Max Tate, son of Judy Tate, a young, rich, successful lady who works as a scientist for Voltaire. Don't ask who he is, I don't want to say unless it is down right important.  
  
Max is not a snob at all, even though people from town think that if you go to a rich school you are. Well he is the proof that not all of us are.  
  
He's a causal, laid back, wild skater, who has the most capturing light blue eyes, with the messiest light blonde hair. He wears his school uniform in an untidy fashion and never brushes his hair. But apart from that he is the most understanding of all my friends. He knows when I'm down and knows exactly what to say to get me out of my sorrow.  
  
"Nothings wrong Max, it's nothing."  
  
He raised a light blonde eyebrow before his mouth set in a frown.  
  
"There's something wrong and I would like you to tell me. I'm not letting you go until you tell me," he said again before grabbing my wrist.  
  
I frowned and looked at him.  
  
"Nothing is wrong. I promise Maxi, nothing is wrong."  
  
Max didn't look convinced at all. Am I a bad liar? Am I that easy to read?  
  
"Is there something you would like to share with the class, Ms. Jefferson, Mr. Tate?"  
  
"No sir."  
  
Max and I replied simultaneously before returning to our workbooks. Max sending me side-glances as I tried to focus on the work, he knew something was up.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~ !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
I sat down under an old oak tree, my spot of peace if I wanted to be alone. I had been coming and eating here more often, since the day I got out of hospital.  
  
A snap of a twig made me turn around. What I saw made me want to leave. Tala stood there looking at me, the pain that was now always there, visible in his eyes.  
  
"Hey," he began.  
  
"Tala, I have nothing to say to you and I don't want to listen to you."  
  
Maybe he didn't hear me or just chose to ignore me, but he walked up and sat down in front of me.  
  
"I heard from people that you're not looking well and is behaving oddly."  
  
I'm I really that obvious? And those people must be just Mariah! God she's such a gossiper.  
  
"I'm fine, but i feel sick when your around," I hissed turning my head away so I couldn't see his facial expression, which I knew would hurt me more.  
  
There was a sad sigh before a shuffle of leaves and snapping of twigs told me he had left. My heart sunk lower in my chest if it could.  
  
I was breaking my best friend's heart by not talking to him. But it's not like he didn't deserve it, May and Bryan are two objects that were close to me and he took them away. I can't just forgive him so easily.... Or can I?  
  
I clutched my head. Thoughts, feelings begun whizzing through my head at full speed, my body couldn't take this. I stumbled onto my feet and quickly dashed towards the restrooms. My stomach didn't feel so good.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~ !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
Friday night came like a bad toothache, painful and sudden. I'm stuck in a fancy convention type thing, which requires a dress and designable gear. Oh how I could hurl! These things are so boring and are a sociable occasion. I'm NOT sociable!  
  
Well, I'm stuck in a black boob tube top and a long black skirt that flows down to my ankles. It's basically black. Apart from the red glass beads, running diagonally across from one corner of the top and continues to run diagonally around the dress. My hair has been straightened, yet flicked upwards just at the bottom, framing my black mascara attacked hazel eyes. My eyelids have a light sprinkle of glitter over the top of them and my lips have been highlighted with a swipe of glossy red lip-gloss. Huge silver hoops are dangling from my poor ears, as a sliver diamond dog- encrusted chocker literally chokes me to death. My feet have been strapped to weapons that can truly cause bodily harm! They're a pair of black high heel going out shoes, which are seriously killing my feet.  
  
So from what you can hear Grandma has made me go through the complete works. Apparently the Nonnigons, the richest family known to mankind and who also own half of every company in this continent, are here. So of cause I have to dress to impress, even though I'm on strict grounds to be seen but not heard.  
  
I rolled my eyes, getting up from the table of complaining, snobby, stuck up teens, which I had been forced to sit next to.  
  
I needed air! Their imported, expensive perfume and cologne is suffocating me.  
  
Coughing I made my way over to the balcony doors, stepping out onto the nice little balcony, which is only five metres of the ground. It over looks a nice little garden with a pound basically just under the balcony railing. This nice huge mansion, that this fucked up convention was being held at, is owned by one of grandad's friends.  
  
My eyes wondered up to the nice midnight clear sky. The full moon shone down on my fragile, small body. The stars twinkled with joy. I rolled my eyes; joy was one thing I didn't need. I slowly turned around.  
  
What I was faced with just made me cringe.  
  
"Hello Kate" they both said in their usual fake friendly tones.  
  
Their evil smiles just told me once again that they were up to something, which would end up with me in a painful or embarrassing situation.  
  
"Hello Tarlia, Liz."  
  
To posh bitches, who usually get away with anything 'cause everyone thinks their angels. They're just bad girls that don't get caught.  
  
Tarlia has long straight brunette hair that goes to her shoulder blades. She has a straight cut fringe, which ends just above her eyebrows. I laughed at her once 'cause her hair cut just doesn't suite her. Her light brown eyes always seem to stare at me with mischief.  
  
Liz is about the same height, with shoulder blade long black hair, cut in the same style. She has the lightest blue eyes I've ever seen. But I don't like looking into them because they always seem to be glaring daggers at me.  
  
I don't see what their problem with me is. I mean they have the perfect bodies and looks to die for and outfits that always seem to be handmade.  
  
I can't be much of a threat, ok so everyone says I can sing like a superstar. But that doesn't give them a right to pick on me every time, when were at one of these conventions.  
  
Oh that's anther reason why I don't like these things, cause the deadly duo is always here, hot on my trail to cause my humiliation or pain.  
  
I was snapped out of thought by the clinking of their heels on the concrete, as they walked over to me. But before I could realise what was going on I was hosted up onto the balcony railing.  
  
"We think you need to cool off," was all they said with a little laugh before pushing me over the edge.  
  
I screamed as I fell backwards. Bitches!  
  
I awaited the sensation of hitting cold water, but instead I could feel arms catching me. The momentum of my body caused my catcher to fall backwards, ending up with me all over the top of them.  
  
I cursed those bitches before realising the groan emitted from underneath me.  
  
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry."  
  
I quickly scrambled off the person and stood up. I looked from were I was to the pound. I was one meter away from it. I would have missed it and hit the concrete head on, those damn dumb arse wipes, oh how I'm gonna......  
  
I then remembered that someone had caught me. I spun around. I was faced with a spiky brown haired guy, who was sitting up, rubbing the back of his head. A tiny frown on his face, as he looked at his position on the floor.  
  
"Oh I'm so sorry," I said once again, as I knelt down next to him, at the same time being careful not to rip my pricey dress.  
  
Suddenly his expression changed into a smile as he looked up at me.  
  
"No need to apologise. I'm quite happy, 'cause it ain't every day a pretty girl falls into your arms."  
  
He slowly got up and then I was able to get a better look at him.  
  
He was at least 185 centimetres tall, about a head and a half-taller then me. His hair was a dark brown. It was short and set in messy spikes. He had the most original capturing eyes I've ever seen. He had light green around his pupils, but it followed out into a dark forest green at the rims.  
  
From what was on show he had quite muscular but toned arms and his skin was tanned. His hands were resting in his baggy denim jeans and his, I guessed, well-toned stomach and nice chest was hidden under a black shirt. This was undone at the collar and was worn very causally. He seemed completely out of place at such a posh convention.  
  
I was bort out of my trance by his smooth voice.  
  
"So does my fallen angel have a name?"  
  
"Kate."  
  
Was my quick reply, he just smiled.  
  
"Kate, what a nice name, mines Bret."  
  
He had a cute name.  
  
"So how did you end up in my arms anyway?"  
  
I frowned and ran over what those two hoes had tried to do and if Bret hadn't caught me I would have died.  
  
"I was pushed by to evil cows," I hissed.  
  
He chuckled to himself as I covered my mouth. I've been told strictly to use no such language around others unless I wanted a scalding.  
  
"Don't worry, you can use language around me, I don't give a shit. I'm out here anyway to escape the complete politeness and posh people inside."  
  
I smiled and sat down next to him on the stone bench, which he had decided to rest on. He smiled and turned to me.  
  
"I can't stand it, those people inside are so up themselves, but so are my parents."  
  
I nodded knowingly.  
  
"Yeah, I was out on the balcony so I could escape the complete dribble inside. That's before I ended up down here. Well thanks for saving me."  
  
"No problemo, anyways if you hadn't been pushed by two cows. I wouldn't have anyone to talk to."  
  
"Yeah, true," I laughed lightly.  
  
"So what are you doing here? No offence, but you don't seem to be the type of person to be at these things," I asked, staring at him, in wonder.  
  
"Yeah, I ask myself the same question some times. But it's always the same answer, I'm forced to. My parents are very important people, so I always have to go to anything they go to. Which I must say is a lot. It's really boring and so damn long, so why are you here?"  
  
"Basically the same reason, through it's my grandparents who are important and it sounds like I go to less functions and occasions then you do. It must suck arse, meaning like having to go out all the time, how do you cope with school work and shit."  
  
He laughed lightly and looked up at the sky.  
  
"I balance everything out; I think I'm doing quite well. I go to St Christ College and they understand what I have to do, so my homework load is a little lighter, but not that much. Also my parents allow me to throw parties and go out when ever I please, which makes up for most of it."  
  
I smiled at him.  
  
"At least you have that. I don't have anything like that and because my parents died I only have my grandparents and they hate me."  
  
He turned to me and frowned.  
  
"I'm sorry. Ya grandparents don't sound that nice. Who are they?"  
  
"Oh I would say Mr. and Mrs. Shit for brains, but that ain't tha true names. They're really called Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson."  
  
Bret laughed at the beginning but frowned when I told him who my grandparents were.  
  
"So you are the grandchild of the Jefferson. I've heard something's about you, you're quite a rebel."  
  
He smiled as I replied.  
  
"I try to be, when I can."  
  
I smiled back and then we both cracked up laughing.  
  
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~ !~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~  
  
We sat out in the courtyard for hours. Talking about our hobbies, life style, schools, friends. I found out he plays basketball for a team at a sports centre and that he sings and plays a guitar in a band. I was quite shocked, I never knew that there was anyone in such a convention or in the poshie posh population that was, what you say.... Normal!  
  
I cracked up laughing as he told me about his friend who had tried out for his driver's licence and failed terribly. When driving his friend asked the instructor which way to go around the round a bout and the instructor said straight ahead. His friend literally drove straight over the round a bout.  
  
"He's seriously draft, I think he's tried for it 20 times and failed every time. But he's got it now."  
  
"How could he get it if he's done so bad the last few times?"  
  
"Personally I think his Dad rang up and talked the them, so all he did was walk through the doors and he got it. I hold onto the seat for dear life when he's driving."  
  
I laughed lightly.  
  
"I would like to meet ya friend, while he's not driving."  
  
Bret laughed and shook his head, mostly to himself, before smiling brightly.  
  
"I think he would love to meet you. The guys and I are hanging out at Draggers tomorrow, so I would love it if ya came around and hanged wid us."  
  
He winked, which caused me to laugh.  
  
"Yeah alright, I'll see. I don't think I have any plans."  
  
Suddenly I heard the doors to the yard open and shoes scrap the pavement. A gentleman dressed in a black suite walked up to us, immediately Bret and I stood.  
  
"Master Nonnigon, your parents seek your presence right away."  
  
My heart stopped and my breathe court in my throat. All this time I had been talking to the Nonagon's son. Why didn't he tell me? I just stood there, shock consuming me. He was a Nonagon. Oh how much shit am I going to be in if my Grandparents find out?!?  
  
"Ok, well it was nice to meet you Kate. I hope I see you tomorrow."  
  
Bret bowed slightly and took my hand and pressed his soft lips lightly on my knuckles for a light kiss goodbye.  
  
"Ye..eah, nice to meet you to." I stammered.  
  
He smiled lightly before leading the other guy inside.  
  
I stood there for sometime. My thoughts running over what he was like and how he was nothing like a Nonagon was expected to be like and also how deep in shit I would be in if my Grandparents found out.  
  
They don't like me mingling with higher class or guys in higher classes. Oh no, it was wrong and it would shame our family and shame the other guys more.  
  
I can't go to Draggers tomorrow what if my grandparents find out, but if I don't go and be rude as it was an invite. Or just a suggestion, but anyway if I don't turn up then it might give my Grandad a bad name and then he will find out and he would hurt me for not going.  
  
WHY IS LIFE SUCH A PAIN!  
  
I clutched my head in frustration. I started to feel sick again, my body started to feel weak. I opened my eyes just as my surrounds started to whiz, suddenly everything went black.......  
  
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~" Desolation, "~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~  
Wide open space,  
Between the trees and me,  
Emptiness and decisions,  
Feeling hard to define,  
  
Coldness seeps it's way in,  
I am falling deeper,  
Into what I fear most,  
As I reach out,  
There is nothing there,  
As possible there was something once,  
Only to be gone,  
  
The sun drops,  
The last inch of light falls,  
The squirrels more likely to be huddled up,  
But not me,  
Something I never possessed,  
  
The sun has gone,  
Darkness spreads its wings over me,  
I see nothing so no one sees me,  
Feeling of bitterness only,  
  
An owl peers down,  
With question in her eyes,  
She doesn't have a hope,  
In helping me,  
As she doesn't see my pain,  
Spreads her wings,  
Passes me by,  
  
The soft earth,  
Seems the only thing holding me up,  
Even then I can slip,  
And wondering takes me,  
To why and how I got here,  
Without even knowing it,  
Yet no one notices,  
As they didn't see before,  
  
Shimmering in the darkness,  
I see two moons,  
Reflecting off a stream of thoughts,  
Ongoing forever more,  
Along a rocky road,  
Slowly giving in to finding a way out,  
I take a plunge under the river,  
Then the wind carries a whisper,  
Gently on the breeze,  
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~" Just a little longer "~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~  
  
Hope you liked this chapter.......reviews are nice so please try to review and then I'll try my best to update really soon. Oh please forgive me for grammar or spelling errors..... : D  
  
*Huggs*  
  
Till next time 


	5. Chapter 5: Draggers

_**Author's notes**_ Sorry it's taken so long to update but I do more reading then writing and I've been held up……..but I hope you like this story and I dedicate it to Shibi my editor for my other stories.

So yeah, I edited this one by myself please excuse any grammatical, spelling, punctuation errors and the list goes on.

So enjoy the next chapter to 'Can I Ever Forgive You' and remember to review and read my bio page…….and please send me an e-mail to tell me if you want 'Unique' posted up….well on with the chapter….

Can I Ever Forgive You?

****

Part 5

My eyes slowly opened. Bitter, bright reality hit me hard. My head felt like ten trucks had run over it and my mouth was completely dry.

Slowly I regained my vision and I took in my surrounding.

Noise buzzed around my head as I looked vaguely around. I was laying down on one of the red sofas inside. People were walking by me as if I wasn't there.

I groaned. Grabbing my head as I slowly sat up. Dizziness swarmed me and I groaned again.

"Oh child, child, rest, you don't look so well."

A somewhat high pitched but soothing voice spoke.

I turned my head slowly just as a plump, red haired lady, with a stunning black dress on, sat down softly on the seat beside me. A glass of water extended out in her nicely manicured hand.

I took the glass of water with gratefulness and sculled it down in a un-lady like fashion. The cool liquid running down my parched, rough throat.

The plump lady chuckled lightly to herself, cause her three extra chins to wobble.

"I see that you're not doing to well. Would you like to stay with me for awhile, I have a nurse."

I looked at her shocked. No one had ever offered me help, but also I didn't know who this woman was.

She laughed and patted me on the back.

"So sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Mrs. Jacqueline Rosemary Quintin. I'm the dutchess of Devonshire."

My eyes widened with shock. The only person who ever looked twice at me was a dutchess.

"I thank you for your kindness, but I believe my grandparents won't approve."

This caused Jacqueline to break out into a fit of laughter.

"My dear, who wouldn't approve of you staying with me."

"True, but I'm confused Dutchess Quintin. For how come, you have all of a sudden decided to house me and give me a place in your home?"

"It is simple child, you remind me of when I was young. Careless, free, yet still tied down by the chains of the world and please dear, call me Jacqueline."

I smiled weakly. This lady was confusing. She was of high, high class, yet she still took the time to look down and help others below her. Her behaviour was one of a normal day person, but she speaks in an educated language.

"Jacqueline."

"Yes dear."

"How long do you plan for me to stay at your residence?"

"As long as you bid……"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dumped my heavy bags with a 'crash' on my new royal blue carpet.

My new bedroom was of expensive taste and was huge. No that's understating it, its MASSIVE! Ten times bigger then my other room.

Along one wall, half way along it, was a King sized bed. The dark purple, silk sheets were nicely tucked in.

Across on the other side was a large computer desk with what looked like expensive, top of the range computer gear. A cordless phone was mounted on the wall next to it.

Further along the wall was a huge built in wardrobe and close by was a single door that lead into the large bathroom with spa, shower and tub.

Opposite from where I was standing was a pair of large glass doors that opened up to look over the beautiful fields below.

I sighed in relief and flopped onto the bed. My body sinking slightly into the comfortable covers.

My grandparents had chucked a huge wobbly when they found out the dutchess had asked me to say with her.

They were madder that I even talked to her, but when Jacqueline came to my rescue and talked politely to them and asked if I could stay they reluctantly agreed.

But it was hell for me when I got home. Grandad had showed me how he felt.

I absent-mindedly lifted my hand to touch the large bruise on my right cheek.

A loud knock at the door brought me to my feet.

"Come in."

The door flew open and Jacqueline glided in, her beautiful red dress flowing a little behind her.

As soon as she made eye contact with me she frowned and hurried over to my side and placed her hand lightly on my face.

"My dear, where in gods name di you get that?!?"

She asked concerned as she stroked the bruise lightly. I cringed in pain and pulled away from her touch.

"Oh no where, I walked into a door."

I lied.

"Not one of my doors I hope."

"No, oh no, one at home."

Jacqueline laughed and smiled.

"Good, well we'll get that checked out soon by the nurse down stairs and then I believe that you're a teenager and you have places to be on this new bright and cheery morning."

My mind suddenly flicked to something and I gasped. I had said to the Bret that I'd meet up with him and his friends.

I lightly touched the bruise on my face again as I thought. It would be better to go then to aggravate my grandparents by not going.

"Dear, are you coming?"

I blinked a couple of times before looking up and smiling. Jacqueline was at the door waiting for me to follow her to the bottom floor of the house for an early morning tea.

I nodded lightly and followed quickly after her.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My shoes scrapped along the pavement as I shuffled closer to the Draggers.

Jacqueline said I was allowed to wear and do anything I wanted and she had kindly, much to my protest gone out and bought me a lot of new clothes.

She said that it wouldn't even tinge her credit card but I was still shocked at the price and stuff she got me.

I was wearing my new dark denim baggy pants, which sat low on my hips. I had a black spaghetti strapped, tank top on with a white jacket loosely over the top. On my feet was a pair of white skate shoes.

I was happy about my clothes but very nervous about going to the dinner. I thought that if I took longer that maybe they wouldn't be there when I got there.

I paused as I reached the bottom of the concrete stairs that lead up to the causal café/restaurant place. The bell twinkled as I opened the door.

There was red and white booths lining the walls and waitresses in skimpy gear ran around serving the hungry guys that sat at the table.

This place was known for all the dragsters that came here to eat. Hence the name, so it wasn't a shock that I found rows of performance cars out the front.

I looked around and caught a familiar glance of brown hair at a booth in the very corner. I sucked in a deep breath and started over to his table.

There were four other guys around him, all looking at the waitress who was leaning too far over for my liking.

I stopped beside the booth. Looking at the other guys. A wolf whistle came from the navy blue, dyed haired boy at the very back off the booth.

"Hey Mariam, I didn't know there was a new girl working here."

The purple/blue haired girl, who was leaning on the table, shot the cocky navy haired boy a glare. Before turning to face me.

"Hello, were would you like to sit?"

"She's sitting with us."

Bret spoke up, after hitting the Navy haired boy hard over the head.

"Righto then, well hi my names Mariam."

The purple/blue haired girl said, extending her arm to shake hands with me. She was of a skinny build, with long hair that was pulled up into a high ponytail. Two bangs were left hanging on each side of her face, framing her stunning emerald green eyes.

"And this is my brother Ozuma."

Mariam added, pointing to a guy sitting beside the cocky navy haired boy.

He was well built and good looking. He had short, spiked, black hair, with a streak of red down the middle. He also had matching emerald green eyes as his sister. He sat back in his seat looking vaguely interested with his surroundings.

"And this cocky bastard, is Kane."

She sneered, pointing the navy blue haired boy. He just winked and flashed a smile. Which earned him a punch in the arm from Ozuma.

"This is, Lee and Kai."

The name Kai rang a bell but I didn't take notice.

He was extremely good looking and had two blue shark fin style tattoos on each side off his face, from his jawbone.

He had two different colours of blue in his hair. Lighter blue at the front but dark blue at the back, his hair was long, but was set up messily.

His eyes were a burning colour of crimson and his body was build solid, but still looked great. He sat crossed armed in his seat, opposite Bret on the very edge. He didn't look very social.

Lee had black short spiked hair and golden coloured eyes. He was well toned and nice to look at. He seemed happy and cheerful, but not cocky as Kane is.

"And I guess you know Bret as he is the one that asked you to come right?"

I nodded lightly and smiled.

"So what's your name?"

"Oh sorry, the names Kate."

"Kitten, meow!!"

Kane said lifting his hands and doing tiger like claws.

I rolled my eyes and smiled as Mariam did the same.

"Well what would you like and I'll bring it over."

"Oh….arr….umm….a chocolate milkshake please."

Mariam smiled and winked at everyone before walking off.

I turned and looked at the very crowded booth. I frowned as I saw there was no way I could sit down.

Bret smiled as I looked at him.

"Yeah….umm…there's not much room."

He said, looking at the booth.

"Yeah I can see that, I'll go get a chair."

I said, making a move to grab a chair when a voice interjected.

"No, don't worry, just sit on Bret's lap, he won't mind."

Kane said, smirking evilly to himself as he scored a blush from both Bret and I.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"""""""" Life is a prison """""""""

Oh god let me out.

No one to listen,

To hear when you shout.

Climb the walls of insanity,

Ride the wave of despair.

If you fall it don't matter,

There's no one who cares.

Used to wish for a window,

To see birds, trees and sky.

But you're better without one-

Stops you aiming to high.

Watching freedom is painful,

For those locked away.

Seeing happiness,

Another price that you pay.

Strong is good, weak is bad.

Be it false, be it true.

Your mind makes the choice,

And enforces it too.

Cell walls built by society,

With rules to adhere.

If you breach the acceptable,

You had better beware.

Hide the pain, carry on,

Routine is the key.

Don't let it on that you're not,

What you're pretending to be.

Lock it all up inside you,

How badly that bodes.

Look out for the day,

When it all explodes.

Leaving naught but a shell,

Base functionality too.

But killing all else,

That was uniquely you.

So how do you grow,

With a time bomb inside?

Or how to defuse it,

Without destroying it's ride?

""""""" You can't """""""

Poem by Puff

www.netpoems.com

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okies people…….what do you think?????? Do you like it…..a little cliffy…….well please review…..Review and review…….leave a nice comment XD koolies…..well heres the disclaimer…..

I do not own the Beyblade characters or the poem at the end, but I do own the plot and story line, plus Bret and Kate, May and any of my own OC's

Till nex time

The Red Phoenix


	6. Chapter 6: Screaming in silence

****

Authors notes: _Ok…..I think I have made you wait for long enough……here is the continuation to the last chapter…….here we go oh and please excuse errors of any sort….XD Koolies……_

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 6

I laughed as Kane scored another hard punch in the arm from Ozuma, again. His fourth in the last five minutes.

Kane just didn't seem to get that flirting with Ozuma's sister, right in front of him, wasn't a good idea.

But Kane had succeeded, in getting me to sit on Bret's lap. So here I am, sitting comfortably, if I may say, on his legs.

Watching his group of friends. Who had warmed up to me quite quickly.

Kai's name was still tugging at something at the back of my mind, but I just shrugged it off. He wasn't very talkative, but said his part now and then. Either to tell Kane he was a dick or an idiot. Which was quite amusing.

Ozuma was happy to sit back and listen. But spoke up or used physical punishment against a certain someone, who was attempting to peer, down his sister's top.

Lee was bright and happy. He straightaway tried to get to know me. Defending me, along with Bret, when Kane said nasty, cocky shit.

Bret was talking to me and being really sweat, he had a cute smile that never left his face. He had one arm near each side of my body, kinda boxing me in and of 'cause Kane teased him about all of this.

"So anything else you guys need?"

Mariam asked, leaning over the table again.

I sipped away at my chocolate milkshake, my eyes wondering over the others. I smirked as Kane was leaning forward, once again trying to get a peek.

This time Mariam had, had enough.

"Will you stop trying to look down my top jerk-off. I'm getting very close to beating you up myself."

Kane blinked innocently at her and ignored the deadly glare Ozuma was giving him.

"Why, I'm not trying to look down your top Mariamo. I'm simply admiring those jugs."

He said cockily pointing to two water jugs behind her.

Mariam shrieked in frustration and leant over more. Staring Kane straight in the eye.

"Your lucky I'm on duty Mr, or I would be tearing you to pieces right now."

Kane smirked, happily. He was lucky she was on duty.

"But for my brother, I can't speak."

Mariam smiled as Kane's smirked was quickly replaced by a look of horror. He slowly turned to face Ozuma, as soon as he saw him he gulped.

Ozuma was red with rage and his knuckled were visible white as he gripped his glass tightly. Small cracks appearing around the drinking cup.

"Run Kane, Run, Run as fast as you can."

I taunted in a low, dark voice.

I laughed as it struck Kane. He literally scurried over the booth table and jumped onto the ground, before quickly dashing out of the diner.

Kai got up and let Ozuma quickly slide out of his spot and sprint after Kane. While cursing foal language, that went along the lines as 'cock-sucker and mother fucker.'

Everyone sent looks to each other before moving to get up to. I quickly slid of Bret's lap and laughed nervously as I ended up bum first on the floor.

Bret smiled and shook his head extending his arm out to help me up.

I quickly dusted off my jeans and followed them as they exited the diner.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had been walking around for sometime now, looking for Ozuma and Kane. The group then decided that the park was the next looking spot.

Bret was walking beside me, smiling and inching a little closer every time he thought I wasn't looking, which was bugging me.

I couldn't work out why he was getting closer. I finally thought that maybe he might be cold??

"Are you cold?"

I asked, turning to face him, as he had stepped a little closer.

I arched an eyebrow as a light blush crept across his face.

"Nah, I'm not."

"Ok then…."

I stopped walking and turned to him. He stopped and looked at me.

After a short time of silence he spoke.

"Well I'll go and ask Kai if he's seen Kane or Ozuma yet."

Bret quickly blurted out. Hurrying off to catch up with Kai and Lee who was a little way ahead.

My brow furrowed in confusion as I watch him walk off. He was confusing. I moved to start following when and hand from behind me grabbed my wrist tightly and spun me around.

I shrieked in fright, but cringed slightly at the painful grip on my small wrist.

I slowly looked up into the person's face.

When I saw who it was, a glare settled on my face.

"What do you want!"

I snapped. Ripping my hand away from his slightly loosened grip.

His now unoccupied hand ran through his sloppy job of spiked red hair.

"Kitten listen to me…..Please I'm begging you."

My eyes opened wide with shock. It's never Tala's style to say please or even BEG!

My shock was taken as an invite to talk by him.

"Kitten……you have to believe me when I say it wasn't me who drove May away. I can't stand it when you don't talk to me…….you don't know how much it's killing me."

I looked over his frame. He looked terrible.

He had dark bags under his eyes and his body looked skinnier and less built then usual. His hair looked like he hadn't even bothered to style it, which is extremely odd.

I frowned and turned to walk away. The sight of him made me sick in the stomach.

"Kate! Please."

His still stronger grip then mine snaked my wrist once again.

"TALA JUST LET GO OF ME!!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE OR EVEN TALK TO YOU!!!! WHAT PART OF GET OUT OF MY SIGHT HAVEN'T YOU GOT!!!"

I screamed at him. Trying to brake out of his grip.

He let go of my wrist and I looked up at him. His red puffy eyes, that tried to hold back tears that so wanted to be set free, looked back down at me.

"I'm braking Kate. I'm being swallowed whole. Why can't you see that?"

His sad voice murmured.

I stared coldly at him and was about to say something nasty back just as a voice cut in.

"Kate, is this guy bothering you!?!"

Bret walked up and placed a hand on my shoulder, glaring at Tala.

"No, he was just going."

I snapped, glancing at him before turning and walking off.

(Normal point of view)

Tala watched as Kate walked off with this brown haired guy.

His eyes dropped to the floor.

"I'm dieing Kitten. May left me too, not just you. I'm screaming inside…. Can't you HEAR ME!!"

(Kate point of view)

I heard a faint yell.

The birds around flew out of their trees as the noise echoed around the park.

The voice sounded torn and desperate, screaming in pain.

My insides felt sick, my heartstrings dragged to the bottom of my body. My head clouded and seemed to be invaded by a dark cloud.

I stumbled, falling forward.

A pair of arms snaked themselves around my waist. Stopping me from falling.

"Are you ok?"

Bret's smooth voice asked me. I stared at him before nodding lightly and stepping out of his arms.

"I think so…"

My eyes stared back down the path. They seamed drawn to the direction that the scream came from.

A single tear rolled down my cheek………………………………….

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

""""" **Slow Tears** """""

****

Owned and written by Martini

I look up

As a tear rolls slowly

Down my cheek

I think about better days

And wonder if I'll feel that way again

You look at me

With those eyes I know so well

Always serious, so deep and insightful

As though you're always in control

But not today

Not now

Now you look so scared

Like for once you don't have the answer

I gaze at you

Looking deep into those hazel eyes

Hoping to understand

Why you've said those things you did

I wonder for a moment

If this is all a dream

If I shall wake in the morning

And be relieved

You look at me

With a confusion I have never seen

Please pull me towards you

And wipe the tears from my cheek

""""" " """""

From http:netpoets.com

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so what do you think of this one???

Review please oh and don't skip the poem at the bottom it's very VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!

So yeah I hope you enjoyed this and leave your comment…….

It's becoming very deep but don't worry it will …….. I can't tell you XD well anyway review

I do not own the Beyblade characters or the poem at the end, but I do own the plot and story line, plus Bret and Kate, May and any of my own OC's

Until next time

The Red Phoenix


	7. Chapter 7: Song Of Souls

A/N: Well as you can see I'm starting this story again…. In between my Harry Potter one and 'Harder To Breathe' which I am plotting over what to do…. So here is the first chapter of many more to come XP Enjoy XD

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 7

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Bret asked again, as I walked kinda wonky beside him.

Forcing a smile on my face I nodded. It seemed the smile had been enough and he just nodded.

"As soon as we find Kane and Ozuma the sooner we are out of here."

He stated, looking around, trying to see if he could see Kai or Lee.

We had accidentally been separated from the rest of the gang, due to the interference before. Sighing I folded my arms across my chest, hugging myself tightly. Life just seemed a huge burden not worth carrying.

"Ah I see them."

Bret's outcry caused me to look up and smile slightly. In the distance I could see a group of four guys standing outside a music store.

"Thanks a lot."

Bret said, walking up to them.

"Oh sorry, we got side tracked, we found Ozuma beating up Kane. Then we decided to go look for you, but this store was just to powerful to resist a look."

Lee stated looking wanting-ly at the bass guitar behind the glass window.

I chuckled lightly as I noticed a dark bruise on Kane's left eye. He was staring evilly at Ozuma who was returning the look with a dark glare.

"I so want a new guitar."

Bret spoke up, looking into the shop.

I rose an eyebrow, I knew he played in a band but I didn't know which band and what he played.

Like he had read my mind Lee answered.

"Bret plays main guitar and vocalists. Me, I play bass guitar and back up vocalist. Kai plays the second guitar and Ozuma plays drums."

I glanced over to Kai who had his arms crossed. He was leaning against a wall looking vaguely interested in his surroundings.

"Wow, that's cool I would love to hear you play."

Bret smiled along with Lee.

"Yeah you should come to the garage some time and hang out on the couch while we strum some tunes."

I nodded, looking into the store to see hundreds of guitars lining the walls. Picks, strings and weird objects I hadn't even seen before.

"KANE!!"

A voice shrieked. Spinning around I saw a tall red haired girl running up to Kane. She wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.

I rose an eyebrow as I watched the two basically suck each other faces off. Wasn't Kane just flirting with Mariam?

When they both came up for air I could see a smile gracing Kane's lips. Not one of cockiness or being cheeky. One that fitted an emotion that I had never seen before.

"Hey babe."

He smoothed, wrapping an arm around the girl's waist.

The girl raised a perfect red eyebrow and whacked him playfully on the arm.

"I have a name you know……OH MY GOD! KANE YOUR EYE!"

She had just noticed the bruise on his eye, quickly nursing his sore. It was funny as she literally chased him around, as Kane refused for her to touch it.

"Salima leave it alone! I'm FINE!"

"Ok be that way."

Salima I guessed stopped and crossed her arms, pouting slightly. Turning her head away from Kane.

Her eyes landed on me and they widened.

"OMG I'm so sorry. I'm so rude. Hi I'm Salima."

She stated rushing over to me and shaking my hand quickly. I backed away from her and nursed my now sore hand.

"Hi I'm Katie, but you can call me Kate."

"Cool, nice to see some other chick hanging with this barbaric group of guys."

She smiled. Salima was tall and slender with light blue eyes. She was a little too cheerful for my liking, reminding of me of me before my parents had died.

* * *

We were all now walking down towards Lee's house; he had invited us all over for dinner. Salima was walking beside me, her arm looped un-wanting-ly around mine.

"So what school do you go to?"

She had been shooting questions at me continuously, that my head was starting to hurt.

"St Michael's Catholic College."

I replied slowly, glancing forward as the head of the group turned another corner.

"OMG that is just down the road from our school, about a 20 minute ride away."

"Really."

"Yeah, we go to Mary's Catholic High."

So they went there. It's another posh school, quite a rivalry between them and us.

"So you're the enemy."

I said sarcastically.

"Meh, yeah I guess so."

She laughed, pulling me up a pathway to a Japanese style house. I could see everyone's shoes' by the front veranda. An short, old lady with a broom slowly swept the wooden floors.

"Good Afternoon Obaasan"

Salima smiled at the bent over little lady. She continued to sweep the porch like nothing had been said.

Salima laughed and tapped the lady on the shoulder. The little lady turned around and smiled, saying something in Japanese.

"I'M FINE THANK YOU."

Salima shouted down at the old lady. Her wrinkles stretched a little as the old Grandma smiled.

"Good child."

She stated in English.

I left my shoes at the steps with Salima's as we walked into the house.

"Obaasan is quite deaf. She's getting close to the old mark."

I nodded and followed her silently.

"Lee and the others should be in his room."

We walked down various corridors that over looked a small courtyard with a small waterfall. Lovely pebbles and plants decorated it's surrounding.

Turning into another corridor, we slid a door open, revealing the guys kneeling around on the floor.

Lee's room was quite bare with a small table close to the floor and a desk with a few papers scattered around it. No bed in the room and the floor was made of the same seaweed material as the corridors.

A pair of doors lined one wall and that was about it.

"Hey, great that you guys could make it."

Kane spoke up, teasing Salima a little.

"Oh shut up Kane."

She snapped back.

I silently sat down next to Bret and leant against the wall.

He turned and smiled at me.

"Probably confused about Kane and Salima."

Actually to tell the truth I was. How could Kane look down a girl's top and flirt with another girl but go out with Salima at the same time.

I nodded lightly.

"Well Salima knows Kane is a flirt and she accepts it. But if she catches him, he's dead."

I smiled lightly; listening to the teasing fight Salima and Kane was having in the background.

"Oh just shut up."

The voice sliced through the air, instantly everyone went silent. I snapped my head to the side to look at Kai who was standing, leaning against a wall. His eyes opened slowly and he glared at Kane.

"Your bickering is annoying me."

"Fine, grumpy bum."

Kane replied, laying back on the ground, folding his arms behind his head and glaring at Kai.

I shook my head lightly and leant back against the wall, staring at the white ceiling. I seriously felt tired.

"I got such a great idea."

Lee blurted, sliding off his desk and walking over to a door. He opened it to reveal a rolled up mattress, electrical equipment, speakers and a pair of microphones.

He took out two portable speakers and placed them on his table, followed by the microphones. He walked back to the cupboard and fiddled around with a few switches before handing a mic to Bret, then one to me.

I looked at the microphone and raised an eyebrow.

"Your not expecting me to sing are you."

There was no way I'm going to sing, I wasn't in the mood and just…no.

"Bret, come on you have to practise anyway."

"Oh what ever dude."

Bret replied, I could see an amused smile tugging on his lips as Lee bugged me to sing, along with Salima and Kane.

"It's not funny."

I snapped at him.

"Oh I have to do it to. If I do it will you do it?"

I glared lightly at him as I was pulled to my feet. Bret took his sweet time getting up and standing beside me near the speakers.

"I hate you."

I growled softly, glancing over at him.

"I'll believe that when you mean it."

"I do."

He laughed loudly and clucked his stomach nearly buckling over onto the floor. I raised an eyebrow, what on earth was he laughing about.

But before I had a chance to ask Lee cut in.

"Bret come on, do you know broken by Seether?"

He asked me. I nodded, they were one of my favourite bands, how couldn't I.

I watched as Lee walked back over to the wardrobe, he twisted a few nobs before stepping back and taking a seat beside an amused Kane and excited Salima.

I glanced over at Bret who smiled warmly and raised the mic to his mouth as the music flowed out of the speakers.

His voice was smooth, reminding me of a professional singer. I felt that the words held meaning, touching me inside. He closed his eyes and swayed slightly getting into the feeling.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

I lifted the microphone and sang softly beside him, my voice travelling out of the speakers.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

I stopped, allowing Bret to sing his solo. His words creating mixed feeling inside. I battled internally with emotions that wanted to surface.

You're gonna win when you don't feel me any more

Closing my eyes, so that the tears that pricked my eyes wouldn't spill, I lifted the mic, singing my solo.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

I opened my eyes to see that Lee had stoped smiling and was staring at me. I looked at the ground and sang beside Bret again

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

We both lowered the microphones and looked at each other. Bret's warm eyes were mixed with wild emotions. A hint of hurt faced through his eyes, but before I could do anything our parts started again.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
**'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away**

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

I stopped and focused on Bret as he finished the song off.

You're going to win when you don't feel me any more

We both looked at each other. Emotions that were un-wanting-ly brought up during the song flashed through our eyes. I stared into his, our gazes never swaying from each other.

"Eh guys?"

Lee said, moving a hand rapidly before our eyes.

"What?"

I stuttered, blinking a couple of times. Forcing all emotions away.

"Bret you definitely have some competition, this girl can sing!"

Lee burst, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

I looked sadly at him, but it seemed he couldn't see it. May was a better singer then me, we use to sing everywhere, break out into song during class. The happy memories viciously tearing me up inside.

I looked over to Bret who I could see had a forced happy look on his face.

"Nah I'm still the best."

He joked.

I saw Salima jump up from her spot and in a flash she took a photo of us. Lee who had an arm around my shoulder, me with a half stunned look and Bret who had a fake smile on.

The photo printed out the bottom and she shook it.

"This is gonna be a good one."

She smiled.

"Welcome to the gang."

A small tear ran down my cheek, gang, how many memories that word brought back.

* * *

A/N: OMG what do you think…. Well it is the first chapter to many more so I will get back into the swing soon enough…I hope you liked it and please REVIEW!!


	8. Chapter 8: Bikes arg i hate them

A/N: I do not own the Beyblade characters from any of the Beyblade series…ok here is the next chapter…..R&R

* * *

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 8

A dark laugh escaped passed my lips as I staggered down the corridor to my bedroom. I felt tiny, small in a whole world of worries and troubles. I so needed to escape.

I lurched into the room; it's surrounds whizzing around me. My head felt light, but at the same time heavy with a dark cloud.

I stumbled to the bathroom door removing my garments as I went. My hand sliding across the tabletop near the entrance swiping a pair of scissors into my lose grip.

The hot water flowed quickly out of the showerhead, beating down hard on my bare skin. The water tore viscously at my flesh but I didn't feel it. My whole body was surged in numbness, darkness.

I adjusted the water to an acceptable temperature. Staring at the glinting object in my lose hand I slid down the tiled wall. Rising the scissors up I jabbed it into my thigh.

Pain immediately surged through my body, replacing my emptiness with a feeling of warmth. The warmth radiating from the thick crimson liquid which flowed interminably down my leg, before being washed quickly down the drain by the pounding water.

I ran my hand along my leg, smudging a racked pattern up my thigh. The black cloud in my head lifted, leaving me with a light headed feeling. Warmth tingling around my body, tugging at my brain. The pain messages getting lost in the dark memories that were pushed aside. I loved this feeling.

I'm free.

My eyes suddenly felt very heavy. I smiled a small smile before the warmth swept me away into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

A lady with short pixie blonde hair stood before me. She was surrounded by nothing, just pitch blackness, her body surrounded by a white glow.

A small smile graced her lips. A warm smile, one that felt so familiar, but at the same time lost. The darkness then swallowed her with a piercing scream.

Instantly a tall man with short, wavy black hair, laced with silvery grey stands appeared before me. A neutral expression on his young looking face. The look that I knew so well, there was no expression but I could feel deep down that that was a face of caring.

He opened his strong arms and stepped forward, I felt that I needed to be in his arms. Be embraced with the warmth that I so missed.

I ran forward, or what I thought was running. But every time I took a step it felt as if he was moving further and further away. His face disappearing into the shadows.

No one was left, just me. Surrounded by blackness that I didn't know, didn't recognise.

I collapsed onto the black floor, bringing my knees to my chest I sobbed. Not noticing that the shadows were gathering, ready to attack.

I looked up. My eyes widened with horror. I emitted a piercing scream.

* * *

My eyes shot open, instantly being stung by the shower water. Hissing I covered my eyes with my hand.

"Mother….Father…"

I whispered.

Lowering my hand, I stared at the white tiled floor, my mind wondering.

Shaking my head furiously to stop those memories, I struggled to pull myself up. Pain shooting up my leg. Pain which was now unbearable!

I screamed as I collapsed back against the tiles. My body shaking furiously, tears running uncontrollably down my cheeks.

Glaring at the tiles I pushed myself up, ignoring the increasing pain which raged around my body. I fumbled with the handles as I turned the water off.

Stumbling out of the shower tub, I grabbed a towel. Wrapping it tightly around my body, I slowly and unsteadily made my way to the bed.

Getting there was hell; the pain, which clawed at my body, brought fits of shakes to ripple along every limb. Creating a greater burst of pain.

I crumbled onto the black satin bed sheets. Giving into the hurt, I curled myself into a tight ball. Trying to fight away the dark demons, which lurked in my mind.

The fighting was making my mind and body extremely weak. I could not ward off anything any more. My body just gave in, suppressing me into a fearsome slumber until morning.

* * *

I craned my eyes open. The blinding sun from the open curtains blared down on me.

"What time is it?"

I asked myself, rolling with great difficulty over onto my side.

The little digital clock flashed 8.00am back at me. My mobile, which was sitting silently next to the clock vibrated, sliding slightly across the tabletop.

Groaning I struggled to sit up, grabbing the phone I flipped it open, accessing the message.

Hi Kitten, well ta gang & I hav practise this arvo

Do u wana com watch? Ring l8r Lee

Groaning I closed my phone, chucking it I watched as it went skidding along the bed, stopping just before the end.

I ran a hand through my knotting hair. Stopping as the bed started to vibrate and a melody floated through the air.

Hissing I moved and quickly grabbed my phone again, flipping it open.

"What"

I croaked into the phone.

"You ok? You sound like shit."

I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto the bed.

"Nice to know Bret."

I could hear him chuckle lightly on the other end.

"So, well, yeah did you get Lee's message?"

"Yeah I did."

"And?"

Sighing I looked down at my leg which was still stinging painfully.

"We'll see, I'm not in….well….a state to go anywhere now."

"Oh ok."

There was a knock at the door before it slowly opened and a maid walked in. She bowed then looked at me.

"Miss your grandparents are here."

"Thanks."

She turned and left quickly. Oh just great my grandparents. What do they want!?!

"Hey Bret."

"Yeah."

"When can you pick me up?"

"Arr, in 10 minutes if you want. Where do you live?"

"Staying at a friends house, well….."

I quickly told Bret the address and hung up.

It took a lot of will power to get myself over to my wardrobe to put some clothes on.

I pulled on a pair of baggy dark jeans, a black short sleeved t-shirt and a pair of white runner, plus a hoodie.

Slightly limping down the corridor I made my way down to the front dinning room.

Opening the large door I walked in.

Apon entry I saw my Grandparents sitting around the table, Grandad talking politely to Jacqueline who looked mildly bored.

She shifted her gaze and a bright smile graced her lips. Grandad turned and a frown embedded it's self on his, while Grandma stayed neutral.

"Ah my dear you're here."

Jacqueline stated, getting up from her seat and quickly walking over to me.

"It's a good thing to."

She uttered under her breath as she kissed my cheeks lightly in Good Morning.

I couldn't help but smile, she had away of seeing through people's shells and I could tell she could see right through my grandparents.

"Your grandparents wanted to speak to you."

Jacqueline said as she straightened up.

"Let's hope it's quick."

Jacqueline whispered again.

She turned and walked back to her seat, taking a tiny sip from her porcelain teacup as she sat.

I looked at my Grandparents as I took a seat to the left of Jacqueline at the table. Grandad was sitting to her right and Grandma next to him.

"We came to see how you were fairing."

Grandad stated taking a sip of his coffee.

It took all my strength not to roll my eyes, what ever.

"And why would you be worried about how she is fairing in my house? Are you doubting my capabilities?"

Jacqueline cut in; her voice was sharp, signalling that she was offended.

"He didn't mean to offend you Ms. Jacqueline, he has bad selection of words. He just wanted to know how she was going."

My Grandmother answered, covering up my Grandad's slip of the tongue.

"I am sorry."

Grandad added. I stared at him in shock, he had said sorry! A word that I believed didn't exist in his vocabulary.

"Fine, I see."

Jacqueline replied taking another sip of her tea.

"Well, how are you doing?"

I lifted my head from looking at the plate of food, which had just been placed in front of me.

Forcing a smile on my face I looked at them.

"I'm doing great. Jacqueline has been extremely kind and I wish that I lived here with her."

Jacqueline smiled at this and watched intently, as Grandad's expression grew dark.

"It's a pity that that won't happen."

He sneered, his eyes narrowing.

"True darling, but she can dream."

Grandma butted in joyfully.

"Dreaming can be a lively thing."

Jacqueline shot in, looking wearily at my Grandparents.

I dropped my gaze to my plate as they talked about dreaming.

I dreaded my dreams. They weren't actually dreams, they were more like night mares. Haunting my every thought, bringing memories that brought strong feelings. Hurt was the only word I could link with dreams. Pain and sorrow, dreams were for the time I could actually dream. When someone is there to ward off the unwanted nightmares.

"Miss... Miss. Jefferson."

I looked up at the voice, which had broken through my thoughts.

It was the maid again; she was standing at the door with her head bowed looking at the floor.

"Georgia dear, please be one of us."

I heard Jacqueline say, Georgia lifted her head and looked me in the eyes.

"There is a young man here, who says he's here to pick you up."

Finally, I thought as I looked over to Jacqueline.

"Who is this boy!!"

I heard Grandad snap. I looked over to him to find out, he wasn't talking to me, but to the maid.

"I believe he called himself Master Bret Nonnigon, sir."

The maid mumbled back.

"Does my ears deceive me."

My Grandmother shrieked.

"Stop."

I heard Jacqueline shout.

"I won't accept you talking to Georgia that way Mr. Jefferson and please, no half prep screams in my home. Kate you may go and have fun with Mr. Nonnigon, but be home by a reasonable hour."

I nodded my head and quickly left the room.

I could feel the deadly glares from my Grandparents burning into my back. Oh great this was going to be fun when I had to go home.

As fast as I could I went back to my room and packed a backpack with things that I would need for the day. I also did myself up so I didn't look a wreck; I brushed my hair and placed some light make up on.

I walked back down to the front hall; the black bag slung over one shoulder.

"You actually don't look bad."

Bret smirked as I walked over to him.

"Wow, thanks."

I said sarcastically as I looked around for his car.

"Did you walk?"

"No, I parked out at the front gate."

Bret answered, indicating to the large black gates down the driveway.

"Ok."

We walked down the gravel. My leg was cramping with pain, causing me to hiss every now and then.

"You ok?"

Bret asked, as I leant over and rubbed my leg.

"Yeah I'll be fine, as soon as we get going, the sooner I don't have to walk."

Bret smiled as we reached the open gate. I rose an eyebrow, as I still couldn't see his car.

"Where is the car?"

I asked.

"Who said anything about a car."

I turned just as Bret swung his leg over a motorcycle, which was parked on the edge of the curb.

"OH HELL NO!"

I shouted throwing my hands up into the air.

Bret chuckled and put his helmet on, buckling it up.

"Oh don't be like that, anyway my car had to be serviced today."

"Is that what you say to every girl you make ride that thing."

I grumbled, snatching the silver helmet, which he had held out to me.

"No, not exactly."

I growled and slid onto the back of the silver and red striped motorbike, it looked like a Kawasaki ZX 9R Ninja 1994. Probably cause it had the words written all over it and because I had seen in before in one of the mags I read.

Bret turned, his midnight blue helmet had a picture of a black wolf on the back. He slapped down his visor and smiled at me.

"Hold on."

I wrapped my arms around his stomach and held on as the bike screeched out over the curve and down the road.

I screamed as Bret zigzagged through the heavy traffic on the freeway. But my screams of fear were soon replaced with wops of joy.

"I see you're enjoying yourself."

Bret shouted so I could hear him.

"Kind of."

I shouted back.

I felt his chest shake as he laughed.

"Hey."

I growled, squeezing him tighter then needed, causing him to cough.

Suddenly the bike jerked forward, I watched the dial as it went from 100 to 120 km/h. I could hear the wind whipping passed my helmet.

"Bret!"

I screamed at him as the speed increased and he weaved through the traffic.

* * *

"WHERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME"

I screamed, but I was out of breath. Puffing I sat down on the front lawn of his…. Estate really.

Unbuckling my helmet I chucked it away from me, watching his amused face with anger.

"What's so funny!"

I snapped at him, glaring as he took his helmet off and placed it on his bike which was parked just out front of their double door garage.

"Oh nothing."

He smiled.

Suddenly I heard a rumble as five motorbikes and a car pulled up the driveway.

"Oh great more insane people who drive bloody motorbikes."

I grumbled standing up and watched as they dismounted. I released that there were some of them I didn't know.

I recognised Kai as he removed his black phoenix decorated helmet. He was dressed in a pair of dark pants and a white tank top with a black shirt opened over the top. He placed his helmet on a black Kawasaki ZX 10R Ninja.

Ozuma pulled his red flame covered helmet off and placed it on his red and black Kawasaki ZX 10R Ninja also. He was wearing a semi-tight black t-shirt and heavy black jeans, a thin leather band was around his neck and his hair was spiked up, with the red strip visible.

Lee dismounted his silver/grey Kawasaki ZZR 600. Tucking his black leopard covered helmet under his arm. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a loose white t-shirt. His wrists were wrapped in white cloth and his black hair was spiked.

Kane nearly fell over as he jumped off his navy blue Anlage Honda VTR1000 SP1. He slammed his dark purple helmet onto the seat. Crossing his arms angrily over his chest. He was wearing a loose brown t-shirt and baggy light denim pants.

But then their was another dude on a Kawasaki ZX 12R. It was a metallic aqua blue with lighter looking pale blue rips painted on it. He was wearing a loose white shirt, over the top of a black pair of denim pants. The shirt was undone a couple of buttons, exposing the silver chain he wore underneath. He had a black leather jacket on over his shirt, while his head was still covered by a black skull covered helmet.

"Talk to me!"

Kane growled kicking his bike.

"Dude don't do that."

The guy said moving over to Kane

"Tell me what's wrong with it, I could only get up to 80 km/h, when I can get up to twice that."

"You need a new chain mate, it's to lose."

"Hitoshi don't tell me that."

Kane moaned, squatting down next to the guy.

Hitoshi I presumed removed his helmet and placed it on Kane's motorbike seat.

He has messy navy blue hair which was all over the place, the long parts were pulled back into a loose low ponytail. His eyes were a dark shade or brown nearly copper red looking. He looked to be a year or two older then the other guys.

He was fiddling with the bike chain when the doors to the car opened, it was a pink Honda Civic, which had a silver GT wing on the boot and custom made body skirts.

"I mean it Salima, if you poke one hole in my leather seats, it's your head."

I recognised that voice and low and behold Mariam stepped out, her hair swaying as she slammed the driver's side door.

Quickly Salima got out the other side and ran up to her.

"How in the world am I going to poke a hole, in leather seats, with a nail file!"

"Easy, with the pointy end!"

Mariam snapped like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"With this pointy end!"

Salima shouted pulling a nail file out of her purse and holding it up.

Mariam growled loudly and snatched the nail file out of Salima's hand, throwing it over her shoulder.

"Hey, that was my last one!"

Salima shrieked as Mariam walked over to her brother.

"Girls, calm down."

Bret shouted as he walked over to the group of people. I closely followed, chuckling lightly to myself.

Mariam leant against Ozuma's bike and just scoffed.

"What, I didn't do anything."

Salima shrieked again, waving her hands around.

"Oh hi Kate."

Salima suddenly just changed, walking quickly over to me. I slowly backed away she was scaring me.

"Salima, go tend to your boyfriend."

Kai snapped, glaring at Salima.

Salima just pouted and walked over to Kane who kissed her and gave Kai the rude finger. I mouthed 'thank you' to Kai but he just snorted.

"Charming."

I grumbled to myself.

"Oi Kate come over here, I have to introduce you to Hitoshi."

I looked up at Bret, who was standing beside Kane's bike. Slowly I walked over to them.

"Hitoshi."

Hitoshi looked up from his squatting position on the ground, where he was fiddling with Kane's bike.

"Hitoshi this is Kate."

Hitoshi stood up, he was at least a head and a half taller then me, but he had a warm, kind smile spread across his face.

"Nice to meet you."

He said extending his hand, I was about to shake it but he pulled it back.

"Sorry."

He smiled, pulling a rag out from under his top, which was tucked loosely into the top of his pants and wiped all the chain grease off his hands. He chucked the rag to one side when he was done and shook my hand.

"You to."

I smiled.

"Hitoshi is the keyboard player in our band and also manager."

"Yeah for when we actually make something of ourselves."

Hitoshi laughed.

"Oh it's nice to see everyone here, would you please come in side"

Everyone turned to see a tall lady standing by the front stairs, her hair pulled firmly back into a high ponytail.

"We were going to practise in the garage Mum."

Bret replied walking closer to the lady.

"Well then hurry up and stop blocking the driveway."

"Yes mum."

Bret replied. He turned and smiled to all of us.

"Come on guys, let's start."

Bret waved us in.

"First time you have heard us play."

Hitoshi said as he walked beside me.

"Yeah."

I nodded my head.

"Well you're in for a treat then."

He smiled and we walked through the front door.

* * *

A/N: Thankyou to all the people who have reviewed and this chapter is longer just for you…..so until nex time I update….here is this chapter……in the nex one we hear the band play XD koolies review


	9. Chapter 9: Unwanted arrivals

A/N: I do not own the Beyblade characters from any of the Beyblade series…ok here is the next chapter…..R&R

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 9

Sighing I flopped down onto the worn couch. In front of me, the guys were setting up the band equipment. Mariam and Salima were spread out on the floor, sitting conformably on beanbags.

Shifting I stretched out, hogging the whole sofa. I stared up at the grey concrete ceiling of the garage, which was more like a basement.

The sofa I was laying on was close to the door, probably positioned like that so the guys could run in, jump over it and land in a seat.

The band floor was in front of me, cords running everywhere and quality speakers lined the walls, along with stacks and stacks of CD's. This room reminded me much of a grunge teenager's room, but that's what I liked about it. It felt warm and inviting.

I lifted my arms, stretching out once again. My top unnoticeable rode up, exposing my cream white, flat belly.

Rolling over I watched as Bret strummed a few notes on his guitar and said a few words into the microphone.

"Thank you, we know we rule."

He said, nodding his head lightly.

Salima squealed loudly and clapped her hands. I just rolled my eyes.

Hitoshi was plugging in his keyboard, looking up at Kane who was pressing a key once in awhile to see if it was working.

Kai plugged in his guitar and turned the volume on the amp up, before strumming some tunes.

Ozuma was lightly drumming on his drum kit, practising flicking up the drumsticks and catching them again and might I add, with great difficulty.

Lee was flicking through a cd stack, smiling brightly he picked one up and walked over to a filing cabinet, opening it he sorted through it before pulling out some sheets of paper. He placed them in front of everyone, before plugging his base guitar in.

"You guys nearly ready?"

"Yeah, done."

Hitoshi said getting up from the floor and pushed Kane out of his seat. Kane growled and sat down next to Salima.

"You got you music, so Ozuma can you give us the basic beat."

Bret said, looking over at his sheet.

Ozuma nodded and started tapping the drums.

Everyone bobbed their head lightly, getting into the beat. Hitoshi started playing a few notes and then everyone started to play.

The acoustics sounded good, all their was left was the lyrics. Bret leaned in and grabbed the mic.

******Well there's this feeling I get**

******When I'm not feeling my best**

******And there's nothing that can make it go away**

******As I can't do just a little I get**

******Stuck in the middle**

******Of my own private ground hog day **

******Even though I know that I'm gonna regret it all tomorrow**

******I will let the sorrow fall where it may**

******At least until.... **

******The morning after, the night before**

******When I don't think that I could hate myself any more**

******Such a simple thing, yet I can't comprehend**

******Why I keep making the same mistakes, over and over again **

******Well this cell that I built**

******For myself and my guilt**

******Keeps me safe until my next escape**

******And there's no use denying**

******I'm in need of supplying**

******I gotta get my hands on something I can take **

******Even though I know I'm gonna regret it all tomorrow**

******I will let the sorrow fall where it may**

******At least until... **

******The morning after, the night before**

******When I don't think I could hate myself any more**

******Such a simple thing, yet I can't comprehend**

******Why I keep making the same mistakes, over and over again**

******Over and over again**

******I will let the sorrow fall where it may **

******All my sincere intent**

******Ends up turning to lament**

******Cause I don't know when it's time to stop**

******At least until... **

******The morning after, the night before**

******When I don't think I could hate myself any more**

******Such a simple thing, yet I can't comprehend**

******Why I keep making the same mistakes, over and over again **

******The morning after, the night before**

******The morning after, the night before**

******The morning after, the night before**

******The morning after, the night before**

******Why I keep making the same mistakes, over and over again**

**The morning after, the night before**I couldn't help but clap alone with Kane, Mariam and Salima.

"Wow, that was really good."

Bret smiled and turned to Lee.

"Do we have anything else to play?"

* * *

About 4 songs later I was still hogging the couch, kicking Kane with the leg that wasn't giving me hell, as he tried to steal my space away from me. 

"Fuck off and get your own chair."

I growled at him.

"You're hogging the whole bloody sofa, you're not that fat are you!?!"

He snapped, grabbing my legs and moving them to one side. Automatically causing me to kick him in the back.

"Aww. OH FOR GODS SAKE!! I GIVE UP ON THIS WITCH"

I crackled wickedly.

Kane growled and returned to sitting beside Salima. Figuring he had given up I returned my legs to their original position, but with great difficulty as pain caused my muscles to give way.

"You would think that you two, have known each other for a long time, by the way you're acting."

Hitoshi smiled, resting on his keyboard.

"If we had, she would be dead by now."

Kane hissed.

"Wanna bet."

I hissed back.

Kane turned and glared at me. Rolling my eyes I layed back down on the sofa.

Everyone went quite as we heard the doors at the top of the stairs open and footsteps moving down towards the basement/garage.

I heard the door behind me open; I watched everyone's faces as they looked at the door.

"Hey dude."

Kai said, placing his guitar down.

"Hey, I came to see how you guys were going."

I knew that voice.

Slowly siting up I looked over the back of the couch, what my eyes landed on made me frown.

Tala's red hair was spiked up, he looked a little better then he did last time I had seen him.

"Oh, hi Kitten."

He said, smiling a small sad smile.

"Don't call me that."

I stated.

"I better get going."

I shot.

Rolling over I quickly stood up. My leg because of the sudden movement crumbled in pain, sending me to the floor with a painful yelp.

"Kate you ok?"

Bret asked as he quickly came to my side, helping me up on one side.

"Kitten."

Tala whispered as he helped my up by my other arm.

"I'm fine!"

I snapped, pushing Tala roughly off my arm, sending him back a couple of steps.

"I'm fine."

I said again this time a lot softer as I shrugged Bret away.

Walking slowly I grabbed my black bag and flung in onto my shoulder before moving as fast as I could up the stairs.

* * *

I sat down on the front steps of the house, staring out at the vast stretch of land that made up Bret's front yard. Kicking the gravel with my foot I dropped my head into my hands. 

"You ok?"

Bret asked as he sat beside me, placing a comforting hand on my back.

I shook my head, tears forming at the corners of my eyes.

"May I ask what's wrong?"

"No."

I mumbled, looking up slowly into his strange coloured eyes, which always seemed to hold such emotion.

"Kitten."

For once I didn't correct him for calling me that, because, well, it just felt right coming from his mouth.

"Can you take me home, please."

I looked back down at my feet before pulling my bag up onto my shoulder.

"Please."

I stood up silently and walked down the last few stairs, picking up the silver helmet on the grass I slid it on and clasped it up. My mind swaying over how Tala always reminded me of the times that had been taken away from me, by him and by fate.

Glancing back at Bret I saw him watching me, his eyes had turned a deeper green. Shifting slightly under his gaze I moved towards his bike, sliding into the seat I sat there, staring at the keys as they moved slowly in the light breeze.

"Fine, yeah, I'll take you home."

Bret said softly as he pulled his helmet on, sliding silently onto the bike. He flipped the stand up and switched the ignition on.

Quietly I slid forward, pressing myself up against him, accepting the warmth from his back; I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head on his back.

I needed support and right now Bret was the best option, his warm body reminded me of what life was like before everything terrible wrong had happened.

I closed my eyes as the bike jerked forward and drove down the driveway.

I opened them as we turned out onto the road. Just in time to see the faint figure of Tala standing on the steps of the mansion. Closing my eyes once again, I allowed the tears that were locked up flow down my cheeks.

* * *

Bret stopped the bike out the front, siting up straight he forced me to move out of my comfortable position. 

"Here you are."

He stated. I could feel his voice rumble through his back.

"Thank you."

I murmured. Sliding off the bike I silently unclipped the helmet, I moved to hand it back to him but he just shook his head.

"You keep it, don't know when next you'll be taking a trip on a bike."

I smiled slightly.

"Thanks for a fun morning, I did enjoy it."

Bret smiled and nodded.

"It's no probs, it was nice to have you around anyway."

"Pff what ever."

I smiled, rolling my eyes.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow."

I rose an eyebrow, tomorrow? Tomorrow was a school day, how could he see me?

"Just bring your helmet to school tomorrow k."

I nodded lightly, but I was still confused.

"Ok then, see you round."

"Yeah, bye."

I watched as Bret took off down the drive way and out of sight.

I turned around and walked slowly back into the house. Tomorrow was going to be another long day.

* * *

A/N: Two reviews, TWO!

X brakes down crying X

two!

X sobs X

well thank you very very very much to those people who did review……you know what I can mention them as there is ONLY TWO!!!

X pulls file out, blows the dust off the cover X

I want to send my thanks…..and lollies out to x1nfernal……nice to know you love my story XD I feel so proud XP

I also want to thank my best bud The-Dark-Fire-Elf who is nice to review every time XP thank you, thank you, thank you

X hugs X

Well as you can see this chapter is shorter then the other, actually four pages shorter!! You know why!! I feel so upset

X goes into withdrawal X

X stands up and looks at screen X

so the next chapter will be up some days after this one and this is when the plot starts to thicken and the climax of this story is coming very shortly maybe after another 5 chapters…..hmmm….you probably can't guess….

X crackles evilly X

well you could guess but maybe it won't be accurate cause it has quite a big twist and well basically a BANG!!! WOW factor and OH HOLY SHIT NO!!! well yeah XD

So you have to wait….well now please….for me…press the pretty purple under this and review XD

Until nex time

Red


	10. Chapter 10: Hidden Secrets

A/N: I do not own the Beyblade characters from any of the Beyblade series…ok here is the next chapter…..R&R

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 10

OMG 10th **XP**

* * *

I pushed back my blonde hair as I waited at the front gates.

School had been the same. It had dragged on and on, never seeming to get close to the end, but now it had.

So now I'm waiting at the large iron gates and I have to say, I don't know why.

Looking back on the grounds my eyes scanned the crowds of students as they made their way home, many were still just hanging on the grass, chatting and other small groups were playing football or soccer.

Sighing I racked my mind for the reason why I was standing here. Then it came to me.

I was standing here waiting for May, like I usually did every other day after school before she left.

Dropping my head I lifted up the silver helmet in my hand and stared into it, my blurred refection appearing before me.

Blinking rapidly so the tears wouldn't escape I moved to leave but a body walked roughly passed me, stopping me dead. I looked up angrily as the person continued walking.

"Bryan."

I said sadly as he turned his head and glared at me. A glare that was cold and uninviting, he turned back around and kept on walking with his tall blonde friend Spencer.

I moved and hugged myself tightly, leaning against the brick column next to the gate.

A loud sound of engines caused me to look up, just as a group of bikes pulled up on the road in front of the school.

I recognised them, the bikes and the helmets. It was Bret and his friends.

But now there was one other bike, a silver yellow and black striped Kawasaki ZX9R. The rider had a shark-covered helmet on, but the purple/navy blue hair gave Mariam away.

Salima was siting close behind Kane on his motorbike.

Smiling, I know knew why Bret had asked me to take my helmet to school.

I walked over to him, soaking in how good he looked in his school uniform, which consisted of a white shirt with black tie and black blazer, which had unmistakably his school emblem and name sown onto it. He also had on black pants with black runners.

"Wanna lift?"

He asked smiling, placing his helmet under his arm as he looked at me.

"I brought this didn't I."

I smiled back, showing him the helmet in my hand.

"But do you think your school mates will be happy about it though."

I rose an eyebrow and looked at him to find he was looking behind me at the school.

Slowly I turned around and found that everyone out the front had stoped and were now watching us. I could see them whispering to each other and the tough guys of the school looked like they wanted a fight.

"Hmm well you are the enemy, but, hey, I'm a rebel."

I giggled, quickly putting on my helmet and much to my school mates disgust and outrage I slide onto the back of Bret's bike, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Our little rebel."

Ozuma shouted, he seemed very amused.

Bret laughed and placed his helmet on. He reeved the engine a couple of times before taking off. I watched the looks on my schoolmates' faces, the anger. I just laughed, in the crowd I could see Max, Mariah and Robert.

I waved at them. Max and Robert waved slowly back, but Mariah just frowned, god she was going to have a lot to talk about now.

Smiling slightly to myself I concentrated on my grip around Bret as we turned the corner.

* * *

I looked to my left as Lee pulled up beside us.

"Where are we heading?"

I yelled.

"To the beach."

He yelled back.

"Bret, I don't have any bathers on me."

"I know, we are making a pit stop at your house before we meet the others there."

He yelled back. I nodded just as we turned down my street. I turned my head and watched the other bikes continue ahead.

Bret stopped the bike and I jumped off. Running through the front door I quickly told the maid to tell Jacqueline that I was heading to the beach and wouldn't be home before dark.

Running up the stairs to my room, I quickly pulled my school clothes off and pulled on a black bikini.

Looking in the mirror I noticed the large heeling gashes on my upper legs, cringing I decided to wear knee long, black and hot pink boardies.

I pulled on a black shirt that had hot pink writing across the front that read Galas.

I grabbed a towel and spare clothes, emptying out my black bag I shoved the clothes and towel in before heading back down stairs.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and noticed that Bret was standing there, now in black and white knee long boardies, with a cream white casual t-shirt over the top.

"Thought I should get changed here, instead of at the beach."

Nodding I followed him out the front door and mounted the motorbike again, pulling the helmets back on we set of to the beach.

It had been a while since I had been to beach. Feeling the lovely grains of sand press between my toes, the warm water, or watch the breath taking sun set. I felt actually quite excited and to spend it with my new…….friends. I smiled at that word, friends.

I looked up at the sky as the motorbike increased speed.

* * *

I smiled as the beach came into view over the hill. The long expanse of water which glistened under the bright sun, could make anyone's heart feel enlightened a tad.

Bret pulled up beside a row of bikes. I could already hear the squealing of Salima, who I could guess by the sound of splashing water, was being picked on.

We walked up the slope and over the other side onto the white sand, the glistening water only meters away.

Mariam was sun baking on one of the towels, which were lined up in a row. I walked over and sat beside her.

"So you going in for a dip?"

I asked her, looking over.

"Nah, don't like to swim in the sea. Never know what's below."

Mariam smiled, pushing her sunnies higher up on her nose.

"Riight."

I quickly jumped up and ran down to the water, wadding through the cool substance before diving below.

The liquid surrounded me as I spiralled down. Touching the sand below I pushed up, going into a handstand. My legs braking the waters surface.

Smiling I resurfaced, my blonde hair plastered to my forehead. The refreshing beads of water trickled down my face and neck.

I looked over and saw Bret had joined Ozuma, Kane and Kai in football. Laughing as Kane tripped Ozuma, I pulled myself up near the dry sand. Lying there I watched the guys, happy to soak in the sun, fresh air and water.

My eyes slowly started to close as I drifted away in the calmness, but a cold gush of water on my face caused me to bolt up right and glare into Lee's golden eyes.

"Not funny."

I splattered, spitting out the salt water.

"To whom."

He laughed, sitting down beside me with a splash. Causing a wave of water to hit me in the face again.

"Lee."

I growled, side glaring at him.

He was wearing a pair of black boardies, exposing his well-built and toned upper body.

He just laughed at me and stood up, walking back up the beach to the towels. Growling again, I stood up, following him back over to the towels.

I dumped myself back beside Mariam who had by now turned herself over.

"Where is Kane and Salima?"

I asked releasing that Hitoshi had taken Kane's spot in the football match, which Lee was now umpiring.

"You don't wanna know."

She said simply, raising her head to give me a look over the top of her sunglasses.

"Oh."

I said, wishing now that I hadn't asked.

Yawning I layed back down on the towel, folding my arms behind my head so I could admire the white puffy clouds as they slowly breezed by.

* * *

I cracked up laughing as Bret told me another funny thing that Kane had done once.

"Kane is a dip stick isn't he."

"Yeah he is."

Bret replied.

The sun was now going down, casting an orange and red glow over the sea and in the sky. Small white clouds still lined the now orange coloured mass, while small ships that were anchored out far lined the outer reaches of the sea.

The others had gone to the café strip near the shore, looking for a place to have dinner. Bret and I decided to have one last walk along the shore before we had to go back.

"You know what."

I said, stopping to look at him.

"What?"

Bret replied, stopping to look back at me.

"You haven't even been in the water."

"Yeah."

He said softly, looking away.

"Come on."

I smiled grabbing his hand and running down to the water, I let go and jumped in. Water sprayed up and droplets landed on my face.

I slowly turned around to see Bret standing there, still fully clothed, looking blankly at me.

"Bret?"

"Yeah."

"Why won't you come in?"

I asked, slowly wadding back into shore.

"Nothing."

He muttered.

"Come on, tell me. Why?"

"I just don't want to."

He said quite sternly.

"All you have to do is take your top off and jump in."

I smiled, leaning forward to touch his arm, but accidentally I touched the side of his stomach instead. Bret instantly flinched away with a hiss.

"Bret?"

I asked, this time I was quite concerned.

"What's wrong."

"Nothing."

He muttered.

"Bret, let me see."

I replied. I didn't like this, I had a bad feeling and I wanted to know.

Bret just moved away.

"Bret."

I said again. I took a hold of his arms and held him still, I looked into his eyes and frowned.

"Bret let me see, what's wrong?"

I could tell by his expression that concern was blazing brightly in my eyes.

"Fine."

He finally said, casting his eyes to the ground he lifted his shirt up.

What I saw instantly made me cringe, it was horrible.

"Bret."

I said sadly.

Large long bruises run over his body, one was across his stomach, another over his chest, not counting the few along his back.

Stepping forward I slowly ran a hand over the bruise that was over his chest, his muscles rippled under my touch and Bret hissed slightly in pain.

"Sorry."

I shot, pulling my hand quickly away.

"My father has made it quite clear about what he doesn't like, and his teaching tool is a steal pole."

Bret muttered, dropping his shirt back down.

"But how couldn't I notice? You were just playing football."

"You might have noticed, I didn't put myself into a position to be tackled."

I lowered my eyes as I did remember him not participating as much.

"But that's brutal, that's evil, can't you do anything? He can't just… do that!"

I shouted looking back up at him.

"He can and he will. If I report him, he will just slim his way out of it, like he does with everything."

"Bret, I... I..."

"Don't, it's ok, I deal with it. You know, you're the only one I have told…you can't tell anyone…you promise, for some reason I trust you."

"Yeah, I promise. But….Bret."

"Yeah."

"I'm here ok, if you need me."

Bret smiled sadly and nodded.

"I know you are, you know Kitten."

"Yeah…"

A smiled spread across Bret's lips which caused my to become very confused.

"I'm hungry."

I smiled and nodded, I walked beside him all the way up to the café strip my mind running over what just happened and how I couldn't have seen it!

He must deal with it by pretending it's not there, which is probably why he's always happy, well nearly always. His Dad is probably a mean old bugger like my grandparents.

"You know what, we're not very different."

I mouthed out my thoughts softly with out realising.

"What?"

Bret asked, turning to me.

"Oh it's nothing, lets just eat."

* * *

We walked into an Italian restaurant just as the last rays of light set over the sea. Looking around I spotted the familiar heads sitting at a table, all busily chatting about god knows what, but they looked like they were having a good time.

"Hey guys, what you order?"

I smiled, sitting down in one of the spare chairs beside Hitoshi, Bret sitting beside me.

"Pizza!"

Kane smiled, licking his lips in anticipation.

I rolled my eyes and laughed as Hitoshi muttered something under his breath that went along the lines of 'thinks with his bloody stomach.'

A scowl crept over Kane's face as he glared at Hitoshi.

"Oh just get over it."

Mariam growled, smiling as the plates of pizzas were placed down in front of us. I looked over to Bret who smiled and grabbed apiece, he took a bite and glanced over to me. We exchanged a look of knowing before continuing.

* * *

**Mixed and Matched**

**Parts from Tears by NJ Belopotosky**

**Parts from What do they Know by Tima Chavis**

_I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside_

_They see only happiness, they can't see the tears I've cried_

_When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well_

_In front of watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell_

_Laughing. Laughing. At my jokes. Screaming. Crying. Inside of me_

_Having fun with my friends. Streams of tears drip down my heart_

Green Webbing and Pink Ribbons

Copy Right of Dennis Heflin

_I am finished_

_They have caught me in their green web of hate_

_And I am suspended here, lonely_

_Here I sit_

_Sitting in their pretty blue room with their pretty white smile in their pretty pink ribbons_

_The blue room is my cell_

_The smile is my cracked and wretched teeth_

_The pink ribbons are my tattered clothes which cover my scarred body_

_And in their world I sit_

_Bound in their green web of hate, and bearing their pretty pink ribbon, as_

_I die_

_My own death_

* * *

**A/N:**

OMG I have gotten so many reviews this time

X brakes down crying X

Thank you, thank you!! I feel so special…. Nice to know that people like my story XD

Ok…. I would like to thank XP

Yumeko: I know Tala is hot **X drools X **I find him hot……But if she forgives him right now it ruins the part in the end…you just have to wait and see……but I promise it will be good XP But Tala and Kate can't get together because……Oh I can't tell you it will spoil things……Just wait and find out k XD

ButterCup: **X laughs and scratches back of head nervously X** you don't have to go that far to say sorry, it's alright you did review now XD I forgive you HEAPS!! XP well here is this chapter so I hope you like it

**Sumi-chan The Great** KILL TALA OO……………… **X cough X** I can't do that XD because it would ruin things…you'll see…..XP but it's nice to see that you think my story kicks arse…. You know what it's the first time anyone has described my story like that XD it rocs…. Thanks and hope you enjoyed this chapter

**x1nfernal**XD thank you again for reviewing XP tiz nice……yes I feel sorry for tala too but it will get better in the end XD hope you liked this chapter and I'm looking forward for another review from ya

Kayura99: XD OMG that is sooo cool that you like my story…. I have been told that by some people that my stories are original and have surprising twists XP…. Oh it's soo kool XP that you like mine and we may see what has happened between Kate and Tala…. But you'll just have to wait and see really XD cause I don't want to spoil it for you….well hope you liked this chapter

**Weffie**XD nice to know….. And here is this chapter for you…. Hope you enjoyed it XP

**The-Dark-Fire-Elf**Saving the best for last XD **X blushes X** I can't out do my mentor and person who introduced me to the fabulous world of Fanfiction….. we have our own style of writing and we rock!! Totally I love your stories they're so good XP **X bows X** well I hope you liked this chapter… talk to you later

So yeah….well the plot has started to thicken with the news of Bret's abusive father and from now on it just gets darker and deeper with a surprise that changes everything XD we'll you'll see….thank you for now and please XP review

Until Next Tim

XRedX


	11. Chapter 11: Silence, Emptiness and Confu...

A/N: I do not own the Beyblade characters from any of the Beyblade series…ok here is the next chapter…..R&R

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 11

Bret stopped the bike out the front of the steps, which lead up to the front door. I slide of the bike silently, removing my helmet I gave him a warm smile.

"It's going to be ok, it'll get better."

I said softly.

"I hope so."

He smiled sadly back.

"I'll see you around then."

"Yeah."

I waved goodbye as his bike disappeared out the gate.

It seemed that I wasn't the only one living through hell. For once I actually felt normal, equal in someway with my feelings.

I quickly and quietly opened the front door and slipped in, today was ok, but tomorrow was going to be a whole different story.

I moaned and ran a hand through my still damp hair. Everyone at school tomorrow would probably have something to say.

I opened the door to the bedroom and walked in.

* * *

I walked silently down the semi empty corridor of the school, drumming my fingers on the wall and doors as I walked by.

Looking up from my feet I noticed a huge poster pasted on the notice board. I strode over and looked at it.

ROCK PUNK

What: A rock concert preformed by the raw talent of our town

Where: On the South Beach Reserve

When: 12pm – 12am on the 21ST of Saturday

So bring a date, bring ya friends and party all day and night with talent from our town, if you want to enter yourself/band please ring for information on:

0221893564

ENJOY IT'S FREE

Only have to pay for food and drinks

"Great another concert."

Rolling my eyes, I knew that my friends would force me to go.

I turned and began my long journey again towards the cupboard room.

I opened the glass-panelled door and slide in, instantly landing eyes on Ray, Mariah and Max. They all looked up at me, a look of disapproval running clear through Mariah's features.

"Great."

I hissed to myself walking straight for the assigned cupboard.

"Please explain what we saw yesterday."

Mariah's voice sliced through the awkward silence, I shoved the last book into my bag before slowly turning around.

Ray was leaning back casually, his eyes glued on me. Max looked like he was waiting for an answer. Mariah abruptly stood up, causing her stool to fall to the floor with a loud 'BANG'.

"Well!?!"

She hissed.

"Mariah calm down."

Ray soothed, grabbing her wrist.

"Shut it Ray, I have a right to know."

Ray closed his mouth and stared up at his girlfriend, who was seeing red.

"It's none of your business."

I growled out.

"It is."

Mariah's tone dropped and so did her eyes. She stared at the ground, seeming to muse over something.

"You seem so distant, we don't even recognise you any more, you have changed. You seem to get skinnier ever week and you're becoming paler.

I looked up at her. Maybe it was true. I hadn't been eating as much as I usually did, usually only dinner and that wasn't much. But for paler I didn't know why.

"I have to agree with that Kitten, I don't even know you any more. I didn't know about those people yesterday, I didn't know that you weren't in your Grandparents house any more, I found out when I tried to ring you."

Max said softly. His eyes had become a murky pale blue as emotions ran free.

"Well I'm sorry. I really didn't think about that, but you usually ring me on the mobile anyway. And for those guys yesterday, they are my friends and for me, I feel fine, maybe I'm just getting skinner cause I'm doing sport. Mariah my life isn't one for you to worry about, let me deal with it myself."

I lied a little, glaring slightly at them.

Mariah's flashing orbs rested on me again as she advanced forward.

"I know you're lying Kitten and I don't like it."

"It's nothing, why don't you just let it drop."

"I thought you told me everything, I thought we were friends."

"We are."

I said softly, wondering what she was poking at.

"You're hiding things, something's happening and I don't like it."

Mariah advanced closer, staring at me.

"Nothing's happening and I'm not hiding anything from you."

"What about those people, those so called friends, what about them."

"I don't have to tell you about them, they don't concern you."

"What about you fucking McGregor! Was that nothing!"

I could see Max's eyes widened in surprise. Mariah had probably been sitting on this awhile and it just came out now. Ray nearly fell off his chair as he dropped back forward and stared at me in surprise.

I started to see red, why would I have told that to her anyway, she would have blabbered it to the whole school that way. The looks from my friend's faces in the background just made the thin hold on my anger just snap.

"It's not like you haven't fucked him either Mariah, you said he was quite good."

I clamped my hands over my mouth, as what I said registered in my mind. Mariah stepped back in horror; she whipped around to look at Ray who looked far beyond angry.

"McGregor?"

He hissed, glaring at Mariah.

"It was nothing, it was before we were even going out."

Mariah spoke softly, inching towards her boyfriend.

"McGregor! You did it with that prick! What in the ninth grade, we started dating in the tenth end of the ninth."

"Yeah, well it was a wild party and we were quite drunk…Ray."

She whispered looking over at her boyfriend who was now on his feet and was angrily walking towards the door.

What had I done! I looked sadly at the ground as Ray twirled around, roughly pulled Mariah's hand off his arm.

"Don't you dare touch me!"

He snapped.

"RAY!"

She wailed, watching as he disappeared out the door.

"What have you done! I told you that that was nothing! Why!"

I looked up as tears started streaming down her face.

"Mariah…I…I'm"

"Oh save it bitch! I don't want you're apologies! I want my boyfriend."

Mariah sobbed. She turned sharply and ran out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

"Kitten, what's up with you? You have changed."

Max whispered, looking sadly up at me.

"Max… I haven't changed. Just life is…. Never mind."

"Kitten."

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

"When you are ready to come back to us, please do."

I closed my eyes as to hold back the tears so badly wanting to be set free. I heard the door open and then close with a soft click as Max left.

"Why is my life so bad!? Why do I stuff up?!? Why has everyone abandoned me???"

The tears silently rolled down my face as I left the room, shoving the many bodies that were now crowding the corridor out of my way.

I ran as fast as I could towards the stairs, where I began to climb, heading to a place were I knew I could find shelter and help.

I pushed the door that lead to the roof roughly open, my eyes darted around as I tried to find him.

"Robert."

I sobbed; looking at all the tables until the familiar body appeared at the end table, staring out over the school.

"Robert."

I whispered standing next to him.

His eyes shifted sideways, those warm red/brown eyes looking up at me from his sitting position.

"Kitten?"

He whispered in surprise.

"What's wrong."

"Oh Robert."

I cried, dropping myself into his arms, burying my head into his shoulder.

"I stuffed up big time, why does life hate me!?!"

The fabric of his school shirt muffled my voice as I continued to sob.

"No one hates you."

He soothed, pulling my legs up into his lap before wrapping his arms around my body and rocking slightly.

"Yes they do!"

I felt like a small child crying into her father's warm arms. But Robert did have that feel about him, being a surrogate father to any one that needed one.

"What makes you say that?"

I sniffed lightly as I roughly pulled his shirt material into my hands, clinging on not wanting to let go.

"I accidentally said something that made Ray really upset with Mariah and now they have split up…. And it's my entire fault.

"Well you didn't mean to upset them did you?

He said, continuing to rock back and forward, unfazed by the fact that I had two tight fists full of his shirt.

"No, but Max is upset with me, he thinks I'm excluding him, the school hates me cause I'm friends with a gang of MCH guys and…."

I so felt like pouring all my problems out on him, but that wouldn't be right, another soul would then be burdened and I couldn't do that to Robert.

"Hush…. Max is probably just up set because you are spending more time with the other guys instead of him. The school doesn't hate you; there are many people here who have friends at MCH. They are more just in shock that you so openly showed it."

"I wish I could believe that, but I don't truly think that is the case."

I managed to say in between the sobs, which consumed my body.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I believe you have to fix yourself before you try to tackle your life."

I felt a finger under my chin as Robert pulled my face up so he could look at me. He wiped away my finished tears from my face and smiled warmly.

"Cause you don't look to well Kitten."

I sniffled and let go of shirt. I slid off his lap and stood up. Looking sadly down at him.

"I wish everything was that simple Robert, I truly do, I wish everything would go back to the way they were. With May here, with Mariah and Ray in each other's arms, with my parents still alive, with Bryan still my boyfriend, with my Grandparents out of my life, it was joyful back then, but not now."

I muttered, new tears threatening to spill.

"Oh Kate."

Robert sighed, a sad heavy sigh as he ran a hand through his mused hair.

"I wish things were like that again to, but things happen and sometimes the bad things end up to be good in the end."

"How can anything bad in the end be good."

I unmeaningly snapped.

"You think about it, think long and hard Kitten. Something's wouldn't have happened to you if things hadn't gone this way."

Robert stood up and cupped my face in his warm hands. He smiled lightly and took my hand, pressing a light kiss on my knuckles.

"Think about it."

Was all he said before turning around and walking away, back through the door and out of sight.

Thoughts were running a million miles an hour through my head, bad memories, horrific scenes, thoughts, words, images. I screamed in frustration and held my head.

I didn't want to remember!

I didn't want to look back and think what good had happened!

I was sent to my Grandparents who treated me like shit, May left, Bryan dumped me, Tala stubbed me in the back and now I was upsetting everyone close to me. What good was there!

New tears trickled down my already tear stained face as I pulled my mobile out of my pocket. My tears fell and wet the number pad as I found the number I wanted, pressing the button I held the phone up to my ear.

It rang and I mentally wished the person would pick up, the sound of the cell being accepted answered my prayers.

"Hello."

"Bret."

I croaked, sobs racking my body again.

"Kitten? Is that you? Are you all right? What's wrong?"

"I'm…I'm fine…coul…could…you…ple..please pick me up?"

I cried, as I walked over to the door I had just came through. Walking down the stairs to the now deserted corridor.

"Yeah, I'll come straight away, are you at school?"

"Yeah I am."

I could here Ozuma in the background and Lee asking what was going on.

"I'll come straight away ok."

"Thanks."

I sobbed again as I pulled my bag on and headed for the front door. I heard his cell phone cut out, I closed my phone and placed it back in my pocket.

I sprinted to the front doors as to avoid the wave of students as they went to their next class. I didn't want to see any body now.

I stood on the front steps, looking around just in case one of the teachers showed.

Fiddling with my shirt as the old tears dropped and created small wet patches. I wanted to escape again. I need to.

I looked up trying to see if Bret was there yet, but I saw nothing.

Shaking my head I slowly sat down on the cold, grey stone, step, pulling my knees to my chest I wrapped my arms around my knees.

Footsteps behind me caused my head to whip around. I stared up at the person before quickly returning to my original position.

"I have no time for this."

I growled, staring ahead at the driveway hoping Bret would show any second.

"Kitten, you can't stay angry at me forever, especially when I haven't done anything."

Tala said as he sat un-wanted-ly beside me.

"Oh just get lost."

I said turning my head away.

"There is something I want to tell you, it's about…"

"Save it!"

I snapped, cutting him off.

Listening to him just brought back painful memories that I didn't want.

"But it is about…"

"Save it!"

I snapped again, standing abruptly up as I saw Bret pull into the driveway, quickly driving up to me on his bike.

"I don't want to hear from you."

I growled, walking quickly over to Bret.

"You ok?"

He asked, handing me a helmet, which looked much like Lee's.

"I'll feel much better as soon as we get out of here."

I quickly pulled the helmet on and slid onto the back of the bike.

Bret just nodded in approval and reeved the engine, taking quickly off.

"Take me home please."

I said, wrapping my arms tightly around Bret.

"Ok."

I glanced back at Tala as he watched me leave.

"You ok?"

"I dunno."

I stared forward, watching as the many houses passed by.

* * *

**Silence, Emptiness and Confusion**

By Bek

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl

It feeds on the loneliness and creates a void

Gray shadows haunt in torment and torture

A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here

The little one has thrown in the towel today

Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul

It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman

In this girl, this child where hollows have bred

A deepening sea of nowhere-ness consumes

And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her

Leaving nothing considered worthy remains

Alone, exiled, different and distained

* * *

**A/N:**

Well what do you think??? Do you like?? It's getting a little bit more interesting…. I wonder what Tala was trying to tell her???… Well I know and you have to wait til the next chapter XD….well thank you all to those who reviewed and please review again XP

Until nex tim

Red


	12. Chapter 12: Darkened Escape

A/N: Hi guys…. Well I don't own Beyblades or the characters linked to it. I don't own the poems at the end of every chapter unless stated otherwise. I own my characters.... Bret, May, Kate and the others that aren't from any Beyblade series… I own the plot and story line as it was my very creative juices that came up with it XP… well so yeah R&R

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 12

I watched as the dark shadows on the road whipped by, each seeming to hold their own little piece of trouble.

Why has life decided to turn on me?

Why do I muck up everything?

Why do I ruin everyone else's life?

Is life even worth living?

Why did May leave?

Why can't my parents come back?

Why? Why! Why! WHY!

Vicious thoughts ripped through my mind as Bret continued to drive, weaving in between cars.

I didn't even register that we had stopped until Bret shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"Are you ok Kitten? Seriously you don't look to good."

Bret asked, worry apparent in his tone.

"It's nothing."

I muttered sliding slowly off the bike.

"It doesn't look like it, do you wanna go do something?"

I shock my head and handed him back Lee's helmet.

"You have school."

"Yeah, well that doesn't really matter, if you want to do something we can."

"I don't feel like doing anything, but thankyou for the offer."

I forced a small smile onto my face before turning and slowly making my way up the stairs.

"Thankyou Bret."

I said softly, turning slightly to look at him. I could see worry and concern running through his eyes.

"Anytime."

He smiled.

I nodded lightly and turned back around proceeding to climb the stairs to the front door.

I opened the door, the sound of Bret leaving rang through the air as I closed the door behind me.

Now that I was along I started to crumble. Tears like a new wave of despair washed over me and I broke, I fell back and slide down the wall.

Cupping my face in my hands as I sobbed, my shoulders shook furiously as I sat there. Absorbed in my sorrows.

I slowly lifted my head and with great difficulty pulled myself to my feet. I made my way to the stairs and started to climb, dragging my bag behind me.

The paintings, which lined the walls, didn't look cheerful any more. They looked more like blank faces laughing at me.

Tears streamed down my face as I pushed my door open, stumbling I fell to the floor. I layed their in a sprawled heap on the carpet.

'Have you ever wanted to die when you were without your friends?'

'Haven't you said goodbye to the one who your life depends?'

A soft voice whispered hauntingly in the back of my mind.

"Why? Why? Why leave me?"

'Could it be that I don't wanna save you anymore?'

'Could it be that we don't have what it takes?'

The haunting voice whispered through my mind again.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I screamed, quickly stumbling to my feet.

I raced over to my desk and fumbled around as I searched for any sharp object.

'Take it away 'cause I don't like this anymore

'Take it away and throw it away!'

"Get out of my head! Am I going mad!"

I screamed, finally finding something that looked good enough.

'I dunno, you tell me!'

I quickly walked over to the bed and sat on the end.

I placed the sharp object on the top of my thigh. Pushing it lightly in, I smiled slightly as I pulled it down in a straight line, instantly drawing a thick line of crimson blood.

I smiled in satisfaction, as all thoughts, voices, were drowned out of my head. Replaced with a fussy, warm feeling, tingling through my body and veins.

I dropped back onto the sheets and closed my eyes, getting lost, losing all feeling, drifting away into a world of now worries or fears.

* * *

The harsh sound of knocking rang through my ears, causing the unpleasant feeling of doubt, self displease and many nasty thoughts to come back to me all at once.

"Leave me alone."

I whispered hopelessly. Pulling my legs to my chest, I closed myself into a tight ball, trying to block myself off to the world, but like that was going to happen.

The knocking continued, but this time I could hear the doorknob being turned and the creaking as the door opened slowly.

"Miss? Ah Miss!"

I continued to lay on the bed in a ball, my back facing the maid as she continued her futile attempts of getting me to communicate with her.

After a short while of her continuing to say 'Miss, Miss' over and over again, she finally gave up and stated what she had come to say.

"There is a young gentlemen down stairs, he says he needs to speak to you, he says it is quite important."

I groaned and stayed still, staring ahead, out the window and at the blue sky that looked so far away from my world and me.

"Shall I send him away or shall I tell him you will be down shortly."

I shifted my eyes to my knees, I didn't feel like seeing anyone, I didn't feel like talking, but… I had to see them and I could easily send them away.

"I'll be down shortly."

I spoke, my voice harsh and bitter.

"Alright."

The maid said as she turned and left the room.

I stayed in my ball for a while before moving painfully into a sitting position, hissing I stood up.

Walking out through the doors I roughly grabbed a tissue, soaking the now thin line of blood up off my upper leg.

I made my way slowly down the stairs to the front door. I grasped the brass handle and quickly opened the door, being instantly faced with the back of a very familiar red head.

My automatic groan triggered him to slowly turn around, a glum, half-exhausted face turned and looked at me. His strange unnatural sky blue looking eyes were slightly dull and looked tired.

"I haven't come here to fight."

He stated, taking a step closer.

I just rolled my eyes and glared at him.

"I have nothing to say to you, I don't even know why you dare to come close to me."

I seethed, narrowing my eyes.

"Why can't you just let me talk?"

Tala asked, standing still, staring at me with wild emotions swirling in his eyes.

"Because I know that what you have to say is nothing of importance."

I snapped stepping back, I was getting tired of looking at him and in my physical state I didn't know what I was going to do if the situation got out of hand.

"Kitten…"

He said softly, placing his hand on the door so I couldn't shut it.

"Just hear me out."

I just looked at him, moving to try to close the door again.

"May contacted me Kate, she contacted me."

Instantly when I heard her name I froze.

She had contacted him, HIM! Out of all people, the person that hurt her, the person that made her go! HIM!

"Really, I don't believe you."

I snapped, slamming the door in his face.

Why him? Why not me? What had I done? Was I the reason she left? No! It was Tala, I was told it was him! It was him! But why had she contacted him instead of me? I don't understand.

Thoughts buzzed through my head at a million miles an hour. May, why had she contacted him!

I was utterly speechless! I was shocked! I slowly turned around and ran up the stairs back to my bedroom. I flung the door open and ran to the bed.

I dived on it and instantly buried my head in one of the fluffy pillows, my sobs muffled by the silky material and feathers.

"Why him? Why? Why not me? Him…"

I slowed down my crying and rolled onto my back, staring at the white ceiling.

Images of May and I laughing and the time when we picked on Johnny flooded in front of me. A small smile graced my lips before it was replaced with a sad frown as the recent events crashed back onto me.

"Why?…"

I looked over at the window, the light fluffy clouds outside making odd shapes on the now darker light blue.

For some strange reason it due me in, I slowly got up and walked over to the sill. Staring down at the driveway below.

My heart dragged as I saw Tala still standing there, staring up at the house, his mobile now limply placed in his hand as he returned his arm to his side.

"Leave…"

I whispered to myself.

Tala looked up at the window I was standing at.

I moved to the side and peered around the side of the curtain at him, it looked like he hadn't seen me. He just continued to stare before slowly turning around and walking away towards his car, which I could see, parked down near the front gates.

I tore my gaze away at the pathetic sole below and stared ahead at the blank wall across the room. Who am I calling pathetic, the most pathetic person here is me.

The sound of my mobile humming across the tabletop and the melody ringing into the air brought me out of my depressing thoughts.

I walked quickly over to it, flipping the lid open I read the message.

**Kitten, I didnt get 2 tell u everytin**

**as I can c u hav set ur mind 2 not**

**talkin 2 me. But all I wanted 2 say**

**was 2 chek ur e-mails.**

**It will clear the air alittle and **

**explain things.**

**XX Wolf**

"Tala."

I hissed, reading his preferred nickname that May and I gave him.

E-mail? I hadn't checked my e-mails in ages but why would I want to check my e-mai…..

Then something inside clicked, I whipped around and basically ran towards the computer. I jumped into the chair and pressed the on button.

The computer beeped to register that it had been turned on, the formatting information slowly printing it's self on the screen.

"Hurry up you stupid piece of…ah ha."

The screen appeared with that stupid lightning sound that it always comes up with when it boots. I quickly scooted the curser over the Internet button and clicked on it.

The screen appeared and I typed in the address, my e-mail instantly being brought up onto the screen.

95 e-mails but only one I am looking for. Junk, Junk, Junk, Junk, Max, Junk, Old Ray, Robert…

The next name made all the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

May…

I clicked on the link to open the e-mail, the words slowly being brought up on screen.

I sat there for awhile, just staring at the screen, not reading the e-mail but slowly registering that May had sent me an e-mail and I was stupid enough not to check my e-mails often.

21st Mon

It was only a day old, it wasn't that long ago.

Hey Kitten,

I know I went away with out saying anything and not contacting you but I needed time to think things over and the best way to do things…

Well I'm ready and I want to tell you everything, I want to come back.

So, yeah, well I'll be at the Rock Punk concert singing with my cousin's band, we had this organised from the start so I can't weave my way out of this…

Well so if you want to see me then I'll see you there and I'll tell you everything…

If you don't come then I'll know that you don't want me in your life anymore and I'll disappear forever… so well I hope to see you there

The darkness hides everything, Mi

(May)

I don't know how many times I kept reading over that e-mail before it finally soaked in… Explain everything, I already knew what happened couldn't she just come back.

Of cause I am going to come, how could she ever think I didn't want her to be in my life! She is basically my backbone!

I shut the screen down after reading over it a couple of more times. I got up slowly and like a brainless zombie walked over to my bed and layed down. I stared blankly ahead at the wall near the window. It was a true emotion over load for me I didn't know what to do.

My face had no emotion but tears were streaming down my face. I was confused, angry and upset all at the same time and I didn't know how to cope.

* * *

The last three days went by painfully slow. Mariah and Ray have made up, I guess that is a good thing, but Mariah isn't talking to me.

Max is avoiding me, Robert hasn't been at school as he has been on a holiday and is getting back… about now.

But everything had been eating at me, I admit I have dropped more weight now and is close to looking like a stick, my face is pale and I've been in an extremely foal mood to close friends.

I dunno I just haven't coped well with this weeks facts and outs, it has emotionally and physically drained me.

I've hurt myself nearly every night trying to escape this nightmare I'm living. It's still eating at me why May contacted Tala instead of me. Least tomorrow I will see her.

Ozuma hit the drums hard, braking me viciously out of my thoughts.

"Ozuma!"

I snapped, glaring at him.

"What!?!"

He said, smiling sheepishly and flipping his drum sticks catching them perfectly.

It is now Friday afternoon and I've been forced to come and watch Bret and his Band practise for their gig tomorrow night at the concert.

"You are hopeless."

I hissed, crossing my arms angrily over my chest as I layed stretched out on the couch again. It had started to become my usual spot when ever I came.

"Oh we know."

Hitoshi smiled, chucking a music file at Ozuma. Ozuma glared back at Hitoshi before throwing one of his drumsticks, hitting Hitoshi straight on the forehead.

I rolled my eyes as Salima burst out laughing, while Hitoshi and Ozuma glared daggers at each other.

"You ok Kate?"

Bret asked, sitting beside me.

"Fine."

I shot back, avoiding his gaze.

"Are you sure, you have been acting weird this week."

"I've been just peachy ok and I don't think you can judge how I feel without being me."

"I was just asking… Seriously Kitten are you ok?"

"Don't call me kitten and I told you before I'm fine."

I seethed, shooting a glare at him.

"I thought I could call you kitten as we are close friends now right? Or have I mistaken you."

"Maybe so."

"Kate are you ok? Seriously this is not like you."

I dunno I was on the verge of exploding, my temper reached a peak as I felt Bret's comforting hand rest on my shoulder.

"Kate…"

"Don't you touch me!"

I suddenly just exploded, my feelings venting through this sudden angry out burst.

"Don't you ever touch me! Just leave me the hell alone! Leave me alone!"

I shouted quickly standing up and running up the stairs, slamming the door at the top.

I could hear the muffled voice of Hitoshi asking what he had done, followed by Lee asking if I was ok.

I just stood there in the entrance hallway, staring blankly at the door as if waiting for it to open and swallow me whole.

The faint sound of footsteps climbing stairs grew louder as Bret appeared from the door beside me. I turned slowly and looked at him.

No emotions in my eyes, just a blank lifeless look.

One of those looks, only a person who believes that their life in nothing contains, a look, those people who have lived hell can only hold and emit from their being.

Those looks, which can make any joyful person be swallowed up by depression and spat out again in a howling mass of darkness.

"Kitten… you're scaring me… are you ok… you can tell me anything… I told you."

Bret's soothing words didn't seem to penetrate my hard casing of hatred, hatred to nearly anything.

"Cause you told me doesn't mean I have to tell you… Your problems are your own… deal with them."

My voice was toneless, just one steal cold sentence.

I looked blankly at him before proceeding to the front door. As I opened it I could hear Bret's painful murmur from the spot he was still standing in.

"That was harsh Kate, just harsh."

My face stayed stone like. My whole body the same emotionless zombie. But my brain a complete jumble. Many thoughts whizzed around, feelings, reasons, a complete huge mass of non-connecting beliefs.

I closed the door silently behind me before walking down the driveway and out the gate.

I continued to walk, to where…

I don't know, just away…

Trying to leave all my troubles behind…

I need to leave…

Just leave…

If they won't leave me alone I'll just leave them…

I moved my feet silently, not even thinking, just staring ahead.

**Devoid**

By someone on Netpoets

The serrated edge digs into my skin  
Let the hurt wash over me  
Kiss the cuts upon your arms  
Shiny red, against stark white  
Make all your pain, just go away.  
Entrapped in this world of misery and fear  
Alone we stand  
Together, apart  
Wanting, needing, knowing  
But devoid of having  
Crying inside, screaming for help  
Blank smiles cover all, they think you're fine  
I see through your hardened shell  
I feel your desperation  
Can you feel mine?

* * *

Hidden

By me….random I know

Void,

Empty,

Dead,

Lifeless,

Screaming,

Silence,

It's there,

Can't you see it,

It's her…

* * *

A/N: Heyo dudes so wadya think?? It's very heavy right now and the nex chapter is the concert where everything happens… hehehehe and the big twist is revealed… oh I know mwahahahaha… well thanks to those people who reviewed… which is:

x1nfernal: I know her life is really messed and it just got worse… just great L but it does get better… I promise… hehehe… well hope you liked this one in someway even though it's sad…

The-Dark-Fire-Elf: Hello missy… by the way loved ur updated chapter sorry haven't had time to review but now I do XP so will now… but thank you for reviewing

And guess what that was all the reviews WHAT HAPPENED!!! Did I offend some1??

Well fine then... well thanks again and please review XD I like them a lot... they rox

Until nex tim

Red


	13. Chapter 13: Uncertainty

A/N: Hi guys…. Well I don't own Beyblades or the characters linked to it. I don't own the poems at the end of every chapter unless stated otherwise. I own my characters.... Bret, May, Kate and the others that aren't from any Beyblade series… I own the plot and story line as it was my very creative juices that came up with it XP… well so yeah R&R

Guys please I know but please read the song lyrics they player a major part to the story line… and yeah… well they are annoying and make the story take longer to read but if you don't you miss out on some hints ok… well enjoy..

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 13

The burning sun found it's way through the minutest gap between my heavy closed curtains. Casting a dim ere light throughout the spacious bedroom.

I sat with my back against the foot of the bed, staring ahead, my eyes glued to the back of the sofa as I slowly rocked back and forth. My knees were drawn to my chest and my arms were wrapped tightly around them.

Numb.

That's all I felt.

Nothing else pasted through my body, not a thought not a feeling, I felt hollow and empty!

My friends were gone.

I had pushed Bret far away, with words that I could never take back. Hurtful, spiteful, words that would have struck him at the core. No one can ever take words like that back, not me not anyone and it was my fault.

I continued to stare ahead, the sofa back just happening to be there. My mind was heavy with guilt, pain and sheer emptiness. Thoughts now slowly started to leek into my mind.

What had I done?!?

What was I doing!?!

What was I?!?

I had ruined everyone's lives, dragging them down with my own piety existence.

The rest I could find no answer to, it was true WHAT was I doing?? WHAT was I?? I was nothing…

Eyes still fixed ahead, I slowly unwound my arms from my knees and allowed my legs to slide down, spread out on the soft carpet floor.

Taking a deep saddened breath I looked over to the clock, 11:54am. I was going to be late, but I really didn't care.

I just felt like being swallowed up into a never-ending pit, to drown in a pool of black hate, to drift away on a piecing scream of pain to a world or place which I knew would still give me no peace.

But here, right now, I was a muddle of messed up feelings, there was no way I would find peace, not with what I am.

I took another deep, rugged breath, before hauling myself onto my attacked legs.

I feel satisfaction when I slice into my skin; the deserved pain that gives my body warmth, which takes me on a journey that sets me free.

I feel accomplishment when I look apon the thin red marks on my legs. They are wounds that echo my inner pain, they are my passage to peace at last, I know I will never go all the way and find true peace, as I'm too scared.

It never occurs to me what people might think if they found out, probably horrified, they wouldn't know what to do, they wouldn't understand…

But do I……

Stumbling I walked over to the darkened ensuite door, pushing all thoughts to the back of my head, I had to focus on just getting ready.

Throwing the door open I walked in, discarding my various night garments onto the white tiled floor.

Slowly and painfully I stepping into the shower, quickly turning the tap around.

Water gushed out of the showerhead like a waterfall and pelted down onto my red and torn skin, washing away most of the evidence from the previous nights doings off my legs.

The water didn't seem to wash away the invisible filth that covered my body like a thick coat of mud.

Taking the soap I scrubbed my arms and body attempting to get rid of the feeling, the icky dirty feeling of guilt, sadness, darkness, and loneliness.

My skin was spotless, red raw, with the hard scrubbing I had done trying to rid the feeling from my body, but I still felt filthy. It wasn't that I was dirty on the outside, I was just black inside, it's poison leaking out into my flesh.

Tears streaked silently down my red cheeks as I rested my head on the wall, the tiles making imprints on my forehead as I just stood their.

My eyes resting on a note I had scrawled on there some days before, its tiny writing triggering more thoughts to flow through my head as the tears continued.

'Do you feel the pain of the scars that won't heel?'

Was this what life was all about?

The immense pain and suffering??

The torture of feeling??

The loneliness that you felt when everyone just left?

The ache in your heart when you lay eyes on something you destroyed?

The strong feeling of not wanting to live??

The darkness that surrounded your every move??

Did everyone feel this hate towards life, the hate that made you want to not live anymore? Or is it just the warped and twisted me??

With great difficulty I lifted my heavy head off the tiles and turned the water off, fumbling with the shower door I stumbled out onto the icy floor of the bathroom.

My blank eyes roamed silently around the dark rooming, the only light coming in from the skylight above. Moving with out thinking I grabbing a royal blue towel from the rack and lightly wiped myself down. I tightly wrapping it around my body, engulfing myself in a warm damp feeling which ran cycles around my fragile body.

With a light groan I walked over to the door and opened it, the sound of my feet padding across the carpet was heard as I walked over to my wardrobe.

I roughly opened the oak doors and quickly ran my eyes over the various dark garments I owned. Soon after I started to search through the mass of clothing I found some items which I felt suited my feeling.

I yanked out a pair of large, baggy, black pants, a black tank top that had 'Back Off' in large white letters on the front and a long sleaved, yellow mesh top to wear underneath the tank.

I snatched my white skate shoes into my hand before piling the clothes in my arms and walking back into the gloomy ensuite.

I stood there staring at the mirror. It's reflection showing an image I'd rather not look at.

My fair skin had turned ghostly pale, my hair was bushed making me seem at least descent, the black pants sat even lower then they use to on my hips, nearly falling off. The tank was snug around my torso, showing off my even skinner frame, the bright yellow mesh sleaves flared out around my wrists.

My face had light make up around my eyes and lips, giving me a little colour. I had a chain clasped around my neck and that was all I could be bothered doing.

I continued to stare at the slowly deteriorating me, I was slowly killing myself and I wouldn't accept that, I deserved what I got.

"What is wrong with me?"

I stared at my reflection, running my eyes over the worn figure in front of me.

"When did everything start going wrong?"

Sighing heavily, I turned and slumped out of the bathroom.

"Time to face everyone, Time to see may. I'm ready to go back. I think……"

I forced a small smile onto my face as I shoved my wallet into my pocket, hooking the chain onto my pants.

I grabbed my mobile on the way out the door, switching it on I ran as fast as I could down the front steps of the house and into the awaiting taxi, that was going to take me to my destination, my hell.

She is lonely

Even though you can't tell

She is reaching out

For what, she doesn't know

She will continue to sit in silence

And hope that someone may stumble across

Her and all of her emptiness

But they only hope that they do it in time

Otherwise she will have drifted too far

And she may let go

Of whatever grasp of the world she has

As she slowly fades out of the lives of everyone

Nearly unnoticed

The taxi pulled up along side the wooden railings, which marked the top of the park hill. Without looking outside, I handed the driver his cash silently before sliding out.

I listened to the door close, it's sound signalling no escape. Taking a deep ragged breath I turned slowly around.

My eyes scanned the expanse of park, which was below me. I was on the top of the first hill, which looked over the plateau below me, the park that held the concert.

It was packed! At the left side of the flat, a huge stage with metal beams containing fancy lights towered over the people on stage. Large speakers were coming out in various different places, scattered out in the crowd. There was already a whole close mass of people bobbed around to a band.

Assorted beer and food stands was on the other side, a few people were milling around there, some looked already half drunk as they stumbled around, arms slung over various other people, mostly girls.

Looking ahead I could see over the second hill which lead down onto the crisp clean beach, the dark green water rolling softly into the shore, the beach was empty, only occupied by a few lovers.

The bright cheerful sun glinted of the trillions of tiny pieces of glass that made up the beach.

Looking further out onto the ocean I could see dark storm clouds, thick with a grey haze which was rain. Storms always travelled along the coast, but never come close enough to affect the town, so there was nothing to really worry about, it would just past.

Taking in a breath, I walked down the steep hill, heading to the concert. Instantly when I reached the bottom I was thrown into the massive jumping crowd, they were screaming along to a repeated song that I knew.

I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye  
I am the girl you know, so sick I cannot try  
And I am the one you want, can't look you in the eye  
I am the girl, you know I lie, I lie and lie

I pushed my way through the screaming, bobbing, moshing mass, as they took no attention to anyone else. I growled as I pushed one of the guys over as he strayed to close to me. I was already not enjoying this. What's the point? But I had to stay. I had to see May.

I'm miss world, somebody kill me  
Kill me pills  
No one cares, my friends  
My friends  
I'm miss world, watch me break and watch me burn  
No one is listening, my friend

I had to stop for a breather, pushing my way through the close mingled mass of bodies was proving to be tiering.

Pushing and shoving, pushing and shoving, people stepping on your feet, getting hit and whacked. It isn't fun unless you want to join in but I didn't, I just wanted to find some quite spot to stand and watch the bands.

My reflex action took control as I quickly moved out of the way, as some one tumbled backward, nearly pushing me over in the process as well.

Growling I turned and made my way further away from the mosh pit, heading to the outer rim of only single jumpers and swayers.

I pushed through a group and came face to face with Johnny, who was dancing with some blonde haired girl, that I recognised from the year below us at school.

A shiver ran down my spin as I realised how they were dancing, if you could call it dancing. They were pressed up so close together and swaying that you call it more 'four play'.

I cringed and turned around in disgust.

"Try hard."

I muttered as I weaved my way in a different direction, still heading further away.

Now I've made my bed, I'll lie in it  
I've made my bed, I'll die in it  
I've made my bed, I'll lie in it  
I've made my bed, I'll die in it

I felt a body in my back; my feet stumbled across the ground as I was pushed in the side, sending me stumbling into some solid tall figure.

"Oh fuck it."

I growled, straightening up, this was hell.

"My what language you have Kitten."

"Robert?"

Looking up I met a pair of laughter filled browny/red eyes.

"Robert."

I smiled, hugging him lightly.

I was glad he was back from holidays, I hadn't seen him all week and it just made my burden worse. I could tell Robert things that I felt uncomfortable telling anyone else. But there were still things I liked to keep a secret, from everyone…

"Never thought you'd be here."

I asked, knowing that this was something he normally wouldn't go to.

He just raised an eyebrow and smirked down at me.

"Need to do something after spending my holiday coped up on my arse. But I heard you weren't to well, so I'm surprised to see you."

He said in honesty, his words creating a bigger void in the pit of my stomach.

Cute girls watch when I eat ether  
Suck me under  
Maybe forever, my friend  
Now I've made my bed, I'll lie in it  
I've made my bed, I'll die in it  
I've made my bed, I'll cry in it  
I've made my bed, I'll lie in it

"I've been fine."

I lied softly, shifting my gaze away from him onto the ground.

I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye

"Do you know what band is up next?"

I asked quickly changing the subject.

I could hear the ending of the song come to a close and see the band, moving to pack up.

"Some band called Garbage Day?? Don't know who they are?"

"Yeah, well it is people from all over town."

"Hmmm, yeah."

I just looked at Robert as he stood there, a smile of amusement gracing his lips. Finally I realised that there was a brown haired girl standing beside him, her big blue eyes highlighted by her eye make up.

"Hello."

She said, smiling as she saw I had noticed her.

"Hi."

I muttered, just looking at her. I didn't know her and didn't really what to be friend, not now, I didn't want to ruin anyone else's life.

"Oh Kate this is Meg, she goes to a school across town."

"Ok."

"You ok Kitten?"

"Just fine Robert, truly I am."

"Right."

"I better go, I'll see if I can get a better look at this band."

I told him quietly, wanting to find a peaceful space for myself quickly.

"Ok Kitten, see you round."

"Yeah bye."

I turned slowly and started walking through the crowd towards a high point near the back, which was still close to the stage, but because it was an awkward angle no one really wanted to stand there.

My eyes focused on the floor mostly, making sure I didn't trip over discarded drink bottles.

I slowly climbed the hill and reached the peak in seconds, I sat down on the damp grass and pulled my knees to my chest, resting my chin on my knees lightly wrapping my arms around my legs.

I sat there for a while, staring at an ant in front of my foot, watching as it was being attacked by a bigger black bug.

I could see the panic flood through the ant as it started to scurry in all directions, trying to find a way to escape, but it never made it to safety as it was quickly eaten by the bigger black insect.

For some reason I felt like that ant, tiny in a big world with many safe places but never finds them and in the end is swallowed hole by a big black nothingness.

My vision focussed and I looked up, just looking at the stage paying nearly no attention, my eyes slowly roaming over the stage, the band members.

I looked to the girl who was reaching for the microphone.

It felt as my world slowed down to a halt. My eyes locked on the figure as she gripped the mechanical object firmly in her hand, a small sad smile gracing her lips as she stood their in all her glory.

There, taking the microphone at the front of the enormous stage, was May. Her cousins band members scattered out behind her.

But I didn't really notice, my eyes and mind were locked, I just stared at her.

She had changed. She looked like she had been through the toughest times of her life, her eyes held such confused that I had never seen before. She was different, changed since the last time I saw her.

But through every change she still had the same atmosphere around her. She stood tall and confident, just like she always did, the feel of don't mess with me surrounded her, the powerful look and knowing just itched into her frame and figure.

And as always she wore her own style, which I had grown accustom to, it was just her, May.

She was wearing a pair of charcoal grey cargo's that sat dangerously low on her hips. A spiked black belt was wrapped loosely over the top.

She had a firm fitting, black t-shirt on that read, 'Mess with me…' and I knew it had ' and you will need more then a face replacement' on the back. That was one of her most favourite tops in the world.

Underneath she had a long sleeved, fine black mess top that had thick bands around the wrists and the neck, making it stand out.

On her left wrist she had two spiked bands while on the other she just had chains. Around her neck was a studded dog collar.

Her black tipped white long bangs hung down along her face, highlighting her icy red eyes. The rest of her shoulder blade long, white, black evenly spaced streaked hair was pulled up into a high tight ponytail, leaving it to run along the middle of her back.

Her eyes were darkly shaded in with black make-up giving her the evil look she always had.

That was May, my Gothic friend that stood up for her beliefs, who battled anyone and who loved to pick fights and tease the hot shots of the school. My back bone.

I just stood there like a statue, watching as her eyes slowly scanned the crowd in the very front.

Suddenly the frozen world that everyone was suspended in came crashing down. Everyone started moving again and May started to talk.

"Hello."

She spoke, her voice bringing a sudden light into my dark world.

"Our band is called Garbage Day and we are just going to play two songs for you today."

The crowd was silent, before breaking out into a mixture of claps and whoops.

An evil smirk crossed May's lips as she stared at them. Turning around she indicated something to her band and a short spiked, white haired guy with deep green eyes started drumming on the drums.

A guy who had long black hair pulled loosely into a low ponytail, his gold eyes now closed and a tall red haired, blue eyed girl both on guitars, started strumming away.

May bobbed her head lightly and turned around, gripping the mic tightly, her mask revealing a minute emotion that I had never seen before.

Her voice flowed out through the speakers.

She is not scared to die..  
The best things in life drive her to cry.  
Crucify then learn..  
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide  
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!  
Sit and watch me burn..  
She's led to believe, that it'll be ok,  
Look at your face, scarred in dismay,  
But times have changed, and so have you..  
I think I'd rather crucify then learn  
  
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide  
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!  
  
Sit and watch me burn..  
I'd like to take you down, and show you  
Deep inside, my life my inner working  
So smell and lack of inner pride,  
To touch upon the surface, is not for  
What it seems, I take away  
My problems, but only in my dreams.  
  
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide  
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!  
  
Crucify the learn..  
  
Take so much away from inside you, makes no sense, you know he can't guide  
You, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!  
  
Crucify then learn..  
Sit and watch me burn..

My whole body seemed to pull to the ground, as May continued to clutch the microphone, staring off ahead into another world.

Did that song mean something?

Reason?

I watched as she finally moved and turned back around. Nodding to the band, she turned back to the microphone.

"Hope you enjoyed that, now here is the next song."

Quickly the drums and guitars started to play followed by May.

What did you say?

I couldn't hear ya from the other room,

What did you say?

C'mon TELL ME TELL ME

What did that mean?

Why don't you tell me what you really think?

What could that mean?

C'mon SAY IT JUST SAY IT

If you got something to prove, prove it!

If you got something to do, do it!

If you got something to say, fucking say it!

SPIT IT OUT

What did you say?

You need to tell me cause I need to know!

So what did you say?

C'mon TELL ME TELL ME

So what was that then?

You should think before you try to speak

Don't walk away now

I'm not FINISHED NOT FINISHED

If you got something to prove, prove it!

If you got something to do, DO IT!

If you got something to say then fuckin' say it

SPIT IT OUT

So what you're saying is that I always seem to let you down, well I'm sorry.

Fuck it just fuck it.

So what you're saying is that I always seem to let you down,

It's so easy,

Ahhhh fuck it, just fuck it.

I can't hear you when you're talking to me.

There was total silence from the crowd before they broke out into cheers and claps, whooping crazily as they jumped around. Some still moving to the beat even though the song had stopped.

May stood there on stage and smirked, staring down at them. Dark purple lights illuminating around her.

"Thank you, enjoy this wicked evening."

She turned slowly and nodded to the band, they all packed their instruments and slowly walked off stage.

May's white head disappearing into the crowd.

I couldn't move, my whole body was still frozen. Shock had taken over every inch of me.

A chilly breeze from the ocean swept over the hill and into the flat, making my hair move slightly, it's coolness seeping in. Slowly I started to move, realism hit me that May might be going, I had to find her.

In a second I was on my feet and shuffling as fast as I could down the slope without falling over. My arms flailing as I tried to steady myself at the bottom.

I looked around, my view had changed and I could no longer see over the heads of the massive crowd. All the white objects distracting my gaze, white shirts, white caps, white hair ribbons, white hair, which didn't belong to May.

Growling in frustration I thought the best thing to do was to make my way over to where she had walked off stage. I quickly started to shove my way through the mass, getting rough with people that refused to budge.

I ignored a few rude remarks that were thrown at me after I had pushed by. Rolling my eyes I shoved through another group and proceeded forward.

A large chest moving in front of me blocked my eyesight of the crowd. A light grey shirt covered the person's torso; I caught a glimpse of the maroon coloured jeans before I looked up.

"Move."

I hissed before I realised who it was.

Bryan just glared down at me, his pupils narrowed and his jaw muscles tightened.

"Don't talk to me like that wench."

I gasped. His tone was cold and emotionless, not like it ever had emotion.

"Don't call me that."

I hissed softly. My eyes lowering to the ground, unable to stare him straight in the eye.

I could hear him laugh, laughing at what I had said to him. My self-confidence plummeted and I could feel tears prick the sides of my eyes. I was pathetic… I couldn't even look him in the eyes.

"Just leave her be, she's not worth your time Bryan."

I looked wearily up to see Spencer stalk through a group of people over to us. He was two heads taller then me and was more solid then Bryan, if he wanted to do something he could.

Bryan just snorted at his friend and walked off, Spencer following quietly behind him, leaving without another word.

I was alone once more, being sucked down into my dark world once again. My mind kept hinting to me that I was spouse to be looking for someone but I was now lost in a world of dreary thoughts and feelings.

Bryan had a way of making something either grow or die with a single look, and he had just killed me. The thought of making me grow had just passed though his head like many others, his words were harsh and they had torn me up in the inside.

My mind was lost, drifting in and out of dark places.

'May'

Her name floated in through my thoughts and I was instantly pulled back into the living.

Blinking rapidly I glanced around. The light objects returning to my vision, shapes reappearing quickly along with the moving figures of people.

"May."

I gasped, all events momentarily being swiped from my mind as I quickly started pushing my way though the crowd again.

"Out of my way!"

I shouted, starting to move at a quicker pace as people actually started to move.

I was about to walk through a gap in the crowd when familiar faces and heads started to walk by.

"Bret…"

I whispered.

Hoping he would look at me but at the same time didn't, I did think I could cope. But it looked like he had heard me or just could feel my presence because he lifted his head to the side and glanced at me.

Now I wished he hadn't. The look in his eyes broke my heart. Sorrow, utter sorrow, the look of someone that had been torn down so many times and couldn't find a point to get up again.

Tears started to trickle down my face, I had brocken him… it was my fault.

"I'm sorry…"

I murmured, but he couldn't hear me as he had already pushed through the crowd and was heading towards the stage.

I looked back at Ozuma, Kai, Lee and Hitoshi as they walked slowly after him.

Kai walked straight by not even looking at me, but it was expected he was the only one out of the group I hadn't grown a close bond with, he didn't let people in easily.

I could just see the glint from Ozuma's eyes from under his flopped down fringe, his head was down, staring at the grown as he walked by. Only his eyes cast in my direction, a small sad smile on his lips.

Lee sent a small full glance at me, turning his head and smiling, before following after the others.

Hitoshi actually stopped and turned. Sending me a smile and quick wave, my heart felt lifted, someone finally! I waved back slightly, smiled sadly to him.

"Good luck."

I mouthed to him. He just smiled and nodded.

"You to."

Was his mouthed reply, Hitoshi's smile turned into line before he turned around and followed after the others.

I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, regaining my posture. Pushing away everything from my mind, I was to find may and that was what I was going to do.

I shoved through the group again and head towards the front of the stage again, I continued my rampage of pushing and shoving back before I was stopped by a neck high black stage. Glancing up I could see Bret's band setting up.

Sighing sadly I turned and looked along the black front towards the exit stairs, looking to see if I could find May.

Then white hair caught my eye, there just two meters away from the stairs, standing under the shade of an old bark tree was her, hidden in the shadows.

She was standing around talking to the band members I had seen on the stage with her earlier.

Taking in a deep breath for confidence I started over to her.

"Hello everyone, my band and I are going to play two songs for you today…."

I could hear Bret's voice from the stage as he talked into the microphone, but my eyes were glued ahead, I could see May looking up at the stage probably at Bret.

"They both hold special meaning to me as they go out to a girl that has affected me so much…."

I stopped dead in my tracks, was he talking about me?

I turned and gazed up at Bret as he looked out at the crowd, holding the microphone close to his mouth. I saw him close his eyes, a single unnoticeable tear run down his cheek, but I saw it.

Then it hit me… he was.

"She was a close friend, but I don't know where she went… well this goes out to you Kitten, I know you're here."

My heart dropped, ok what is happening? Bret?

I nearly crumbled to the ground! This was over bearing! It felt like my world was spinning so fast.

I just stared at Bret as he reached for the microphone, Lee, Ozuma, Kai and Hitoshi instantly starting the song, all the same looks plastered on there faces.

I don't want you to give it all up

And leave your own life collecting dust

And I don't want you to feel sorry for me

You never gave us a chance to be

And I don't need you to be by my side

To tell me that everything's all right

I just wanted you to tell me the truth

You know I'd do that for you

Why are you running away?

Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough to show you that i  
Was willing to give and sacrifice  
And I was the one who was lifting you up  
When you thought your life had had enoughAnd when I get close, you turn away  
There's nothing that I can do or say  
So now I need you to tell me the truth  
You know I'd do that for youSo why are you running away?  
Why are you running away?

Is it me, is it you  
Nothing that I can do  
To make you change your mind

Is it me, is it you  
Nothing that I can do  
Is it a waste of time?Is it me, is it you  
Nothing that I can do  
To make you change your mindSo why are you running away?  
Why are you running away?

...what is it I've got to say...  
So why are you running away?  
...to make you admit you're afraid...  
Why are you running away?

I stood there in utter disbelief. He thought that way about me? And what I was doing? He was so close, he nearly understood.

I realised that Bret was now staring down at me, right into my eyes, right through to my soul and it scared me, it scared me so much. I couldn't take it.

My mind was a mess. Thoughts shooting in from every direction, I couldn't connect anything.

My eyes drifted to the floor and I turned, walking over to May. Bret said something into the microphone but I didn't here I wasn't in this world. I was going to talk to May. She would help me! She would comfort me! She would tell me what I wanted to hear.

I looked up to see her standing in the shade; the rest of the band members had gone. It was only her and it looked like she was looking for someone. She looked around before her eyes saddened and she turned slowly around heading out.

"May!"

I screamed, moving as fast as I could through the crowd. My heart was belting into my chest as I ran, shoving people away.

"May! I'm here! May!"

I screamed again. May didn't turn around she continued to walk away, she hadn't heard me.

Bret's second song flooded through the air drowning my words out as I screamed again. I was only five meters away but she was walking quickly.

Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started  
I'm chasing after you

"MAY! For gods sake May, STOP!"

Suddenly, May stopped and she turned slowly around, eyeing the crowd with a confused look. She probably didn't hear me but something told her to stop.

She always got those feelings, we would stop and then someone would come running with good or bad news.

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"May!"

I panted, breaking trough the crowd and stumbling over to her.

"May."

I breathed, looking up at her. I placed my hands on my knees and crouched over trying to gain my breath.

Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation

You take all of me now

She just looked at me, nothing appearing on her face. I took in a breath and stood up straight, looking up to her.

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"It's me May… Kate?"

I was getting worried, the look she had on her face looked like she didn't recognise me.

"I know who you are dip shit"

She snapped. My jaw dropped and I just looked at her, suddenly a huge grin spread across her face.

"I would never forget you K.J"

I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm tapping into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you

A smile broke across my face and I couldn't help myself, I quickly embraced her in a huge.

"I thought you were gone for good, oh god May."

"I know…just cough don't strangle me… I can't breath cough…"

I quickly let go of her and took a step back, eyeing her down and smiling. Yep it was May alright.

There's nothing else to lose  
There's nothing else to find  
There's nothing in the world  
That can change my mind  
There is nothing else  
There is nothing else  
There is nothing else

"I thought you wouldn't show."

She said sadly.

"I'm offended to think that you thought I wouldn't turn up, the president himself couldn't stop me."

May grinned, she grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the quite shady spot near the tree.

"I've got so much to tell you."

She said, staring off ahead not looking at me.

Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
I'm closer to where I started  
I'm chasing after you

She looked ahead onto stage, seeming to focus on Bret. I turned and looked at him too, not really listening to the second song that was suppose to be for me.

I was with May now, sitting in the shade. It was bliss. I felt like I was back again, back in the months before everything had gone terribly wrong.

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"I know, but I already know what happened."

May turned to me sharply.

"You do!"

She blurted out in surprise.

I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you

"Yeah I heard from people at school."

"And you still showed? Even though… you know… what happened"

"Yeah, stupid prick I hate him so much, I haven't spoken to him since you left."

I stated, looking around at the crowd.

"You have."

"Yeah, Tala is a slimy little bastard."

I don't know what I said wrong but May was instantly on her feet staring down at me in horror.

"DON'T! You call Tala that! He helped me!"

May sharply turned and started to walk out into the crowd weaving her way in.

"May!"

I shouted jumping to my feet and moving quickly after her.

Just hanging by a moment  
Hanging by a moment  
Hanging by a moment  
Hanging by a moment here with you

Bret had finished his song when I caught up with May. I had followed May and now we were somewhere in the middle of the crowd.

I quickly caught up to her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around. I could see tears in her eyes but I knew she would never let them fall.

"What? What did I say?"

"Don't you ever say anything bad about our best friend Kitten! He was there, he helped."

"No! he was the one that played you! He was the one that drove you away from me! He broke Bryan and me up!"

As soon as I said Bryan's name May seemed to cringe and a new wave of anger swept over her.

"I knew you wouldn't find the truth from people at school, he has to much power over them."

"Who! What? I don't understand! Tala played you!"

"No he didn't Kate! Don't you see it! Bryan did! He tried a move on me Kitten! That's why I left! It was Bryan!"

The world around me seemed to just crumble, everything I thought was a lie, I was blaming Tala for something he didn't do. I never listened to him! I was braking him for something he didn't DO! I was such a bitch!

"God no..."

"Hell yes Kate! It was Bryan! he tried to…. He tried, but I got away. I was so embarrassed to tell you, it would have killed you. So I told Tala, told him to help me, he said for me to go away for awhile and he'll sort it out and he did. But there was so much he could do. I bet it was Bryan who told those people to tell you Tala had played me I BET you! But never ever bad mouth Tala Kitten, never….."

The tears in her eyes were now flowing. I couldn't say anything, my jaw was opening and closing in utter shock and shame, it was Bryan!

May wiped her tear viscously away from her face with her hands. She looked at me again, waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't, there was nothing I could say, nothing.

May just turned around and ran out into the crowd, quickly getting devoured into the depths.

I couldn't move, I just stood there watching her back disappearing.

Everything, everything was a lie. I blamed the wrong person.

Bryan!

I hurt myself over one thing that meant nothing! Bryan was nothing, he tried to… he tried to… I couldn't say it. He was a sick bastard. Utter cock!

I looked up on the stage; Bret was packing up his things along with the others.

I hurt him with feeling mixed around that brut! That… that… monster!

I slowly turned in a cycle on the spot, glancing around at the crowd while the thoughts ripped through my mind.

I stopped and clutched my head.

"IT WAS NOTHING!! HE HURT HER!"

The words burst from my lungs, ripping through the air as I fell to my knees staring at the ground. The people around me went quite, they probably thought I was mad but I didn't care, my world was already a mess, it was black.

"It was Bryan."

I kept muttering to myself over and over again.

"I'm sorry Tala."

I looked up and like fait the crowd in front of me seemed to part, showing the god-forsaken devil himself, the sun illuminating his figure from the behind.

My body started to tremble, not in fear but in pure rage. Anger pumped through my veins in such speed that my blood felt like fire. My vision started to turn red as I continued to glare at him.

Before I knew what I was doing I was up on my feet sprinting up to him.

"You bastard! It was you!"

I screamed.

Bryan turned around, instantly I jumped onto him, the force bowling him onto the ground me on top of him, pelting my fists into his hard chest. My hands were burning but that didn't stop me I kept hitting him, kneeing him, I punched him across the face.

I punched him again, glaring into his eyes.

Suddenly my strength left me as the look appeared on his pale face. He was smirking, blood was dripping from the side of his mouth but he was smirking, like it was the most amusing thing in the world.

"I hate you."

I hissed, slapping him hard.

I was withdrawing my hand, when a blur pasted before my eyes and my wrist was caught. Bryan's strong large hand gripping mine in a painful hold.

With the back of his other hand Bryan smeared the blood away from the side of his mouth, the evil smirk never leaving his lips.

"Come back for more have we."

He smiled. Suddenly I was soaring through the air and then hitting the grass painfully, a painful yelp escaped my mouth as I tumbling a few meters before stopping on my side.

I placed one hand on each side of my body and pushed myself up onto my knees, glaring back at him.

"You bastard, you sick mother fucker!"

Bryan was on his feet walking slowly over to me.

"Don't call me that bitch, no one calls me anything with out my liking."

I was pushing myself, trying to get onto my legs, but they were weak from the cuts I had inflicted on them myself.

I screamed in frustration and looked up to see how close he was now. My eyes widened in horror just as a fist came down and connected with the side of my face.

I fell back and instantly felt the bruise forming on the side of my face. But before I could even block or get to my knees a foot connected with my stomach.

I could her gasps from all around. Was he going to beat me to death in front of all these people? Is he that deranged? Would he?

I felt his foot connect with my stomach again. I cried out in pain as my insides started to burn. It felt like I was dieing, I couldn't feel the side of the face that he hit as the pain in my stomach was worse, I rested my head in the grass and whimpered pulling my legs to my chest. I couldn't stand another blow to the stomach.

Bryan chuckled. He was getting amusement out of watching me suffer in pain, what sick boy did I go out with? I shivered in disgust, regretting it instantly as it created new waves of pain to flow through my body.

"Not so tough now are we bitch, yeah cower like a dog."

I felt two strong hands grip my arms, I was yanked roughly to my feet in a cry of pain. I craned my eyes open and stared into his insane face.

I don't know what really happened then but I saw a blur and then a painful expression cross Bryan's face. Suddenly I was dropping to the floor, I cried out in pain when I hit the ground again, I tried to move my face to see what was happening, but I couldn't all I could hear was two voices yelling.

One I knew was Bryan's and the other sounded familiar to…. It was Bret!

"Bret!"

I whimpered, clutching my stomach.

"It's alright Kitten, I'm here, I won't let him hurt you."

"I'm sorry."

"Someone get her back!"

I heard him yell. I couldn't see anything, just the dark green off the grass. Nothing happened for a few minutes as the boys continued to yell and I heard some punched being thrown and some gasps.

"Someone help me!"

Suddenly I felt hands grab my top and I was pulled to the side of the cycle of people. I could see now, Bryan and Bret was going at it verbally and physically, throwing curses and punches.

Bryan was at least 2x bigger in body weight and strength then Bret was but Bret was more agile and fast, putting in a few decent punches himself.

But it all started to go wrong when Bret punched Bryan in the stomach.

Bryan clamped his two hands together and brought them down hard on the back of Bret's head. Bret fell down but instead of connecting with the floor he connected with Bryan's knee.

I could hear the painful gasp escape from Bret as he stumbled backwards, holding his stomach and arching down his head.

"Leave Kitten alone."

"Why? Do you like her or something lover boy."

Bryan teased, standing in his fighting stance.

"Maybe."

Was Bret's reply as he lunged forward again, Bret came in with his left but Bryan dodged it, he then backed it up with his right smacking Bryan square on the side of the face.

"I'll get you for that."

Brayn growled, I knew now that Bryan wouldn't hold back.

He came forward and grabbed Bret around the waist throwing him with ease to the ground, instantly bringing a knee down on Bret's stomach and then following it up with a viscous kick to the side.

I could hear Bret gasping in pain, he had said he liked me and now he was in immense pain.

"Someone help him!! PLEASE!! GOD SAKE HELP HIM!! BRET!!"

I screamed.

"Bret, god why did you get involved why!! Bret!! Help him!"

"Cause I –"

Bret was cut off with a gasp a Bryan brought another knee onto Bret's stomach, Bret struggled to get up but I knew Bryan had hit the right spots making it to painful to move.

"You bastard! I HATE YOU!!"

I screamed at him.

"LEAVE BRET ALONE YOU MONSTER! LEAVE HIM ALONE! GET LOST BRYAN! LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR GOD'S SAKE… please…"

My cries seemed to fall on deafened ears as Bryan continued to in flick pain on Bret's limp body. The blow to his head had knocked him out; it would have anyone with the force that Bryan had put behind it.

"HELP HIM!!"

Where's the police, shouldn't there be at least one of them around in case something like this happens!!

"MAY!!"

I heard an indecipherable sound behind me and I shifted my head to the side. May was kneeling beside me, she was the one who had dragged me out.

Why wasn't she doing anything, then I saw her eyes were fixed on Bryan, fear shoon brightly none that I had never seen before and I wouldn't blame her he was scary.

There was nothing any of us could do right now, but pray and hope that Bret would not get seriously injured.

But then like our prayers had been answered a voice boomed out from the crowd.

"BRYAN!! Enough!"

One side of the crowd parted and Spencer stalked in. Bryan stopped kicking Bret and looked up to Spencer, a foreign look burning in his eyes.

"Stop it now, it's enough, you've drawn a crowd."

"I haven't had enough, I'm enjoying beating this love sick fool."

"Bryan…"

Spencer growled, warning his friend.

"This isn't the time or the place."

Bryan grunted and rolled his eyes.

"What ever, I'm bored now anyway, you stole the moment."

"Good."

And that was it, Bryan and Spencer turned and left through a gap in the crowd like nothing had happened at all, Bryan hadn't beat me, hadn't nearly killed Bret, nothing had happened.

"Bret!!"

I screamed, crawling with difficulty over to his body. I scooped his head up and layed in down on my lap, his face was silent, no movement not a twitch. His hair was thick with crimson blood and blood was seeping from his mouth and various wounds.

"Why Bret? Why for me?? I'm worth nothing?"

May knelt down beside me and placed a finger on his neck.

"He has a pulse and he's still breathing, he'll be fine as long as paramedics get here fast."

"I've already called them, they're on their way."

A stranger shouted.

I wasn't noticing anything, I was just staring down at Bret's lifeless looking face, wiping away the clumps of hair from his brow and the blood from his mouth. Whispering to him and cursing him for not answering me.

"Bret!!"

I looked up to see the rest of the gang run over.

"What the hell happened!?! We were packing the van and – Jesus Christ!"

Lee stopped in mid sentence and looked down at Bret.

"Mate are you ok? Bret?"

"Bryan beat him up bad Lee, he's out cold."

I muttered rocking back and forth slightly.

My life just getting worse and worse.

When will it ever end.

* * *

A/N: Ok what do you think?? Was this first twist good?? Was it exciting or just boring?? Well please tell me in a review and then I have one more chapter or two or three before the BIG finally…. Hehehe so is everything getting clearer and I am so evil mwhahahaha!!

Like it??

hahaha well I'm rambling now…. I'm still hyped up from writing this chapter, I was bugged by shibi to write this so this goes out to you my friend XD

Took me what 5 hours… it took ages cause I had to cut paste and all sorts of shit but it's a longer chapter and THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed I won't write them all down cause you know who you are and I want to post this as fast as I can…. So yeah THANK YOU HUGGS AND LOLLIES to you XD well please review…


	14. Chapter 14: Feelings no one knows

**

* * *

A/N:** Hi guys…. Well I don't own Beyblade or the characters linked to it. I don't own the poems at the end of every chapter unless stated otherwise. I own my characters.... Bret, May, Kate and the others that aren't from any Beyblade series… I own the plot and story line as it was my very creative juices that came up with it XP… well so yeah R&R

OMG we are up to part 14!! I can't believe this… I just want to announce that the songs I used last time don't belong to me they belong to— Hole (Miss World), Kittie (Brackish), Jerk (Say it), Hoobastank (Running Away), Life House (Hanging By A Moment) and well that's it XD… enjoy this chapter.

Can I Ever Forgive You?

Part 14

'Why was I here?'

'What was I doing?'

My eyes craned slowly opened to reveal the glistening moon. Her glow was illuminating the dull, barren surroundings around my fragile figure.

'Where am I?'

My feet dragged on along the dark gravel, dirt floor, as I soldiered heavily on. Clambering up the side of a steep slope.

Everything around me was dead. Lifeless trees stood like towers all around me, reaching up to the midnight black sky.

Large stones and animal bones were scattered around the single only path I was mindlessly walking along.

'Why was I here?'

'What was I doing?'

Thoughts flooded endlessly through my mind as I kept moving. They didn't seem to stop, just passing though my hollow head.

I wanted to stop. To see where I was! But my commands were ignored as my mindless body continued on, moving like a zombie along the path.

'Stop! I don't want to continue. Stop!!' I shouted hopelessly.

I had a bad feeling about where I was heading and I didn't want to end up there, I wanted to stop.

I focussed everything. Every thought and feeling, tying to stop my legs from continuing there hurried pace.

My mind screamed and shouted, focussed and wished, but it was useless, my mindless figure climbed higher and higher, wondering around in this unknown dark, morbid world.

Suddenly my feet stopped, followed by my whole body freezing.

Without me saying my head moved up and looked towards the sky, staring hard at the moon.

'What was I doing?'

'Why was I staring at the moon?'

I didn't know. Nothing in my body was listening.

But slowly to my bewilderment the stars in the night sky began to fade. Leaving the moon by herself in the black space, all alone.

My eyes were still locked on her, seeming to ask her something, seeming to want something.

I didn't know what happened next. Just that everything went blurry and I felt my legs give way.

Suddenly I was on my knees and hands in the dirt, staring at the floor.

'What the?'

I struggled with all my might to look down and see what was wrong. My legs were encased in immense pain, shaking violently, I could've screamed.

'What's going on?'

Suddenly my eyes shifted and I was looking down at the horrific sight. My mouth opened and piecing scream echoed out of my throat, slicing through the silent air around me.

Tears started to flow from my eyes, running down paths they knew so well.

My eyes stared in horror as thick crimson oozed out of invisible wounds on my legs, followed by deep gashes appearing everywhere.

'Help me'

I whimpered inside as my hands attacked my legs, trying to stop the continuous bleeding.

"HELP ME!"

My voice shouted, echoing around the dead forest before returning to my ears in a sick painful scream.

"I'm all alone."

'No you're not, you have people around you that care for you.'

I shouted at myself.

"All alone"

My body shook as sobs racked over my body, instantly I held my head in my blood-covered hands.

It felt like I was only a small person, trapped in the body of another. Watching, feeling, seeing what they did.

But then why did it feel like my body? If it was, why didn't I have control?

I was blinded and ripped out of my thoughts as my head suddenly whipped up. Straining to see through the bright light, which was approaching me at a rapid speed. It's warmth soaking through my skin and into my bones.

I felt utter bliss in this unknown light, I could just let go and drift away. Forever…

* * *

I was roughly shaken awake by two hands gripped tightly on my shoulders.

"Kate! Kitten? Wake up…."

I blinked rapidly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the harsh light around me before turning wearily around in my position by the bed. The hard chair hurting my side as I swivelled.

"Want anything?"

May asked, keeping a warm hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head lightly and smiled sadly at her.

"I'm not hungry."

She looked at me, a sad expression passing over her face as she glanced at the figure occupying the bed.

"You can't beat yourself up over this. It ain't your fault."

"I know."

I said weakly, turning back around in the chair.

"Tala and I are going to get dinner, we'll be back in awhile."

I nodded and turned, smiling lightly at the familiar Red Head, who was leaning casually with one shoulder on the doorframe. A neutral expression on his face, but one of content, he had everything back.

He smiled back at me.

I must say he looked much better then the other times I had seen him, he looked nearly normal, back in his healthy toned shape and die for looks. But he still has a lot of eating to catch up on.

I had pulled him aside earlier and confessed nearly everything, holding back a few things. But I basically poured my heart out to him.

Told him how I had been such a bitch and hoped that he could find it in his heart to forgive me, surprisingly and to my happiness he forgave me and said he understood why I had reacted the way I did. He would have gone along the same lines to, but told me in the future to listen.

I understood what he meant and I would listen to my best friends. Doesn't matter what situation we are in.

"I'll see you later."

He said before turning and walking with May out the door. The door closed with a soft click behind him, stopping my view of the corridor.

Once again the room was shrouded in silence, only the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor and 'tic, tic, ticing' of the drip could be heard.

I sighed heavily, my chest heavy with guilt and sorrow.

This was entirely my fault.

Looking up I was hit hard with the vision of me, the horror film site reflecting off the mirror from across the room.

I had a black, deep purple hand sized bruise on my cheek, purple and black extending all the way from my cheek to around my eye and along my jaw.

My eye was swollen so was the side of my mouth, it had gone down since I had arrived but it still looked bad.

I couldn't see it but I knew my stomach was covered in large black bruises with thin red lines running over them, all the size of round walkmans.

Bryan had bruised the bottom of my rib cage but luckily no internal bleeding was apparent.

But for Bret the story was far beyond horrific.

I shifted my gaze away from the mirror and onto the figure in the bed, who was tightly wrapped in the white crisp hospital sheets.

Many mechanical tubes were coming out of various body parts. He had those god-awful tubes in his nose to help with his breathing.

I had asked the nurse why he needed those. He was breathing fine. She just gave me a look, which I took as you-wouldn't-want-to-know.

So to say the least I was scared witless.

I hadn't gotten much out of the doctor as he insisted that he was going to be fine and if anything really serious was wrong he would tell us, but for the time being information was kept for only the parents.

Which just made me mad, I had a right to know too, I was his friend.

But from what I could see visibly it was bad, he had worse bruises then me over his chest and stomach, though bandages now covered them.

I had over heard the nurse say he had a few broken ribs, but that's all I could hear. His face was a mess of colours and he would get a lovely shiner.

It was sick to say the least and I was the cause of this. It was my fault! I had caused this!

"It's all my fault! It's entirely my fault! Why did you have to do that!?! Why?"

I gripped the crisp white fabric tightly in two fists as my body racked in sobs. I buried my face in the sheets, crying my eyes out, the tears soaking the white material as I layed their next to Bret.

I blamed myself! It was my fault!

I repeated that over and over again it was my fault and I believed it.

A soft knock at the door caused me to slowly lift my head.

"Who is it?"

I sniffed, wiping my tears away quickly.

"It's me dear."

"Come in."

I croaked as I recognised the voice.

The door opened slowly and a tall women with chestnut brown hair, pulled into a high ponytail walked in, her shimmering forest green eyes were saddened. She glanced at me and a frown graced her lips.

I had gotten to know Bret's Mother quite well and she was a really kind lady. She could be strict when needed be but she had a huge heart.

It still made no sense to me, how she could marry a man that she did, abusive, violent. But I guess she probably had no choice.

"Oh dear, what are you doing?"

She strode over to me, instantly engulfing me in a hug, wiping the fresh tears from my face.

"It's my fault"

I chocked as sobs took over my body once again.

"Hush dear, hush, its not you fault. If we should blame anyone it's the monster that did this to you and my dear son. It's not your fault in anyway."

Mrs. Nonnigon soothed, patting my back lightly.

"We'll find him and he'll pay."

She pulled back and smiled down at my, wiping the tears away from my eyes again, taking care not to irritate my bruise.

"So don't blame yourself dear."

She placed a soft kiss on my forehead before straightening up, taking note that I had stoped crying.

Even though I didn't believe her, I did believe Bryan had to pay.

"What are you going to do?"

I said in between hick ups as I looked over to Bret.

"He'll go to jail for a long time I hope."

She smiled sadly and looked over to her son, pushing his hair lightly out of his eyes and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"He's so peaceful when he's asleep."

She muttered in thought as she stared blankly at him.

"All the worries of the world seem to wash away."

I looked at her, many thoughts running though my own head.

Realising I was sitting and Mrs. Nonnigon was sanding I quickly rose.

"Here have a seat."

"There is no need."

She insisted, waving her hand for me to sit again.

"No, I need to stretch my legs anyway."

I took a step forward, my body seemed to lose all energy and I dropped. Luckily Mrs. Nonnigon caught me and worry crossed her face.

"My, my, dear, you look extremely tired. You should go home and get some rest."

"No, I must stay here, just in case he wakes. Anyway, I don't really have a true home."

I said softly, shifting my eyes to the ground so Mrs. Nonnigon couldn't see the pain and suffering that was burning brightly.

"Stubborn, that's all I can say. You are just like my son sometimes."

She smiled as I stood up again and took a few steps back. I rubbed my eyes lightly, my tiredness getting the better of me as I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Well you can't sleep in the chair, you'll get a terrible back. So you'll just have to bunk next to Bret, only option as this is a one bed room."

"But I can't—"

"Nonsense, you can. As you can see it isn't exactly a small hospital bed. My dear husband insists on having everything large."

"But—"

"No buts, just hop in. I also believe that he needs some more warmth, he is dead cold."

She smiled, placing the back of her hand on his forehead.

"Come on, in you get, you need to sleep."

I walked slowly over to the bed, dragging my feet, hoping that I would fall asleep now on the spot so I didn't have to move anywhere.

"Oh move your little arse."

Mrs. Nonnigon chirped, pushing me quickly over to the bed. She sat me down and took of my shoes.

I didn't object as she layed my down next to Bret, making sure I wasn't laying on anything. She tucked me in and smiled warmly.

"There, it's not so bad. Anyway, I better be off, I have a house to manage and I can trust you with my son, you will phone me when anything changes."

I nodded and watched as she walked out of the room, switching the light off so that the room was instantly shrouded in darkness.

I was alone once again. I could feel the bed move slightly with every breath Bret took in.

"My fault."

I chocked.

Tears started to fill my eyes again as I pushed myself backwards, settling my back against his arm, giving him some heat at least.

Slowly I drew my knees to my chest and held them close, my tears wetting the pillow as they ran down my cheek once again.

"All my fault."

I sobbed, crying once again. I felt guilty. It was my fault, doesn't matter what anyone says, I got involved with Bryan and because of that everyone got hurt.

My eyes slowly closed, I couldn't ward off sleep any longer. Silently I cried myself into a restless sleep, haunted my monsters from the dark.

* * *

"WHAT IS THAT THING DOING IN THAT BED!!!"

My eyes snapped open immediately as the aggressive voice boomed though the room.

I quickly looked over to the door where a tall, strong looking man, with dark chocolate brown hair and pale green eyes stood glaring angrily at me.

His jaw was tight and rugged, he looked build for combat and his eyes were hard as stone, reminding me somewhat of Bryan.

"Dear don't be so loud, she was just resting."

I looked behind the bulky man's shoulder to see Mrs. Nonnigon, dressed in a nice causal dress, pleading with the man in front of her to drop his voice and temper.

I gasped in realisation as I pieced together who this man might be.

"Mr. Nonnigon."

I blurted out, instantly stumbling out of the bed and onto my feet, swaying a little, as I tried to adjust to the sudden change in temperature and environment.

"She is awake, then away with her."

Before I really knew what was happening Mr. Nonnigon was shoving me roughly out the door.

I glanced back at Bret who was still deep in sleep, lying in the same spot as last night.

Then to Mrs. Nonnigon, who mouthed 'sorry,' before the door was slammed loudly in my face as I stood silently in the corridor.

I stayed there looking at the door stunned and in fear. Mr. Nonnigon was a scary looking person.

I moved and leant against the wall beside the door, listening to the rising voices behind. One belonging to Mrs. Nonnigon and the other Mr. Nonnigon, I wondered if this was what Bret had to face everyday.

After fighting about me for awhile their fight started to reach the maximum point and I feared what would happen. Mr. Nonnigon, to me, was known to have a temper.

"Our son is in a hospital bed and all you can think about is the money it costs!"

Mrs. Nonnigon shrieked.

"Oh woman shut your stupid mouth. This is all my son is good for, spending and taking my money."

"You forget that he is my son too and he deserves the best there is."

"He deserves nothing more then a cardboard box to live in."

"Don't you dare talk about our son this way, you are stupid to even think such thi—"

I could hear a smack and a painful gasp from behind the wooden door, my head dropped and I felt tears os utter sorrow well up in my eyes.

He was like Bryan in so many ways. But Mr' Nonnigon was more of a money hungry beast, that only cares about his well being and no one else's.

All I could hear now was muffled voices, as the argument behind the door hushed.

I closed my eyes, trying to ward away images of what Bret might have had to go though as a child and even now. It was too painful for me to think about now, even with my problems.

"Kitten?"

I looked up, staring down the corridor as a familiar red head walked steadily towards me. His hands placed casually in his pockets, head held high.

"Nice to see you're back."

I stated bowing my head again as I felt tears threatening to spill once again.

I could hear Tala stopping in front of me, the tips of his shoes visible in my restricted view of only the floor.

"Are you ok?"

"No."

I said bluntly, lifting my eyes to look up at him. His mouth was opening and shutting like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to say it.

"That's not something you hear everyday."

He finally said, probably giving up on trying to find words and thought to turn the situation into a joke, but it wasn't working.

"Why!"

I croaked as I flung myself forward onto his shoulder, gripping the back of his t-shirt tightly as tears sprung to life.

"Why so many tears? Life's not so bad."

"But it is."

I said, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

Tala rubbed soothing cycles on my back as I broke down crying, pouring every sad, morbid emotion out in wet salty droplets.

This was getting too much for me, Bryan, Mr. Nonnigon, Bret like this. Why did I have to deal with it?!? Why??

I stood there in Tala's arms for what seemed like hours. Being held until I had stopped crying and felt able to leave his warm embrace.

Straightening myself I stepped back, noticing the saddened look on his face.

"Well there goes my new shirt."

He joked, tugging at the huge wet patch on his shoulder.

I smiled sadly at him. This was just like Tala.

"Thank you."

I said softly, leaning back against the wall.

"I ready needed to do that."

"Anytime Kitten, I'm not going anywhere."

Tala looked down at me. Concern and truth was burning bright as the sun in his blue eyes.

I knew he wouldn't leave my side, even if god commanded him to. He was too loyal to do that, he always told May and I that he thought of us as his wolf pack and that he felt like he was the head wolf, holding all the responsibility for our well being.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the door beside me being swung loudly open. Mr. Nonnigon stalking briskly out, followed closely by Mrs. Nonnigon who had a red hand mark on the side of her face.

They continued to walk down the corridor and around the corner out of site, not a word being exchanged between them and me.

Stepping away from the wall I moved to the door ready to go back in. I could see Tala following me from the corner of my eye, taking a step closer.

I turned around and looked at him.

"I need to go in by myself Tala."

Slowly I looked to the ground. I had to tell someone, I had to tell him everything and I felt I had to do it now or I would never tell anyone anything of my problems. Even if he couldn't hear me or reply at least I was going to tell someone.

"I need to be alone with Bret for awhile."

Tala nodded slowly in understanding.

"Ok, I'll be right outside the door."

I smiled at him before turning back around and disappearing into the room, closing the door slowly behind me.

The room was still dark, only strips of light getting through from the blinds on the only window. The monitors beeped rhythmically away.

I took a deep breath.

"Now or never."

Slowly I walked over to the edge of the bed, again taking a seat in the hard chair. I cupped my hands together and layed then on the bed. Taking another ragged breath I looked at Bret.

"Here we go. Bret I dunno if you can hear me but I have something to tell you…."

Then I did it I poured everything out. Talked about the first time I met him, what I did to myself, how I had hurt my friends, how Bryan had hurt May, how I had treated Tala, about my parents, grandparents, self-brutalisation. Feelings, thoughts, doings, seeing, I needed to get everything off my chest.

"That's why I don't know why you did that Bret. Why did you help a useless piece of trash that had hurt you so much??…why???!!!"

Tears were now flowing endlessly down my cheeks, I had confessed everything and now I just felt utter shame and sorrow.

I dropped my head into the sheets again, hiding my face.

Suddenly I felt a hand on the back of my head, the soft warmth tingling along my scull. Slowly I lifted my head, the hand followed to, cupping one side of my face.

"Because I love you and no one should ever treat you that way, no one!"

I couldn't help but brake out into a smile.

"Bret."

I shouted, flinging myself on top of him, encasing him in a hug.

"Ah! watch the ribs."

He hissed slightly.

"Sorry."

Bret smiled as I sat beside him on the bed. He removed the devise from around his head and chucked it aside.

"You are awake, but for how long."

"Since my parents barged in, I felt you jumping up."

He frowned slightly.

"So you heard everything."

I muttered, dropping my head.

A finger hooked under my chin, forcing me to look up. My eyes locked with his, an emotion burning brightly in his eyes that I had never seen since my parents died.

"We have our problems and we will deal with them together."

My head was guided forward and Bret pressed his lips against mine. His ran his tongue along my lower lip. The sudden movement causing me to gasp, allowing him entry. His tongue glided over mine, Bret slowly starting to deepen the kiss, moving his hand behind my head so I couldn't pull back.

To tell the truth I didn't want to pull back, I felt utter bliss. He tasted so sweet of cinnamon.

Bret slowly pulled back, only to regain his breath.

Panting myself I leant my forehead against his. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I could feel my pulse racing, the blood rushing instantly to my ears. I had never felt like this before.

I closed my eyes, taking in Bret's smell, remembering everything about him in thought. His outline, his face, I saw everything just like a picture.

That lopsided grin he sometimes had on his face, the look he gave me when I entered the room, like his world had just lit up.

The tone of his voice, the special walk that was his and only his, the walk that always reminded me of a hot summers day while laying on a beach with a lemonade in hand, that airy refreshing but burdened walk.

I moved my hands and cupped his faces, remembering the words he had just said to me. _'I love you.'_

Something suddenly clicked inside of me and I smiled, opening my eyes to look into his.

"Bret."

"Hmm."

"I love you to."

I moved forward, locking lips with him once more. This time, I was returning the feeling.

* * *

Not much I can say….. Don't want to ruin the moment so I'll say something next time.

Review

Red


	15. Chapter 15: Final

A/N: Hi guys…. Well I don't own Beyblade or the characters linked to it. I don't own the poems at the end of every chapter unless stated otherwise. I own my characters.... Bret, May, Kate and the others that aren't from any Beyblade series… I own the plot and story line as it was my very creative juices that came up with it XP… well so yeah R&R

Can I Ever Forgive You?

THE END

Now where do I start……

Three weeks after Bret was realised from hospital we started dating. He showed me that even if things seemed to be the worst they could be it didn't help to punish myself over it.

He made me, after continuous arguments, go see a specialist who helped me to deal with my problems in a different way.

Now I can easily talk to people and express how I feel, I don't blame myself anymore and haven't inflicted pain on myself in quite awhile.

Mrs. Nonnigon collected the courage with Bret and I to call the police. Mr. Nonnigon was arrested and charged on domestic violence, abuse charges and the list could go on. He had to go into medical care where they found him mentally unstable.

I'm happy I don't have to deal with him every time I go over to Bret's house and the atmosphere there seems to be lighter and more pleasant. You can defiantly see it when Mrs. Nonnigon is walking around the house. She starts singing and humming tones, which is sweet and nice to hear.

Bryan was then trialed on account for violence and attempted rape. He is now serving time in jail and won't be out for quite awhile. Joy all around!

Spencer has turned out to be a nice guy and has helped with community service here and there.

He told me he was sorry about Bryan and that the only reason he was his friend, was he felt he had to keep him out of trouble. Though it didn't work. Spencer and I talk a lot and I enjoy his company, so does May.

May spoke up and faced her fears. It feels that the weight was lifted from her shoulders. She's attending school again and it seems we're back to our normal routine of causing havoc and disaster.

I couldn't be happier to get detention now, especially when I serve it with May and we both get booted out because we were disruptive. Bret doesn't find this amusing but he deals with it, he's my boyfriend after all.

Ray and Mariah sorted things out, after I major-ly apologised.

I told Mariah everything and she couldn't be anymore sympathetic. She now watches my every move like a hawk, it gets quite annoying, but least Ray is happy.

He has accepted that Mariah was experimenting with her sex life at a young age, but has become quite protective and has caused about ten fights on school grounds. In which he fully beat the shit out of Johnny.

I found this hilarious, as did May. As Johnny by the end of it was broken down into a crying wreck, I think his popularity has been major-ly dropped.

Tala and May have started to date. I swear I saw that coming.

They make such a cute couple, I now have the right to tease May when Tala shows affection as she did it to me when Bret did.

May seems happy and Tala is back to his normal look and attitude. We talk and get along like old times, nothings really changed in our friendship group, apart from Bret has joined and we're dating each other. But it's great!

Grandad and Grandma, oh I couldn't be more happy!!! They finally did something right! They died!! Seemed both their numbers were up.

Grandad had cancer of the lung from smoking too much and he refused to go get it checked out so he never knew he had it, he died in his sleep.

Then Grandma! Get this! Was so happy, cause now she was stinking rich, went out to a friend's house and partied, got so drunk that when she was driving home crashed!

I tell you fate was on my side, cause neither of them had a will and I'm their only living relative, so I got all their fortune!!

So now I can literally roll around in money. Grandad's company I found out was a research facility that tested chemicals and products. I had no use for it, so I sold it off and got more money added to my account, I swear I don't have to work for as long as I live, but I still will.

I want to get my hands dirty and do something. I might help Bret out with his father's company that he has taken control over.

And also I've moved in with Bret, I know it's a big step but I donated MY house to the children's orphanage, I think they can do with all the extra space that I'll never use.

I thanked the Dutches for her kindness and I visit her now and then to say hi and have a nice chat. But it wasn't long until she returned home, as she was needed there, apparently a civil war broke out and the people needed settling. So she won't be back for quite awhile.

I finished high school, graduated with some credit, which I was surprised about. Well since then one year has pasted and my life couldn't be better.

* * *

I stood silently in the kitchen. 'Clunk, clunk, clunk,' was the only sound which could be heard, as the knife I was holding sliced through the carrot and hit the cutting board.

I could hear in the background Judy humming, as she strolled down the corridor heading towards the kitchen.

I smiled to myself, as happy thoughts continued to run through my head. I sort of lost track of what I was doing, when I finally realised that I was no longer cutting a carrot but just thin air.

"Having fun there?"

Judy spoke up. I turned to see her leaning happily against the doorframe, looking me over with bright cheerful green eyes.

"I'm happy my son found you."

She smiled and walked over, encasing me in a tight warm hug.

"I'm glad I found him to."

I murmured back, trying to continue on with pre-cutting salad for today's lunch.

"He has finally found someone to hold in his heart, who is kind and caring, who also has a decent fashion sense."

I laughed as Judy made her way over to the small kitchen table, taking a seat she slouched down. Folding her arms on the table, she placed her head on the top of them.

Judy was dressed in a casual cream, long sleaved top and black ankle long dress.

While I was in a white tank top, black pleated mini skirt and thongs. It was summer after all and it was quite hot outside. My hair was pulled back lightly by a light pink headband and it was secured there by pins.

I chuckled to myself again, pulling a tomato out of the fridge and proceeding to cut that up as well.

"Summer, can't believe it's been another whole year. And you can tell it's the hols as Bret is still asleep."

Judy smiled, looking out the window at the bright blue sky and puffy white clouds which tutted along with no care in the world.

Reminding me somewhat of fairy floss for some strange reason. I licked my lips as the thought of fairy floss drifted through my head as I continued to slice salad.

"Well then, I better go out and do some gardening, it's such a wonderful day."

"Don't you have a hired gardener?"

I puzzled, looking up at her.

"Yes, but I've always wanted to do gardening, never to late to try. Just hope I don't pull up things that ain't weeds."

I smiled and laughed as I heard Judy continue to mumble as she left the kitchen and walked down the corridor to the yard.

I shook my head, lazily cutting another tomato as I stared dreamily ahead.

My eyes glazed over as I thought of last week when the gangs went down to the beach. It was full of joy and laughter. Ozuma had ganged up on Kane, chucking him off the jetty after he had just got changed, this followed by May and I pushed Ozuma off. I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered the look on Ozuma's face.

Suddenly I was pulled out of my thoughts by a sharp pain shooting up my hand as metal sliced through my skin.

"Shit!"

I pulled my hand away, looking at my thumb as blood oozed slowly out of it. I stood there staring at the blood, pain shooting through my hand continuously.

"Arr god damn it."

I cursed as I noticed the blood had started dripping down onto the floor.

"KATE! What are you doing!"

My head whipped around to where I saw Bret. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed. His great looking toned muscular torso exposed, as he was only glad in black boxers, a look of concern and fright on his face.

"Kate you ok?"

The tone he used made me cringe and frown.

"Bret, I accidentally cut myself with the knife while I was cutting vegies. God, I've stopped doing that! Now can you get me a bandaid this really stings!"

Bret's face changed and he smiled.

"Sorry, just you gave me a shock."

"I was on my way to get a bandaid, now can you hurry up please."

Bret chuckled, annoying me as he made his slow loapy pace over to a draw, proceeding to open it slowly.

"BRET!"

"Ok, ok."

Pulling the first aid kit out of the draw he smiled, walking back over to me. Carefully he grasped my thumb in his hands, fixing it up, stopping the bleeding.

"There, that's better."

He smirked, placing a light kiss on my finger making me laugh.

"Morning, finally."

I chuckled placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Oh come on it's only 9.30 it's not that late."

I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.

"Depending on who!?! I've been up since 7!"

"Well who's the early bird."

Bret looped his arms around my stomach, pulling me back against his chest.

"My bird."

He said saucily, nibbling lightly on my ear, causing my body to shiver with delight.

"Stop it."

I tried to be serious but it came out in pleased moans.

"Stop what… this… or this?"

He teased shifting his lips and starting to nibble my neck.

That was it, I couldn't hold the barrier up much longer. I melted against his solid chest, leaning peacefully there as Bret continued on to place kisses along my jawbone.

"I love you."

I mumbled in bliss.

"I love you to."

Bret replied, finishing off by kissing my lips softly.

"Good."

I quickly removed myself from his arms, taking a few steps forward before turning around to give him a cheeky grin.

Bret laughed and opened the fridge, taking out a bottle of milk, sipping it lazily.

"We own such things as glasses."

I mumbled angrily pushing up to sit on the counter top.

"Hmmm… yeah but their so boring."

I flicked his messy brown hair out of his eyes as he stopped in front of me. Bret placed one hand on either side of legs, sort of boxing me in.

"This looks familiar."

He teased.

I growled half annoyed half amused, before lightly kicking him in the stomach.

Bret just laughed, holding my feet down against the counter.

"Are we disturbing anything?!?"

A voice floated in from the doorway. Immediately my head whipped around, revealing an amused looking May with Tala standing closely behind her, a smirk apparent on his face.

My eyes drifted back to May, whom now had a smirk on her face, as her eyes seemed to be examining something, then it hit me.

"TALA! KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"What? What did I do?"

May said cheekily, the smirk never leaving her face as she casually walked in and sat down at the table.

I glared at May, glancing over to Tala.

"Don't worry Kitten, she has me."

May snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Yes Tala, but why can't I ever walk in on you just wearing boxers?!"

"I usually don't even have boxers on and you never complain."

"True."

May smiled, resting her head on her hands.

"GROSS! TO MUCH INFOMATION guys!!"

I cringed, shivers running down my spine.

"Oh come on Kitten, you're not all that innocent."

My face turned bright red as soon as those words left May's mouth. It didn't help either that Bret was smiling, nearly laughing.

"BRET!"

"What? I can't lie to them."

I shrieked in frustration, burying my head into my hands, hiding my face.

"Don't gang up on me! It's not fair!"

"You're with us! When is it ever fair!?"

"Are we going to the market anything soon?"

May put in, I lifted my head and looked at her.

We had planned to go to the market today. Bret had insisted that we did for some strange reason, I can tell he has something up his sleave.

"Yeah, just let me get some clothes on."

Bret replied, kissing me lightly before leaving for his bedroom.

"I got to change to."

I stated quickly, sliding off the counter top.

"I'm coming with, I need to talk to you."

May shot in, jumping up from her seat.

"I'll go watch t.v then."

Tala muttered, kissing May as she passed.

"Ok then."

May walked with me up the stairs. Turning the corner we walked into the large bedroom that Bret and I shared, Bret wasn't anywhere to be seen. He probably had gone to the large bathroom further alone to have a quick shower and change.

"So howz it been?"

My eyebrow rose as I walked over to the door that led into the walk in wardrobe.

"The same answer as I said yesterday, good."

I walked along the line of clothing picking out items I wanted to wear. A pair of black loose cargo's, a light pink tank top that had 'Roxy' written in brown around the back and a pair of white and baby pink skate shoes.

With that I walked out into the bedroom again, looking over to May who was lazily flicking through a mag as she rested on the bed. As soon as I entered she looked up at me.

"I know, you told me that yesterday, but that was before I saw you throw up in the bathroom later."

My eyes darted around as I tried to think of what to say. I didn't want to break the news just yet, I had taken tests before and it was positive, but I didn't really believe it, but then the signs started to show. So it must be.

"Ummm…."

"Come on Kitten tell me! What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong. Hold on…"

I quickly disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. A few minutes later I reappeared, clad in the clothing I had picked, the old ones in a bundle in my arms. Quickly I cast them aside and walked over to wear May was sitting, frowning slightly at me.

"You can't avoid the question, Kitten I don't want you to hold anything from me. I don't like it."

"May, please slow down let me try to form this into words."

A concerned look crossed over May's face and she straightened up.

"Umm…. May….Arrr god…"

I ran a hand over my face. Words formed in my head but broke in my throat, why was it so hard to tell her. Then I just blurted it out.

"I'm 5 weeks pregnant."

The room went silent for what seemed like ages to me. May's face then suddenly broke out into a bright grin.

"Oh my god! Oh my fucking god!… you've been knocked up!"

"Oh put it that way May."

I growled, crossing my arms.

"Who's the father? Oh what a dumb question! Does Bret know?"

"No I haven't told him…. I plan to May don't worry. I'm just waiting for the right time."

May started to laugh happily and she encased me in a hug.

"Don't you think it's a bit early though I mean I'm only 18."

May stoped and pushed me away from her, her eyebrow raising.

"You're frickin' 18 man! That's not exactly young, Mum had me when she was 17."

"Oh yeah, yeah you're right it's not that young and I'm mature enough…. I think."

"I'm so happy."

May jumped up, but stopped and looked back at me.

"Though I can say otherwise about your resent pick of clothing."

"Oh don't dis my clothing, I'm not into the dark colours right now."

May rolled her eyes. She was dressed in a black tank top, black pants with chains and black and silver stitched sneakers. With spiked cuffs around her wrists, her hair pulled up in its usual manner.

"You very morbid person."

I chuckled earning a smirk from May.

* * *

(Bret's point of view)

I slowly made my way down the staircase into the main lobby. Many thoughts running through my head, I can't believe I'm going to do this.

I put my hand into the pocket of my jeans, fiddling with the cold metal object as I flipped it around my fingers.

All I had to do now was find a quite spot in the park near the markets.

"Bret!"

I turned around as I heard my name being called, the voice sending my heart into uneven beats. I lifted my head to see Kate walk down the staircase, her blonde hair swaying with every movement, her deep hazel eyes fixed on me, that smile that had snagged my heart the first time I had seen her.

She was the one for me, the one I wanted to spend my life with. I knew it.

"You look gorgeous."

It was the truth she did.

"Why thankyou."

I looped my arm around her waist, dragging her close before dropping my head to clasp her soft lips in a heart filled kiss.

"Are we ready to go?"

I asked as Kitten pulled back, my whole body wanting to kiss her once more.

"Yeah I think so."

Kate smiled and ran her hand quickly through my wet flop on my head, causing me to shake my head causing water to spray all over her.

Kate shrieked and moved away.

"Thanks a lot Bret!"

"Oh you saw that coming though."

Kate smiled, before pouting and crossing her arms.

I glanced over to May where she was standing extra cheerful, she looked back at me and smiled sending me into complete confusion.

"Right lets go then, we can go in my car."

"Fine with me."

Tala said as he appeared from around the corner.

I nodded and we walked out the front door.

* * *

(Kitten's view)

The market place was a buzz of life. People crowded everywhere. Voices shouted 'sale' and 'cheap' over the noise that was already there. I could see jewellery, food, clothing, toys, anything you would normally find at a shopping centre.

I couldn't help but smile when tiny children ran cycles around my legs and then dashed off to their calling mother.

"Hey Hitoshi!"

Bret called from beside me. I looked up to see Hitoshi dressed in a police uniform, flipping through a stack of records. Another job he is probably trying out.

We wadded our way through the crowd over to Hitoshi, apon our arrival he smiled warmly.

"Nice to see you guys."

"So you're on duty."

Bret smirked, flicking the badge.

"I can arrest you for police harassment."

Hitoshi said jokingly, pointing the finger at Bret, causing Bret to crack up laughing.

"Yeah I'm on duty. Dad's here somewhere in his uniform, he made me try this out but I don't think it's really my thing."

I nodded and smiled, as if on cue Mr. Sajahara appeared beside his son wearing his Police Chiefs uniform.

Hitoshi looked so much like his father. Same messy, all over the place blue hair, exactly the same body shape. Lean, built, slightly muscular, but his face and eyes was his Mother's doing.

Minoko Sajahara was the sweetest lady that ever walked the earth. Hitoshi had inherited his Mother's kind, caring face and soft, dark brown, copper coloured eyes. Plus the bright smile, which she always had lacing her features.

Unlike Mr. Sajahara who had dark midnight coloured eye and a rugged face. But he still looked kind and easy enough to approach.

"Good Morning Mr. Sajahara."

"Oh good morning Kate. Are you enjoying yourselves?"

Mr. Sajahara smiled, crossing his arms lightly over his chest.

"So far yes."

"Ah that's good, there are many things that are worth buying."

"I can guess."

"Bret, you look well and your Mother?"

Bret smiled replying instantly.

"She is very happy thank you."

"Ah that's nice, well my son and I have to get on our way, we have many villains to catch and charge. Nice to see you both."

Hitoshi rolled his eyes and smiled at us.

"Cya later, when I'm done I'll catch up with you guys."

"Yeah cool, see ya Hitoshi."

We waved goodbye as Hitoshi walked off with his Dad into the crowd.

"His Dad is weird."

Bret said, mouthing his thoughts, a zoned out look on his face.

"I know, well come on Bret we have things to see."

"True."

I took Bret lightly by the hand and lead him over to a beautiful shop, which had caught my interest.

We had been shopping for hours now and the crowd had thinned quite a bit, you didn't need to shove your way through people anymore.

I had bought a few things here and there, every time Bret would run back to the car with them making me feel guilty, but he said he didn't mind.

My watch was one minute away from striking twelve. I was standing, well really sitting, alone on a bench in the middle of the square. Bret had said he needed to get something engraved at the jewellery place, I don't know what.

May and Tala were off somewhere, they had split from the group the moment we arrived, probably finding their own treasures.

I tapped my foot impatiently, while also drumming my fingers on the armrest as I held my head up by my other hand. I was hungry! The smell of food wafting over from the food stands wasn't helping either. I could hear my tummy churning as it asked for food.

I sighed, I couldn't get food as I was out of money, Bret had the money and he was at a Jewellery stall somewhere and I couldn't see Tala or May anywhere. But sitting around probably wasn't helping anything, as I was continuously thinking of the topic.

Groaning I stood up, facing in the direction of the food stalls. Satay chicken, hot dogs, sushi, Mexican, the smells drifting my way.

"Oh stop taunting me!"

Mumbling angrily, I turned around, eyes focused on the ground before slowly looking up.

There was someone standing a few metres in front of me. I could see their black boots, then their black pants, white shirt and tie plus black jacket. I slowly looked up more and the face that revealed itself made my heart stop dead cold, fear draining my face of all colour.

My body began to shake, I couldn't move, my body was numb. Why was he here?!? What the hell was he doing here!!

"You little bitch."

I could hear his cold hiss from where I was standing. His steal cold, forest green eyes causing my skin to form goose bumps under his gaze.

"Wh-wh-what ar-are yo-you do-do-ing he-here?"

"To get revenge for the life you took away from me. You know how much you cost me!"

He snapped angrily, his arms waving slightly in fury.

I couldn't reply, I couldn't say anything, this man looked like he was about to kill. His eyes were blood shot and his face was cold, not a trace of sanity left in him.

"You cost me my company, my reputation. Now my stupid wife has the money and my bastard son has control over my company!"

Him talking about his family that way made me sick in the pit of my stomach. But talking about Judy and Bret that way just made me angry.

"Who the hell are you to call them names, if anyone should be called names it's you! You prick, monster, arse hole!"

I blurted out, my anger raging through my veins before turning dead cold again. I knew what I said would drive him mad, but I would have never expected the next event to happen.

Mr. Nonnigon seethed with rage as he always did, his face turning a frightening red. Angrily he flung back his jacket and pulled out a gun from the tuck of his belt, pointing it straight at me, the black object making my eyes widen in fear. Was he serious?!?

"You are the most rudest wrench I've ever known! I wish my son had never found you!"

He barked. Causing my whole system to nearly shut down, his tone told me he was being serious.

"FATHER!"

A familiar voice cut through the air.

The next think I knew was an agonising burning sensation ripped through my chest. A blur of the blue sky as my body crumbled down in pain, everything then started to shake uncontrollably, my breathing taking so much effort to do. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, its beats slowing down. There was pain, immense pain ripping through my whole body. That's when I knew……. He had shot me!

* * *

(Bret's view)

The two people facing each other shocked me. What the hell was my father doing here? And was that a gun he was holding!?!

My voice built up in panic, bursting out of my throat as I charged forward.

"FATHER!"

A loud 'BANG' rang through the air, hitting my ears with a deadly chill. My heart nearly stopping as I snapped my gaze to where Kitten now lay. Her body shaking in a pool of blood, which was quickly forming around her.

"KITTEN! NO YOU BARSTARD!"

I dashed over to Kate. Her eyes were roaming all over the place. Her breaths were more like painful gasps. A bullet wound was visible like day on her right side. Blood was flowing from it quickly, running everywhere.

Tears welled up in my eyes as realism hit me. This couldn't be happening! Not today, NOT TODAY!

"Bret?"

I heard her faintly gasp.

"Kitten, I'm here, I'm here."

Instantly I knelt beside her, ripping my shirt off I placed pressure on her wound.

"Bret, I feel cold."

"No you don't, it's not cold."

Tears started to pour down my checks as I sat on the ground and pulled her into my lap, holding her hand in mine tightly. I could feel her blood soaking my pants and making contact with my chest, the warm liquid causing my heart to plummet.

"You'll be fine. SOME ONE CALL AN AMBLANCE!!""

I hadn't noticed the screaming crowd of people, who were running away, some finding shelter. Looking up I could still see my Father; he was pacing and muttering to himself. Gun waving in his hand.

"She deserved it, she did, she deserved it."

"YOU BARSTARD!! I HATE YOU!!"

My vision was cloudy but I could see him turn my way. I was mad, mad at him, he always had to take everything happy away from me, ever since I was a little child.

"What was I suppose to do! She had taken everything that mattered to me! EVERYTHING! MY COMPANY MY REPUTATION!!"

It was always about him, only him. He only cared about himself, but no one cared about him.

"YOU HAD NOTHING FROM THE BEGINNING!! NOTHING! Nobody loved you, no one would care if you died… nobody!"

My eyes closed tightly as my tears started to sting my eyes. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be. Why?

"Bret! Don't leave me."

Instantly my attention turned back onto Kitten. Her breathing was turning into faster gasps. The pool of blood was getting larger by the second.

"Hang in there, don't die on me! I'm here. I'm not going anywhere! Stay here with me!"

My voice was broken by the sobs, which laced it. I tightened my grip on her hand and sat still focusing on her.

There was a yell, which rang through the air. I whipped my head up to see my Father face down on the ground, Hitoshi placing his knee hard on my fathers back while his father cuffed him. Mr. Sajahara roughly yanked my Father up, guiding him quickly away to the cop car.

Hitoshi got up from the ground, a panicking look plastering on his face as our eyes made contact. In a second Hitoshi was by my side looking at Kitten, who was holding my hand tightly, her grip getting tighter every minute.

"Where's the ambulance!"

I snapped, holding Kitten tighter as she started to cough. Blood slowly oozing from the side of her mouth.

"It's on its way."

"KITTEN!!"

We looked up to see Tala and May run over, fear instantly on their faces.

"What the hell happened! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!!"

Hitoshi stood up and stopped May in her tracks, calming her as tears sprung to life.

"Give her some room to breathe, she's been shot."

Tala stood next to her, running a hand nervously through his hair. Accepting it when May latched onto him. Her sobs clearly heard as she belted her fists against Tala's chest.

"WHY!?!"

We could hear the sirens from the Ambulance around the corner, the sound getting louder as it approached. My heart started to lift. Finally it was here.

"It's nearly here Kitten, hang in there."

I said soothingly, stroking her hair.

"Bret?"

"Yes."

"It's getting dark."

Tears started again, running slowly down my face, splashing lightly on her forehead. Hope slowly fading from my mind. This couldn't be happening!!

"Shit, Kitten stay here, don't leave! Stay!"

My voice begged as I gripped harder onto her hand, wiping my tears away from her forehead.

"KITTEN HANG ON!!"

May shouted, bashing her fists against Hitoshi who was still keeping her back. Tears leaking down his own face as he knew what was happening, a sad morbid frown that I've never seen before lacing his face. A frown that could make any cheerful person sad.

"Bret………… I love you."

She whispered, nearly out of breath.

"I love you to."

Came my saddened reply, as I lifted her hand to my cheek, her cold skin chilling my face. Warm tears leaking down onto her hand.

Kitten smiled sadly and then that was it, her gasps stopped and the grip she had on my hand ceased, her eyes slowly closed. Life leaving her body, she was truly dead.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

My scream echoed throughout the market place, tears now flowing quickly down my face. I wrapped my hands around Kitten and held her tightly, not wanting to believe that she was dead, forever from my life.

A small object slipped it's way out of my pocket as I continued to rock back and forth, it clinked across the bricks before cycling around a few times and stopping. The silver thin ring slicing through my body, the words _forever in love_ cut on it burning into my sole.

My eyes closed and the tears started to slow down. My thoughts coming to cold harsh realism, as the person I loved was dead in my arms.

"Love can't last forever."

**_A warm sensation fills my body, _**

My heart races with every touch,

The softness of your voice soothes,

My soul,

As I lay there hoping the moment,

Will never end,

Calling for you,

Praying you'll never let me go,

The sensation so strong,

I can no longer feel my body,

Slowly I fade in and out of reality,

In an instant the warm sensation,

Fades away,

My heart empty,

My soul torn apart.

By Angelgirl020

LAST by Anzazel

For everything there must come a last.

A last minute, a last hour, a last month, day or year.

A last drink, a last coke, a last tequila, scotch or beer.

A last love, a last heart, a last kiss, hug or rage…

Or even the last words written on a page.

But the worst thing is your last breath

Because what is to follow will surely be your death.

* * *

Cries thankyou to all the people who supported this story, I know it took ages to update but it took me along time to actually be able to type these words out.

This is the end, the finally, no sequel, nothing. :( I'll be now continuing on with harder to breath before starting to write a book. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thankyou all again for your support…..

Thankyou

Until Next Time

The Red Phoenix.


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